Registered: 1561517468 Posts: 1
5 days ago my little baby Miniature Schnauzer Matzah past away. Matzah was about 12 years old. I rescued him 4 years ago from a miniature Schnauzer organization thst found him in the street. Matzah was so special to me and my best frind and family as it me and him wvwry day for 4 years at home, and i took him to work with me everyday.
We had the most amazing connection ive ever had with anyone. He got older but i was talking to him about life, work etc. U know, like a best friend not like crazy, because it was me and him. Friday i was watching my best friends house ans dog as i did before many times. Me and Matzah were there hundreds of time in the yard, by himself just walking around. At about 6 I went to the store and he was inside waiting for me and jumping from happiness with the other dog. I opened the yard doors n he walked outside n i put the groceries for maybe a min. I looked outside and i don't see him. In my heart i know something is wrong. I ran outside and i saw him at the bottom of the pool, like he was sleeping. I jumped inside and took him out and tried to revive him n i swear i felt is heart n i tried to press n do cpr. I called emergency vet n they were open so i drove there 100 miles an hour in red light but it was 10 min away that felt like an hour. When i arrived the took him but..... They came back and said that my Matzah past away. My baby, drownd in my best friends pool. I don't understand how he drownd. He walked in the yard hundreds of times. I dont understand why, whyyyy i didnt let the other dog be with him, she would probably bark and i would hear her and run outside. Maybe i should have done cpr better. Why i couldn't save my baby Matzah. I cant shake his image at the bottom of pool, im trying but i see him struggling in my mind to breath n going down and asking for help and i wasnt there for him. He didnt float so maybe it wasnt to late and i didnt save him. Im gojng crazy. Im crying and missing him alot every minute. Im like a zomby walking at home . Today i was angryyy. At everythin, at the world, at my self ,at Matzah why he left me like that. What could i have done better. I find myself screaming while driving yesterday and today because of what happened and looking at the seat next to me where Matzah was every day, and cry,just cry.. My fiance moved here a month ago with her 5 yr old kid n said i was angry this evening. My voice was louder and just my tone. She did take all of his stuff from the house, his bed, crate, etc so i will not see it and go crazy. I see him in the house and at work all the time in my mind and im just going.... crazy. I miss him so so much. The house feels empty witout him in my life. Im busy but its empty. I go downstairs and sit in the dog park just to be like every day as before. Just for 5 min. Its been 4 and a half days i know, but i miss him and im dying inside. I dont know what to do.
Registered: 1560594816 Posts: 22
I am so very sorry for your loss. Sometime things happen and we don't know why. We may never know why. There is no doubt you did everything you could. This was an accident. My dear cat Green Bean died in an accident a couple of weeks ago and I had (and sometimes still have) the feelings you have now. All we can do is take things one day at a time and honor our beloved pets the best we can.
There is no doubt in my mind that Matzah and Green Bean are playing together at the Rainbow Bridge. I hope you find some solace in that. Some who have posted here feel the need to seek professional help. If this is the case with you do not hesitate. God bless.