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Gilsmom

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Posts: 3
 #1 
I bought my 14 yr old her dream Yellow Lab for her birthday. His name is Gil. He’s been gone for a month today. I knew from the third day of having him something was off. Everyone I told my concerns to said “he’s just a puppy”, “ all puppy’s bite”. The thing is he wasn’t just biting. Every month he was gaining 10 lbs and stronger and stronger. He was as big as my boxer. He would be walking and crouch down and his ears would pin back. You could see his eyes change. Then he’d attack. Draw blood, rip clothing off. You could not get him to let go like the trainer said he should do. He had food aggression also. I never got to cuddle with him, lay around with him. He’d bite out of nowhere. After talking with my vet several times she said he needed to be put down. I kept putting it off:( I knew since the third day we had him it was going to turn out this way. I was in the front yard one day and heard blood curdling screaming from my daughter out back. I ran back and Gil was attacking her. Her jeans were torn, her shirt almost off and blood. I decided that day.

I know he wasn’t wired right. I know I never got puppy licks or cuddles. But boy my Gil was so loved. He was goofy and loved to swim and catch popcorn in the air like his big brother Bruno. I miss him and cry everyday. We buried him next to my 16 year old Spaniel. Sadly it looks like a shrine. I hope one day I will get over this.

I keep thinking through the tears that we were blessed to have picked him. I always think someone else would have picked him and beaten him for this. I really hope he is running free somewhere and not in pain:(
Thanks for listening to me.
Ghatten

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Posts: 1,821
 #2 

You gave your baby a safe place and you loved him - and you gave him a lifetime of love and care in his time with you then allowed him a dignified good-bye allowing him to leave with dignity surrounded by love. You gave him chances where many would not. Please know you did try and in the end had no real choice - what were your baby's options? Life in a cage? Intervention 'on the spot' by the authorities when things got too out of control? Someone scarred and their death happening at the hands of someone trying to stop him? An end that likely would not have been with ones who love your baby or care if he is frightened? You gave your baby a wonderful life where elsewhere he may have known abuse, and gave him every chance you could and you tried to give him a home where he would be safe. When your baby passed to the hands of the angels it was be from love to love, they carried your baby to a place where he is free of the demons that made him aggressive and at that instant your baby understood that you acted out of love and compassion. Your baby is free and happy. Please know all you are feeling right now is normal and no matter what the circumstances is what we have all felt. i am so very sorry for your loss.

Know we are here for you and your family. Sadly, we have seen this tale before and we do understand and we know sometimes there is no choice.

When you can please share a photo. I feel certain there are so many wonderful memories in 5 years with your baby, and sharing those sometimes helps. And if you just need someone to sit by your side - well you now belong to a family that circles the globe.

 

 

[gentleones_title]



[silverrose-tears] 




It seemed the day was even grayer than even the greyest of days. The pup found she was suddenly at the edge of the most beautiful place she had ever seen. She could still feel Mom and Dad's tears, hear their sobs. "I'm so sorry Mom and Dad, I really did try but the demons are too strong and sometimes they pushed through." She lowered her head and began to walk away, to be sure she did not deserve to be someplace so lovely.

A radiant being in white suddenly stood in her path, surrounded by many other pups of all sizes and breeds. "Please," she implored, "I don't want to, but if you stay near me sooner or later the demons will win and I may hurt one of you. I don't want to hurt anyone, its best if I just go."

The radiant being just smiled at her - a soft compassionate smile, at that moment they reminded her of her Mom and Dad. "I let them down so many times, I didn't want the demons to win but sometimes they do. And I left them no choice, I let them down and hurt them yet again."

Hero, Seabreeze, Heather, Charlie, Molly, John, Stashie, Hershey, Samson, Morgan, Niko, Jordan, Timber, Dixie, Buddy, Tina, Snickers, Dizzy, Harley, Jack, Kimmi, Sammy, Fender, Tosca, Bruno, tried to gather around the newcomer but she backed away. Seabreeze stepped forward, "We won't hurt you little one." She looked to the radiant being and whimpered, "Please make them leave. I don't want to hurt anyone else."

Now the radiant being smiled and actually seemed amused. "Little One, reach within. Can you feel that? Can you feel the demons are gone?" The little one got quiet and after a moment looked up in amazement, "They ARE gone!!" Then she looked at the others around her, "But I've done so many bad things, I don't deserve nice friends. I don't deserve to be in such a wonderful place." Now the others all looked amused. Dizzy spoke up first, "We all felt that way at first." Slowly Dizzy's words filtered in. "You mean . . . ., I am not the only one?" she asked quietly.

Tina pushed to the front, "Of course not, all our humans had to make that same choice as yours. But now you're free - the demons are gone." The Little one thought on Tina's words. "What about Mom and Dad? Can I let them know I am free, that I'm sorry?"

At that moment all the others grew quiet, the Little One looked to the radiant being and realized they were gone. She looked to the rest afraid their silence meant no. Just then a large silver wolf walked up to her, she knew she should fear a wolf, yet, somehow knew she could trust The Silver One. "Have you all finished monopolizing her time yet? If you are done she still needs to be shown the reflection pond, to be shown . . "

Just then the Little One heard a familiar sound, her Mom and Dad. "They are here?" she asked, and she followed the sound. She found herself by the clearest crystal pond, and when she looked into the pond she saw her Mom and Dad." Concentrate on them, Little One. Send your love and thanks to them - from your heart to theirs - and they will feel your love." the Silver One said gently. As she watched her Mom and Dad seemed to calm even thought they were still crying, and her Mom looked up at her Dad, "She is at peace now wrapped in our love."

The Little One looked at the Silver One and the others, "Thank You." The Silver One looked at the others and back at her, "You can see them anytime you wish from here. The others will show you how to send them your love, Little One."

(c) Candace 11/13/09

All too often people do not want to discuss this type loss, so those who experience making the decision due to aggression issues feel they are alone.

All the names of the other ones are real – Fur angels we have seen at PetLoss because their parents had to make that sad decision due to aggression issues. i am sure there are other names also - newer names and names I have accidentally left out.

We understand - know that you had no choice and we understand that you are in pain. But your fur child is with the other fur angels - free of the demons she fought against so hard.

 




ghattenwolf

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