Registered: 1211849060 Posts: 3
I had to send Hershey on his way friday morning. Although I was relieved he would not be suffering, my heart is broken. He took a piece of me with him. Today was a hard day emotionally. I found myself breaking down a couple of times out of the blue. Hershey was my best friend for 12 years and he taught me so much. I love him dearly. In January of 2007 he was diagnosed with inoperable throat cancer. Hershey wasn't expected to live to february. But he had a warriors spirit and we both refused to give up. The last year and a half my main focus has been making sure he was happy and healthy. I attacked his nutrition and prayed my love would heal him. I prayed a lot with him and we were blessed with extra time until last Weds. he started to act different. Thurs. night I saw the light leave his eyes. And friday on the way, well, the cancer attacked with a vengeance. I was so relieved he wouldn't be suffering. I think this weekend I was in shock at how quick it happened. Now I'm just broken hearted. He brought so much joy into my life and he was the best friend i've ever had. I still look for him. And I had to stop myself from calling home from work this weekend to check on him. I'm feeling a bit lost, is this normal? I stumbled across this website and i want to say thank you to everyone for the comfort I am finding here. And my heart goes out to all of you.
Registered: 1205715660 Posts: 763
brokenwarrior, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Hershey. He is not suffering any more, now you must suffer for him. We all gladly take on the suffering for our darlings, but it is so hard. His spirit will be with you, all around you and he will be your angel watching over you. The people here have been such a help to me and you will find comfort in their words. You will miss your Hershey for a long time, perhaps forever so, yes, it is normal to feel lost. We all do. I wish you peace and comfort. Again, I am so very sorry. Donna, Mr. Meowgy's mom
Registered: 1203608651 Posts: 1,234
I lost my Chocolate long haired doxie last December at the age of six. He too was a special boy and is missed by everyone in the family. His fur brothers Silver and Mozart were so crushed that together we added a smooth red boy to the family in early January.
My deepest symapthy on the loss of Hershey. I hope that your Hershey and my Hershala meet and are becoming friends.
Please write more about your beloved Hershey.
Meriam, Silver, mozart and Kuggel
Registered: 1197250967 Posts: 258
I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious friend, Hershey. I know that the pain that you are feeling now is overwhelming, and my heart goes out to you. It is so very difficult to lose our little ones, and almost even worse to see them suffer. What a brave and difficult decision you made for your Hershey - one that we all hope never to be faced with. You did the most unselfish and loving thing for your boy, and at exactly the right time, just as he let you know. I had to make the same decision for my dog, Max, back in December, and I do know how hard it is to let them go. Please be comforted knowing that Hershey is well and vibrant and free of pain at the beautiful Rainbow Bridge. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs and warm wishes, MaxsMom ~ Joanne
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
Dear Broken Warrior,
I am so sorry for your loss of your beloved companion, Hershey. And, yes, it is normal to feel lost, and despondent, and tearful....all that, and worse. You have lost the unconditional love that a little furbaby lives to provide. You have lost a best friend. We all know this pain all too well. I think it is a wonderful testament to the love and devotion you felt for Hershey that you were able to sustain his life for so long as he battled that dreadful cancer. How strong the two of you were.....warriors, both, in the fight. And, he could feel your love every minute of that time. All those times you carefully selected his nutrition, all the times you prayed, all the times you held him. What a wonderful connection the two of you had. Most people never get to experience something so blessed. Again, I am so sorry. Please tell us more about Hershey when you feel up to it, and maybe post a photo of him. We will be here for you. Hugs, Melissa Beloved Betsy's forever mom
Registered: 1211419779 Posts: 6
I sure can identify with your loss....I just put my best friend down too, after 12 years...they are warriors and were blessed to have a warrior angel to care for Hershey...
Registered: 1211849060 Posts: 3
I can't even begin to thank you all for you kind words and incredible support. And for all that have been seperated from their furbabies, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
This past week has been a roller coaster to say the least. My heart is terribly broken and yet I am happy hershey is well now. I feel like a crazy woman at times. This is going to sound strange to some, but I swear I've felt him in the house during the candle lighting monday night and again tuesday. I miss my bub so much, I keep expecting him to come around the corner giving me one of his famous smiles. What I wouldn't give to hug him again. I'm rambling and this is too hard right now. Thank you all again from the bottom of my heart. I'm so happy I found this place and when I'm able, I hope to give some comfort and support to others as you all have given to me. You're all in my prayers. thank you brokenwarrior
Registered: 1197081544 Posts: 686
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I know how much you are missing your sweet Hershey. My thoughts and prayers are with you. When you feel up to it, we would love to hear more about Hershey. I know it helped me to share my happy memories when I lost my Gus. Hugs Kate (Gus' mom)
Registered: 1211849060 Posts: 3
Thank you so much for your kind words kate. This friday will be a month and i can't believe it. I thought i was doing pretty well but I don't know. I find myself slipping and going to call him. Sometimes I swear I can feel him sitting next to me. I feel him a lot in the car. What I wouldn't give to give him a bit hug. My heart is missing a piece. We were so in tune with each other, I feel empty. He was such a loving boy. I miss everything. My boy was a big hugger. Anytime I gave some one a hug, hersh would jump up and put a on each of us. I was going through pictures the other day and I have quite a few with the back of hersheys head and paws on me and whoever else is in pic. I laughed at that. I miss his hugs, he would put his arms around my neck. He was fantastic. And his smiles. Anytime I'd walk throught the door whether it was from returning from work or a quick errand, he would walk sideways in a horse show shape wagging his tail with a full smile. Anytime I'd smile at him, hershey would smile back. I called it his elvis smile the way his lip would lift up. It's so hard. A lot of times I don't feel like people understand what I'm going through. I'm very thankful for this site and support. I thought about about getting another puppy, now I don't know now. Thanks again.
Registered: 1211860763 Posts: 139
I feel your pain because I too had to make that decision and it was one of the worst days of my life. But we made the choice because we could long longer stand to see our beloved friends with the light gone from their eyes or see them in any more pain. We took on their pain to set them free from theirs. We loved them that much! It is heart breaking and some days, I know, are harder than others. Some days it feels like all there is to do is cry. They do take a piece of our hearts with them when they go but they are keeping those pieces and safeguarding them until we see them again. I believe with my whole heart that our best friends give us signs that they are still with us. Either in a thought, thinking you see them or for that brief moment when we forget that they are gone and we expect to see them there. You are not a crazy woman, you are just a woman who has suffered a horrible loss. You don't sound crazy to me and I'm sure not to anyone else here. You have found the right place to come for help. The people here are so great and have helped me through one of the most difficult times of my life. I have lost people in my family and my beloved Comet and although the relationship with each is different the pain is the same. Comet was a member of my family as I am sure that Hershey was yours. Try to be kind to yourself, allow yourself all the time you need to grieve and try to find some comfort for yourself if even only for a few moments. This is still an open and raw wound and you need time to heal. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Margaret
Registered: 1198872932 Posts: 1,205
I am so, so sorry for your loss of Hershey. We all here know what what you are going through. That is why this site is such a supportive place to come, because we know how you feel. Often friends and family dont understand our grief, but here, is different.
I dont think you are mad either. I can feel my babies very strongly at times, it warms my heart and gives me great comfort. I talk to them all too. Thinking of you at this sad time. Much love Di xxx
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
Dear Broken Warrior,I guess what I am trying to tell you is, don't be afraid to love again and take another chance. You will know when the time is right, my friend.
I think it is so very comforting when we feel our babies around us. I feel my Betsy girl around me so often, even at work. In fact, I once dreamed she was waiting for me outside my office. I have had several "dream visits" from her that have warmed my heart, and made me realize she has a beautiful existence at the Bridge. So, I am happy you are having similar feelings. I also know the pain of longing to hold Betsy once more in my arms, to see her entertaining little tap dance, and hear her melodic "WooWooWoo" yodel. Oh, how I yearn for her physical presence. So, when I read of your precious Hershey's Elvis smiles, hugs, and his sideways walk, tears came to my eyes. Your words made him come alive for me, and I missed him, too. Maybe a new puppy would be just the healing balm your heart needs. I think Hershey will eventually "choose" just the right one for you. There is no rush. You will just know when it feels right. My husband and I married six years ago and I inherited the most wonderful German Shorthaired Pointer, Easy, as a dog-son. Easy, our sweet love, passed away in January of 2005. My husband was inconsolable....he wouldn't even mention Easy's name, he was so bereft. Well, nine months later, in a terrible thunderstorm, a gorgeous pure black Black Lab Mix pup came to our home, all flea-bitten and feverish. I ran down to the basement to tell my husband a little black lab was under our carport. Well, he sprinted up the stairs unlike I had ever seen him do, and tended to the pup. She was about 1.5 years old, or a bit less. He named her "Grace" because he said the Grace of God brought her to us. No one ever claimed this magnificent dog, so she is ours forever. She has healed my husband's heart. He still misses Easy terribly, but, boy was this little Lab his "Saving Grace". Hugs, Melissa Betsy's and Easy's forever mom