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Annaserena

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Posts: 1
 #1 
My baby girl Chuu fell sick last week, vomiting and diarrhea everywhere. She a brown tabby cat about 10years old. I rescued her and immediately felt in love over with her quirkiness.
After getting sick she stopped eating, and taking her to the vet she couldn't keep her medicine down. They wanted to hospitalize her but couldn't garuntee her recovery. She had very very severe pancreatitis. I struggled with what to do all week, just hoping she would get better. But it had an ominous feeling like my last cat who I kept with kidney failure only to put down a year later. With him I knew it was time, with Chuu not so much.

She was hiding and not eating and reading about the disease it sounded painful and it would only get worse. I deliberated about putting her to sleep so she wouldn't suffer, but the more I read the more I didn't want her to go through that. But she still say with me, chirped at me. It didn't seem so bad. But finally I made the choice, I held her in My arms as they Injected her and she slept.

But now I am traumatized. I feel it was too soon, I should have waited, spent more money given her a chance. The vet really thought there was a chance, but a chance at thousands of dollars.

I regret everything. I feel so wrong. I failed her. She wasn't ready to go. I have been crying for three days, and she only went this morning. I don't think she understands why she is gone. She trusted me and I don't know how to make her understand ot know she's ok.
LyndaN

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Posts: 333
 #2 
She sounded very, very sick.  As much as you loved her, I'm absolutely sure you did not make an impulsive decision to release her from her suffering.  Waiting too long can be a terrible choice as well, with our animals suffering bravely when they did not need to.  We just don't have the ability to see into the future and must make the best decision we possibly can.  Many, many years ago, when I was a young adult, I had to put a wonderful cat down because I could no longer afford his treatments and surgery and he was miserable.  He was the sweetest all black boy cat ever.  I also feel I may have waited too long, until my sick dog was having black vomit and diarrhea and could hardly walk another step.  It is hard for us to let go, but we see that it is hard for them to let go as well.  They don't want to be sick or old.  They want to be well and to live. But they are not well and their bodies are failing them. Anyway, there is no easy answer.  I just know that my animals forgave me in life and surely they would forgive me in death and I must forgive myself.
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