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LifeHater

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Posts: 5
 #1 
Im at a loss. I still can't really stop thinking he's not really gone. My Shih Tzu, Duke, was 12 years old when he succumbed to his wounds, at 16:24 August 18, 2018; inflicted by my 4 year old Texas Heeler, Scout. I loved Duke beyond belief. I've had a rough childhood, seen lots of friends and relatives die. People. But none of them hurt anywhere near as bad as Duke and Scout. Scout attacked Duke several weeks ago, for no reason. Sport. No reason. Out of hate, I decided to have him put down. I sat, just starting, at Duke's grave from 16:00 to 22:00. Thinking about life. Jogging memories about the past. I will miss them both dearly. I can't stand it. But I feel like I would have let Duke don if I don't have Scout euthanized. I will have lost Duke, 10 days before my birhday, and Scout, 8. I am torn up. Im stoic from it, emotionless, but its banging screaming and destroying me in the back of my mind. Jogging memories from friends and family passing. I don't really know what to think about life anymore. Im not suicidal, but definitely depressed. I don't know what to do. I spent Duke's last minutes with him. He wanted outside after being lethargic since the attack, I was hopeful, then not even a minute later, he keels over, stretches out, moans and wails in pain, and passes away. In my hands. I've just been listening to music from my childhood. I can't really think about anything right now. I have school tomorrow, and Im afraid ot of anger if someone wrongs me I will hurt them bad. I have 7 years of martial arts. Im trying to just put it behind me, but its tough.
Dogsarepeopletoo

Registered:
Posts: 106
 #2 
How heartbreaking. Has Scout shown aggression in the past? Could Scout be sick and reacted because he wasn't feeling well? If you are up to it, you might check with a trainer or dog behaviorist and see if Scout can be trained or rehomed (depended on his history).

I am not trying to tell you what to do - I just do not want you to act in haste and have that compound your emotions.

It is very hard to lose a beloved pet; they are at our sides through so much in their all-too-short lives; it's agony to lose them. Please take a deep breath, post here as much as you feel necessary so we can all support you.

Take care!
pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #3 
I am so very, very sorry for your loss. Way too difficult for us to understand. My thoughts are with you.
LifeHater

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #4 
pb313- Thank you!
Dogsarepeopletoo- Yes. He is inferior to our biggest dog, the alpha of our "outside" dogs, Cody; who is a Great Pyrenees/ Yellow Lab mix. He also has a genetical mean streak which we just picked up, whom his father and several of his children also have. He has attacked and bitten the garbage and recycle person, he has bitten me before for seperating him and our smaller "outside" dog Rio. He also daily attacks Rio and Panda, Panda is one of his daughters. Panda also recently bit me on my thumb, for trying to pet her, for which she has never done before.
Ljldrn

Registered:
Posts: 19
 #5 
I am so very sorry for your losses. I know this had to be very very hard for you both losing your precious Duke and then your good friend Scout. You made a very difficult decision, one that would be hard for anyone in this position. You will miss and grieve the loss of both of your fur babies, and it will never go away...it supposedly gets easier. Just try to make it day to day and do not judge yourself for what you could’ve done or did in your decisions. Just try to heal yourself, this is a very very difficult time. Think about all the joy your had with your fur babies and try to dwell on those thoughts. Accidents happen all the time with dogs and sometimes you cannot even fathom that one of your dogs would hurt another of their pack...but it happens and it happens all the time. We are not all gifted with the ability to understand dogs and their behaviors...we can just try to be good humans for them. Remember that...you are only human and trying to do the right thing. I hope I understood your post correctly...I am just sending positive thoughts and prayers your way to help you heal. Take care of yourself.
Laura Johnson
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