Registered: 1599520721 Posts: 1
I lost my beautiful Greater Swiss Mountain Dog, Seamus, 5 weeks ago. It was only 2 weeks before his 6th birthday. Just a young vivacious beautiful boy with many good years left to live. The pain is still excruciating. The guilt and regret is unbearable. I want him back!!! Why did I give up on him?! I was his advocate for all these years that everyone else said I had to put him down. I just couldn’t do it. But the last attack on our other sweet dog, Bailey, who is now 12, just tore me up. I realized I could not protect her from him, despite my best efforts, and she did not deserve to live her last years in constant fear of him. He also was extremely afraid of strangers and overly protective of us. He started biting strangers just after his first birthday. Of coarse I did everything possible.. training, trying to rehome somewhere safer and without small children, many long conversations with his breeder, the GSMD rescue, behavioral veterinary consultations, SSRI therapy... Ultimately we could be the only home for him and we were his best chance at having any sort of happy life. We adjusted every aspect of our lives to make it work. And with a now 5 year old daughter and 1 year old baby girl, it was a lot of work. But he was worth it. While everyone feared he would hurt my babies... I never did. He never once showed me a sign that he would hurt them. He LOVED us. His love was overwhelming. Never did he show any aggression to anyone he loved, except Bailey, when he was resource guarding. And it wasn’t happening a lot, sometimes it could be 6 months between attacks, and sometimes more frequent. There is just no way I could totally separate them in our little home. And most of the time they enjoyed each other’s company. But that last attack... came out of nowhere after tucking them in their beds and my husband and I going to sleep. It started to thunder and bailey who is terribly afraid of thunder tried to come be with us.. and Seamus attacked her, to keep her from us, and left bleeding puncture wounds... I just wept all night. I realized that I couldn’t even go to bed at night and feel that Bailey was safe. And suddenly I feared that accidentally even, he would mistake one of my children for bailey, and just one bite, it could all be over. My nerves were shot. In speaking with my family they said how so many nights they went to bed afraid of what could happen.. and reminded me of how just weeks before he attacked my father. He knew and loved my dad, but we were all at a lake house and I could not predict that when my dad came up beside Seamus wearing a bright orange life vest, glasses and a hat, that Seamus would not recognize him. Seamus lunged and tried to bite but luckily my sister had him on a leash and she pulled him with all her might and only my dads clothes were bitten through. But everyone was terrified. Seamus was 140 pounds and that bite would have surely sent my dad to the ER had he made skin contact. But it was my fault! I should not have given Seamus that kind of leeway..... I didn’t think he needed to die because of my mistake. Everyone I spoke with over the next few days told me that my kids could easily dress up wear hats etc and what if he didn’t recognize them one day? I didn’t think it was likely but I was afraid to go against what EVERYONE was telling me. Including my husband, who has wanted to put Seamus down for years, and our relationship had been so bad at times because of fighting over Seamus. And so, I called lap of love and he died at home in my arms 5 days after that last attack on Bailey. But now I just want to take it back. I could have tried harder.. done more to keep bailey safe from him. We had been so successful at keeping him from strangers.. no Mistakes... why did I let this sweet amazing loving beautiful boy go? Nothing is the same without him.
Registered: 1599927512 Posts: 4
I allowed my Bella to go 4 days ago and how I wish I could go bk and not have let her go, I understand your pain, the same pain takes my breath away. My love to you, you are not alone in feeling this way xx