Registered: 1197454135 Posts: 47
My little bear, I miss you so much.
The last 6 months have been an eternity in slow motion. Life is so hard without you. I’ve asked God to give you back, told him I would give everything I had but I guess He and your new bridge friends need you more than I do. I miss you so much. I miss saying your name, the freckles on your nose, hearing your footsteps going upstairs to bed, reaching out to you in the night when you came to check on me and you’d put your head in my hand and licked my palm, the groove in the top of your head, your strong shoulders, sharing all my dinners!, going down the pet section at the shops to buy your sweeties, going for our walks in the sunshine, making up your ‘nest’ in the mornings before I went to work, our conversations when you’d puff out your cheeks and make your pigeon sounds, seeing your happy face and wagging tail when I’d come home from the shops and you’d be waiting for me at the gate, how you’d go through all the shopping and pull something out so that I’d chase you, how you’d sleep right against me in bed, watching you run and run, listening to you bark in your sleep, stroking your little face when you’d curl up beside me while I was studying, giving you kisses, watching you sleep on the chair next to mum, how you’d stretch your neck like ET when you woke up, stepping over you when you were sunbathing, how you’d walk over mum's plants, how you’d stand under me when the fridge was open, how you’d bounce from side to side on your feet. I miss knowing that you are at home. My best friend, my nugget of love, my baby girl I love and miss you so much. Oh how I've studied the photographs I have of you, if only I could reach in and touch your little face again. I feel so guilty that you suffered so. You hid your pain because, I believe, you wanted to stay with us, because you loved me and mummy as much as we loved you. My darling I’m so sorry you were in such pain even when the vet was checking you over and he hurt you, you didn’t react. You were so brave my little friend. Please bear, please forgive me for not seeing what was happening to you, I'm so sorry you suffered, I'm so sorry bear. I love you so much. This is the last photo I have of you. You look so sad, like you knew your time was coming. Please know we did the best we could, that you are loved still that I miss you with all my heart. There are so many mums and dads who feel the same as me. I hope you have made lots of friends and that you and Nugget are having fun. Be happy, be safe, be healthy and have fun. Know that you are all loved. My darling girl, please wait for me until I can come and get you. I'll love you always. Ruthie xxxxxx
Registered: 1178570509 Posts: 1,288
I think we have all asked God to give them back to us at one time or another, "if only!!" I understand the pain of your loss and know how time feels like like it moves in slow motion. When we lose our little loves time is not filled with the joy we have had with them and therefore it moves so slowly - there is nothing that fills that time... No matter how many memories we have of them, and you have some wonderful ones, we still miss them actually being here with us. It takes a long time to ever accept that they are really gone from us. I understand how you feel about the pictures, I look at mine and feel like they should still be here and I can just go touch them whenever I want to. It has been over 13 months and I still feel that way. You had a wonderful love in your life and I am so very sorry that she is gone from you now. Hold her close to your heart and she will always be there, safe and waiting. It is all we have to sustain us sometimes. Helen
Registered: 1174875149 Posts: 2,245
I am so sorry about your loss of Bear and so sorry that you are in so much pain. Your post broke my heart and made me cry as I understand the overwhelming pain of your loss. I could have written every word that you wrote. Christopher was extremely ill when I had to let him go to the Bridge. There are times when I ask myself if I waited too long, but like Bear, he did not want to leave his mommy. I too have begged God to give Christopher back as well as begged him to let me go too. I think the pain is just so devastating we are willing to do whatever it takes to get them back. Christopher will have been gone for 14 months tomorrow. It was the worst day of my life and I will Never forget him dying in my arms. He was my Heart, My Soul and My Best Friend; I will miss him Forever. Trying to save our fur babies is like trying to save people; we do all we can to save them, but when God says it is time there is nothing we can do. You and Bear are in My Prayers. Big Hugs Georgeann and Christopher Forever
Registered: 1165864486 Posts: 577
Like Georgeann said, I could have written your post myself. Let me tell you how sorry I am for your loss. I am going on a year and a half next month of the loss of my sweet Maltese and it is still so hard. Your post, it hit home for me so deeply. Just everything you wrote brought tears to my eyes. Please know my thoughts are with you.
Many hugs.. Cindy Merry's mom
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
I cried as I read about your beloved Rosie Bear. Your deep love and devotion to her is obvious in every word you have written in her honor. You made her come alive in this post. What a precious girl she was, and still is. So many things about her reminded me of my own little Betsy. The way she talked in her sleep, how she "danced" from foot to foot, how she checked on you....oh, so many dear things she did that made her become a part of your heart. And, she is such a pretty baby, isn't she? I cried again as you told her you were sorry she suffered. Ruthie, they hide their suffering from us because they are "perfect" souls. They love us unconditonally with the whole of their hearts and, I believe, in the end, they want to protect us from their pain. They want to stay with us as long as they can, so they almost always suffer in silence. My Betsy did the same near the end. She was so silent. No "WooWooWoo", no cries, no grunts. Just silence. But, I knew it was time to let go. And, now my heart is forever broken. Ruthie, Bear will be the first one you see when you pass. She will be there ready to give you kisses and do her little happy dance. This I know without a doubt. Until then, she is happy and safe with Nugget, Betsy, and the rest of our furbabies. She KNOWS and can still feel just how much you love her, and is forever grateful that you are her mum. You were so blessed to belong to each other. Sending hugs to you, Melissa Betsy's forever mom
Registered: 1200561771 Posts: 251
Your tribute to your girl is just so beautiful and gut wrenching at the same time. Rosie was the love of your life, your baby, your snuggle partner and life is so hard without your bear. She misses you as much as you miss her you know? She misses your cuddles and your long walks and snuggles on the couch. She is giving you the strength to make so many changes in your life, she is still around you sweetie and her spirit will always be alive. Just know that she has her Nugget to love her now and he is taking good care of her, but keeps her on her toes by teasing her about her tartan coat!. We will reunite with them and life will finally be perfect again. I LOVE the pictures you posted, particularly the one of her stretching at the fence. Staffy's are so goodlooking and so proud aren't they? Remember her that way sweetie. Rosie and Nugget forever! (And I think Betsy is joining the gang too!!!) xxxx
Registered: 1197839779 Posts: 1,328
Ruthie--Rosie Bear looks like a real sweet soul. You can see that in her pictures. Sorry for your loss.
Registered: 1200561771 Posts: 251
Thinking of you and your Rosiebear. I have a feeling that the kids are up to mischief today. xx