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cmartin04

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Posts: 73
 #1 
Sorry if this is 2 long just need to tell anna's story. I got her when she was 6 weeks old she was a lab/mastiff mix so she was a big girl and we bonded completely. For the next 11 years she became my best friend. Buddy, coworker and the only thing I loved more on this earth was my children. I don't know exactly when I noticed her slowing down, maybe last fall, just thought it was old age, im old to so it seemed natural. She had hipdsyplasia but it never seemed to clow her down. I put her on Cosequin DS maintiance level of 2 a day and she seemed great. As time went by she developed a limp. Last march  I noticed she was having trouble getting up my steps. I uped her meds to 3 a day and when that disn't help went to 4 a day. That disn't help. No way to get into our house without using steps so I had her a ramp built from the kitchen into the garage. She was sooo big around 110 pounds I was afraid she would get out in yard and give down and not be able to get her up. I am an old woman and live alone. Her walking was getting progressively worse although her apetite was still good, everything worked she was very alert and seemed normal laying down, had more and more trouble getting up and getting her bad leg under her. Still she always managed to be wherever I was. I moved her up to cosequin DS and in 5 days she could barely walk at all. I took her off that and went back to the cosequin ds 2 a day because that was what had helped her before and I didn't know what to do. 2 or 3 times during this time fram during march she woke me up during the night breathing really hard. I thought it was her leg hurting. I would lay with her and rub her and love on her and she would get better and we would go to sleep. I knew  I had to get her some help. It seemed to be all she could do to get from 1 room to the next. I still thought it was the arthisis in the bad leg. I have a bad knee myself and I knew how hard it was to naviagate sometimes. We are in a rural area and there are only 2 vets and only 1 does farm calls. He didn't want to treat her without a physical. I told him that Anna had never been off the farm and  I didn't have a way to get her to him. I begged him to help us.  I made an appointment with him to come to us.  Anna didn't like strangers, told him aobut the hpdysplasia and how she was not getting around didn't tell him about the breathing episodes because I thought it was all about the bad leg. She didn't want him close to her but he said there was a drug that had been very successful with arthritis and that would be worth a try we put her on prevocox. By that afternoon she was able to get up and was more mobile Throughout the next week she seemed to get better although she still had a ways to go. She didn't like the ramp so she still had to pick her way up the 2 steps into the house but she was able to do that. I had switched hr to desequil for large breed dogs and I was thinking that with time when the 2 meds got into her system she would be good. WE had just finished the first week of the prevocox. She seemed to be getting progressive better . Last Wednesday I had some things to do early that morning in town, I told her I was going to get us food and would be back kissed her and left. Got back and all was normal, had gotten a biscuit and bacon from one of the stores so I gave her a piece of my bacon, she took her meds and the day started. I had some computer stuff to do and she came in and laid down on her blanket. A litle later I went into the living room and she didn't come on in. I thought that was odd and then I heard a noise and went to check on her. She was laying there. I picked up her head and called her name but she was just limp. I laid with her and beggd her not to leave me but it was 2 late. Apparently she had had a massive heart attack. If I had told the vet about the breathing episodes he would have probably picked up that she had heart problems and would not have prescribed previcox which as I know now is not for dogs with heart problems. I had no idea she had heart problems, she seemed healthy except for the leg. I should have told him and we could have treated her for the heart problem. I let her down sooo bad. She loved me and trusted me and when it was soo important I let her down. My world is empty without anna. I want her back sooo bad. She is everywhere I look. Sometimes I can hear her. I dreamed this morning that I could hear her snoring. How could I have been so stupid. 

Carrieannie

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #2 
Hi do not put this onto.yourself you.did all you could.
I never knew my dog had phenomena or enlarged liver. She was perfect the day before on holiday running about having fun.
Then next night 2hrs it took from her losing life in all her 4 legs to being put to sleep.
Yes I cry lots but I do not blame myself for no one can see what goes on inside our pets body or our own we are not super human. You loved and cared for your pet the best anyone ever could had offered.
Be proud of what you did do.
X
cmartin04

Registered:
Posts: 73
 #3 
Thank you. I am so sorry for your loss. The evening before she passed Anna and I were out in the yard doing yard work and she was there with me. She was walking around and smeling at things in the grass, she rolled around and seemed to be sooo much better. I was sooo happy it seemed that the new meds were really working. She walked over to the fence and laid down out of the sun. I was afraid she would get 2 far from the door and she would get down and I wouldn't be able to get her back in due to her size. She was a mastiff/lab mix and weighed about  110  olb. We finished up pretty fast and went back in and the night went on and all seems well. Next morning all seemed normal. Noticed she was having a little more trouble walking but thought we might have overdone it the evening before. Other than that she seemed fine. She ate some of my bacon, was barking at the cat that got 2 close gave her her meds and all seemed good. Few minutes later I heard a noise and she had dropped dead. Like all of us miss our fur children I miss her sooo very much. Doesn't seem possible that she is gone.
 
twinkiesmom

Registered:
Posts: 837
 #4 
I was going to reply to your post when I first saw it but was taking care of my little 14 year old dog Piper in the last two days of her life. She was diagnosed with kidney disease 18 months ago and my vet never expected her to survive as long as she did. She was euthanized earlier today and my heart is broken but I promised her from the beginning I would never let her suffer. We had a wonderful life together. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Anna. It is never easy losing one we love, whether they go as quickly as Anna or when you expect it to happen as you watch their bodies slowly losing a battle you know they cannot win. We can both rest assured that they had a good life, well cared for and loved so very much. I am nearing 70 and am disabled as you are so Piper and I were rarely apart for very long. I have had many dogs during my life but Piper stole my heart the first moment I saw her. If you ever need anyone to listen when you are having a bad day or just need to talk, email me. It always helps to have someone to share with who understands your feelings. Take care my friend. I will be praying for healing of your heart.

Piper's mom
cmartin04

Registered:
Posts: 73
 #5 
So many memories today. Hurts sooo bad to be without her. I saw a rabbit in the field today and it just reminded me how much Anna used to love to chase the rabbits. I used to laugh and tell her she had saved us from the killer rabbit. 
Carrieannie

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #6 
HiMy memories are also triggered by images or smells or nice sunny daysHearing a dog barkMy thoughts which are triggered by my sad feelings I write them down or go and sit quietly alone.I take medication if it doesn't work.Some days my feelings of loss can last all day.Sometimes it comes in waves or out of the  blueNo matter where I am In a shop or who I am with. I carry sunglasses with me or my  normal glasses to hide my tears to stop attention being drawn to me.I distract myself listening to music wherever I go.Or pick up my phone pretend someone has called me if I see anyone going to appear to try to  chat with  me.I avoid reading sad stories Of others loss.I write letters to my pet in a journal to keep for memories that I may can read in future with no tears.I hug her teddy bear it wears her coat and collar. I am thinking of putting  her ashes inside the teddy as I cuddle it every night. When I am sad I hug it too.I talk to her every day.I feel her near me I talk to her too.In my imagination I can see her  beside me.I find it really hard not to cry or sit alone.She was with me everywhere. When I am overwhelmed with sadness I go to a place to be alone and hug her teddy.My emotions are real.they are heartbreaking. I do not fight them or give myself a hard time.I am kinder to myself. My sadness is with me everywhere and everyday.I do get mental health support slow due to covid 19I.feel this gives me less anxiety being I'm lockdown. I do not feel  pressure to walk the places we once walked.I do not know if I ever shall.I do know I would not get another animal as the pain of loss I cannot cope with. I am here if you  need a chatAnnie.
cmartin04

Registered:
Posts: 73
 #7 
I understand how you feel. Its a beautiful day here today and I can almost see my anna rolling in the grass. Like you I miss my girl soooo much. 

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