Registered: 1285608543 Posts: 2
Friday I let go of my precious Buffy. She was 9 or so years old, she was in my life for 3 years and was a rescue. I feel so guilty right now for my choice to let her go. I can still see her looking at me. Her arthritis and nervous system issues made it impossible for her to get up or walk by herself for the last 2 months of her life. But she always tried, she still loved snacks and visiting my parents and trying to chase their little dog, but she spent all her time laying down, unless I picked her up and walked her around. Last week she started having some type of anxiety attacks or seizures at night and I knew she was suffering more. We had gotten into such a routine with each other, and then with me always making sure she was taken care of. I didn't leave her but only for a couple of hours at a time. The past days have been filled with "firsts without Buffy." Having that first dinner and her not being there to lick the bottom of the plate was so sad, my first morning not telling her Good Morning and seeing her little face look up at me to help her go potty, and today my first day working from home and not having her here next to me, or to have lunch with me, or go for our walk or sit in the yard. I keep telling myself that she was suffering and was a prisoner of her own body and mind, and that I rescued her from a chained life so couldn't let her be "chained" again, but it doesn't help. I can't stop crying.
Registered: 1272934724 Posts: 308
I am so so sorry about your "baby Buffy, the loss of our babies is so much harder then we expect. 9 years is still to young .. i lost my boy also at 9 ..when i should of had 3 or 4 more years. This is a wonderful place and has helped me so much. We are all where you are or have been there. Everyone here truely understands. I know we will someday be reuntied with our babies again, and that knowledge helps me get thru those hard days. Somedays its better but never ok..yet. In time i suppose. Good luck to you and hugs from Ohio
Lennys Mom Katie
Registered: 1285608543 Posts: 2
Thank you, Katie, I'm sorry for your loss, too..thank you so much for responding. I am trying to imagine Buffy running around, playing with a bunch of furry friends now.
Registered: 1281404317 Posts: 39
It is so hard to let go. I think you did the rightthin even though incredibly hard decision to make.
Registered: 1219887733 Posts: 11,059
I am sorry your precious little Buffy has passed on. It is never an easy decision to help them to their next life, but it is so hard watching them suffer. In time, you will know you made the right decision. Giving your baby a new life is one of the sweetest gifts. Buffy is at the bridge with all our babies and is enjoying her pain free life.
Losing a precious pet is very hard to accept. Knowing that they won't be there at the end of a busy day is tough. Their sweet little faces could brighten our day in a heart beat. Again, I am very sorry for your loss. Mare precious Christoph ~ the love of my life
Registered: 1206744372 Posts: 174
I am so sorry for your loss and I know how very had it is to let go even when you know that it is time. After 21 years my ailing Taco was suffering too much and I had to make the decision for him. It is so hard that first day when you see a special spot or remember something funny and wonderful that your Buffy used to do with you. Hang on and remember that this is just a temporary separation and you will be with Buffy again when it is your time to go the Bridge.
Many hugs, Rena
Registered: 1190388689 Posts: 32
I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my Lucky less than 2 weeks ago. She was very young, about 4 years old and she had FeLV. I wish I had the strength you did to let her go earlier, when she stopped eating and became very weak. In her last 2 days, when the virus attacked her brain and she couldn't see, I still clung on hoping for a miracle. I wish I had let her go then, but I didn't and she had to suffer longer, going into respiratory failure, gasping for air and going into seizures before finally leaving. I feel so guilty too for not making the decision earlier. So don't blame yourself. At least you gave her 3 wonderful years. That's what I try to tell myself. Lucky was with me for only 2 years but if I hadn't picked up her from the streets she wouldn't have lived that extra 2 years. Take care, the guilt will get better I promise you.
Registered: 1274244361 Posts: 893
That's so hard. But you did what was right by her. As much as she loved you and still does, I bet she didn't want to live like that. It's so hard to make decisions like that when they can't talk to us. I always think that no matter when we decide, it's either too early or too late.....there is no "right" time.
It's hard to say goodbye to our friends. Think of the happy times, the running around times and all the good things that you shared with your Buffy.
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
I am so sorry your beautiful Buffy has passed on. it is just so painful to watch a furbaby get so ill. Your statement at the end was so very profound. You said you rescued her from a chained life, and did not want her to be "chained" by her illness. How you loved/still love that sweet girl! And, she loves you. She must be so very, very proud of you for helping her get her gossamer angel wings! She is no longer chained, she is free and healthy again. One glorious day, you will experience the awesome joy of holding her in your arms, never to be separated again. Until then, may all your wonderful memories warm your heart.