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Posts: 1
On Friday, I drove the 3.5 hours home from college. This weekend was supposed to be good. I was already stressed from other things in my life, including my dog being diagnosed with cancer, and just wanted to get home to see my three fur babies. It didn't take long to realize there was something wrong with my sweet girl Clover. She wasn't coming up to me, her breaths were sharp and fast and she was hunched over. All she wanted to do was go in my room and sleep. I knew I'd have to take her to the vet as soon as possible, the emergency clinic just wasn't a financial option.

I called the vet at 8am, as soon as they opened. She was in by 8:30. Everything was so fast. They looked at her and said they needed to run some tests. I knew it wasn't anything good and started crying immedietly. When they came back, they said her lungs were filled with fluid. They couldn't even see or hear her heart. The only option was to transfer her to an emergency clinic, but the vet said whatever the cause, it wasn't good. I simply couldn't afford to get the treatment for her and neither could my parents, especially with the recent diagnois if my dogs fatal cancer. The vet said she likely wouldn't make it through the weekend. Putting her down was the only option.

We got some time with her and gave her some treats, and a lot of love. She was purring and headbutting and being her usual sweet self. She was only 9 for Christ's sake. That makes it so much harder. The last thing I expected that morning was her not coming back home. I held her in my eyes as they injected her. She was so scared, just staring outside the window at the passing cars.

It still doesn't seem real. I'm so angry and sad. I keep expecting to see her, to hear her. I can't stop crying and my heart is broken. It just feels so pty without her here. She brought so much joy to my life. Just a month ago she was happy and healthy and it hurts that I was away at college during her last weeks. If I had known she wasn't going to teturn from the vet, I would have done things differently. I would have brought her favorite blanket, her favorite treats. I would have given her some catnip the night before and held her tighter. And now I'll never see her again. It hurts so bad, I just want to stop crying.

Clover, I'm so sorry this happened to you. You deserved it the least. I will always love you.

Posts: 60
I'm sorry about your cat's death.  You obviously gave Clover much love and could be with her at the end. Those things are the most important.

Posts: 67
((hugs)) Its such a shock when they go quickly. Its hard when they have not lived a full life. Heck its hard when they have led a full life.  I wish I could have had the whole day to spend with my girl once the decision was made. I only got an hour. Sigh. Godspeed CLover. 

Posts: 4
My heart breaks for you. We lost our 6 year old pup Baxter two weeks ago today. He was healthy on Sunday and we had to say goodbye on Friday. He was in acute liver and kidney failure. We had post-mortem tests done and we will never know what happened. I think I may have had one cry-free day since. I completely understand the anger and sadness that you'll never see your beautiful Clover again. I feel the same way. When Baxter passed, he took a piece of us with him; a piece that can never be replaced. I look for signs from him everywhere so that I know he's okay. We have his urn in our home office and I talk to him each day. I know my friends probably think I'm nuts, but I honestly don't care. He was my baby boy and my heart.

Please know you are in a place where we understand the grief. Allow yourself to feel everything you're feeling. Cry when you need to. And reach out to all of us when you need a shoulder and an ear. Take care.

Posts: 3
My heart breaks for you. I too know how it is to lose a pet very suddenly and think of all the things you wish you could have done, but it’s not good to dwell on past and Clover wouldn’t want you to either. She knows you loved her and she wouldn’t want you to be sad. The first couple of days are always the hardest, I used to come home from work and just lay down in my boy Bandit’s bed and cry myself to sleep. But it WILL get better, eventually. Just remember all the good times you had. Do something in her honor, my friends and family made me things (wrote poems, songs, gave me picture frames with my favorite pictures of him, and my moms artist best friend even did a painting of my absolute favorite picture of him) that made me happy knowing how much he was loved.
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