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Jamyer

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Posts: 17
 #1 
It’s been 2 years since we had to put our Dalmatian Cleo to sleep. I still get very emotional when I think of her, and still have her ashes at home. Is this normal, and are you supposed to keep the ashes or release them? I also get very sad at times when I look at our Frenchie, Luke. I love her so much and the thought of having to go through the pain of losing her one day is overwhelming. Does anyone also feel this way too?
Ashlie

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Posts: 3
 #2 
I believe it's fine to keep the ashes or spread them. It's whatever you desire and helps to give you peace. I have my cat Shordinger hurried in my front yard so I can still visit him. If keeping the ashes brings you comfort then do it. It's normal to get sad at the thought of your beloved passing just don't forget to spend time and love them. I get sad when seeing my other cats and thinking about them leaving me but we will all meet at Rainbow Bridge someday.
Thinking of you.
goofygirlinva

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Posts: 1,191
 #3 
Hi Jamyer,
Whatever you decide to do with Cleo's ashes is perfectly fine. I know some have scattered ashes, others have kept them. Others have decided to bury their pet on their property.

With all of my childhood pets, my parents did not keep their bodies nor did they have them cremated so we never had a grave site or ashes to remember them by after they passed away. As I got older I wished my parents had at least had them cremated, so when my Squeeker passed away (2 years ago to this day, BTW), I decided to keep his ashes and selected a beautiful cat urn that I keep at my bedside. I also purchased a necklace that has a place to hold some of Squeeker's ashes. I also decided to plant a Hydrangea in his honor. The first one I planted did not survive one of our harsher Minnesota winters. But the replacement Hydrangea I planted last fall survived and is now doing well this spring, so that is nice to have a plant to remember my boy. I also created a separate memorial garden for one of my other cats (Blackie) that passed away. That garden is doing well as well, and it is always nice to have a place in my back yard to go to and sit and remember the times Blackie and I shared.

Whatever you do, just try to think of the good times you and Cleo shared. Perhaps find a spot in your home where you can go and spend some time and just think back on the times the two of you shared, a place that can bring you peace and where you can smile thinking of the life you and Cleo shared...

Hugs,
- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom


grievingmom

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Posts: 639
 #4 


You are supposed to do with the ashes what brings you the most peace. I would never scatter the ashes of my beloved pet children. I want their remains close by.

What you are describing with Luke is something called "anticipatory grief". It is when we begin to grieve the eventual loss of someone we love even when they are still alive. So yes, it is a normal phenomena. I had severe anticipatory grief when my cat daughter Emerald got older. I knew by virtue of her age she would be dying sometime in the short years ahead and I was a basket case. I had the same experience with my dog Shad. I was out of my mind with grief while both were still alive.

Pet loss hotlines help with this. There is also a free hotline with a group called Day By Day Pet Loss Support that help me too. https://daybydaypetsupport.com/ All are free.



Jamyer

Registered:
Posts: 17
 #5 
Thank you all for your replies. I get tears in my eyes just reading them. I had planted a rose in a pot outside , but it only lasted about a year. It’s good to know we all feel so strongly towards our beloved pets. Bless you all.
goofygirlinva

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #6 
Jaymer, I planted a Hydrangea for Squeeker the fall after he passed away. It did not survive our harsh winters here, so last fall I planted another one. This time it survived and is doing well (knock on wood it stays that way).

I only mention this because perhaps you might want to try planting a rose one more time. Hopefully this time it will stick and you will get the wonderful blooms you were most likely hoping for...

Hugs to you,

- Kelly
Angel Blackie's mom
Angel Squeeker's mom

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