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poppy18

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Posts: 112
 #1 

My cat died yesterday. I can't stop crying. I miss him. I found him when he was about couple weeks old and had to feed him. He was my baby. He was only 18 months old. I hate walking in the house with him not here. I don't know what to do.

Sallie

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Posts: 263
 #2 
Poppy18, you have come to the right place. Keep on sharing with all of us. Your crying because your raw and your baby has gone to the bridge. It hurts so bad, really bad at first,and little by little I hear it gets better.  Time is on our side and we have great friends here. I will keep you in my prayers.  I cry when I walk in and my Buddy is not here, he use to always come to the door as I was coming in.  Peace my friend.  Share more when you can.
poppy18

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Posts: 112
 #3 

Thank you Sallie. I can't stand being home because he's not here. Can't stop crying to leave the house. I can't eat. I can't find anything to distract me from the pain.Had to leave work today because I couldn't handle it. I walk in and my baby is not here. Everything reminds of him. I couldn't sleep because he wasn't there. I didn't know it would hurt so bad.

AlandVal

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Posts: 81
 #4 
Poppy18, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. I lost my baby a week ago and my heart feels like it's been ripped out of me. But today was a little better than yesterday, yesterday was a little better than the day before... and I have to believe tomorrow will be a little better than today. I miss my sweet Val with all my heart, but I've found comfort from all the kind and understanding people on this site, and I hope you will too. 18 months is much too short a time to have together.

Alex
poppy18

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Posts: 112
 #5 

Thank you Alex. I'm so sorry for your loss. I just looked at pictures of my baby and the flood of tears started. I want him back so bad. I'm glad I found this site because people don't understand my hearts broken over cat.

Hilary

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Posts: 227
 #6 

Hi Poppy.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  So unfair to lose a dear pet so young.  Years ago my 18 mth old cat died so I know how you are feeling.  Time does heal but it will be so raw now.  It does get better.  Thinking of you.

Georgeann

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Posts: 2,245
 #7 
Dearest Poppy18:
I am so sorry that you lost your Precious baby.  The pain is just overwhelming.  I lost my Precious Rollo almost 4 months ago and I have not stopped crying since.  He was only 4 years old.  He died from a reaction to his first chemotherapy treatment.  These Precious Angels bring so much Joy into our lives and when they leave the Joy leaves with them.  I too hate going home as Rollo is not there to meet me as he was every day.  His sweet smile made every day so much easier for me.  Like you I cannot sleep and food nauseates me.   It is so hard in the beginning.  As time goes on the pain eases, but missing them lasts forever.  I wish there was something I could say to make this easier but unfortunately there is nothing.  This is a wonderful place filled with wonderful people.  We all understand and we are all here for you when you need us.

Sending Big Hugs
Georgeann and Rollo
poppy18

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Posts: 112
 #8 

Thank you for your support. You're going through your own pain and took the time to give me support. The thought of another night and day without my baby Poppy is ripping me apart. 

Lucky4Eternity

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Posts: 90
 #9 
Hi Poppy18. I share in your pain. 

Five months ago today my cat, Lucky, died at age 6 1/2. I'm a mess emotionally today and rare has been the day when I haven't shed a tear or more in sorrow. This love for our pets runs so deep with some of us and I know your agony in walking around, expecting to see but not finding your dear friend where they are supposed to be.  It seems cruel and unfair by any measure to lose a pet at such a young, not only to them but especially to us to whom they meant so much. 

I knew this would be difficult, but I never imagined that it would be THIS difficult. Keep sharing your pain. We understand it best of all. 


Sallie

Registered:
Posts: 263
 #10 
Poppy18, I ask that you be gentle with yourself while your in so much pain. Your tears help you and all of us heal. Like you the first several days, can't remember, I cried and cried and cried.  I still cry, but now have some down time between the tears. Some things set me off like coming in the door and Buddy not being here to run to me. That hurt that we get that hurts so bad that you feel you can't take it any more and you just want it to go away, that does show just how much we loved our baby.   I believe the more we love the more it hurts to say goodbye and depending on if we live alone verses having a family around us. I would give anything to hold my Buddy in my arms and rock him in the rocker again. In between my tears I try to function, sleep, etc. There is no easy answer to our grief it is unfortunately something we have to walk through to get to the other side, that being a level of peace where the good memories outweigh the bad and smiles and joy begin to fill our hearts again. When my husband died I crashed and burned for an entire year, I was a living zombie. Even with the knowledge I have with grief in relation to his death, each time we lose a loved one, human or furry child, we grieve.  I also saw a video by a psychologist in Australia I think.  He said that when grieving  for your pet and feeling bad  try to feel it and at the same time think of a good though or thing you did with your pet.  I tried it and it helps.  Grief settles in on us like a crashing elephant and leaves us so subtly.  So Poppy18, this is your full first day without your baby. Your going to cry, hurt, have trouble sleeping, etc. Hold on, gently ride this wave with us and let us be here for you. Together all things are possible in this life. I just know in my heart that if I had it to do all over again, I would still adopt my Buddy and take him home.  That love of 11 years is definitely worth a replay over and over even if I face pain at the end.  I am thinking of you and sending big time Hugs and many prayers my friend. I wish you a good night tonight and lots of peace between your tears.
bana

Registered:
Posts: 52
 #11 
i am so sorry for your loss, poppy18.  it is unbearable at first.  you think this is how you are going to feel for the rest of your life.  you wonder if you will ever be happy again.  but time does have its way of healing.  just be very patient with yourself and your emotions.  cry all you need to but be sure to drink plenty of water to replace those tears.    Sallie gave you such good advice that i can hardly add anything better.  just know you are not alone.. come here often and we will help as best we can.   {{{{{poppy18}}}}}
mytabbyboy

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #12 
Poppy, I know how awful it is to miss your little guy. You're at a loss as to what to do with yourself, and all of us here have gone through that.  And it's scary and it hurts and you wonder how you'll get through it all.  Just keep talking about it, keep feeling it, and although that's difficult sometimes, it does help.  My baby has been gone now for almost 10 weeks now and there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of him and have a good cry more often than not.  Take care of yourself.  ((((poppy))))
ShannonH

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Posts: 1,605
 #13 
I'm so sorry about your kitty...Its just not fair when it happens to one so young.  I remember how overwhelming the emptiness in the house is in those early days alone.  If you are able to at some point, tell us more about him.  He sounds like he must be a special boy.  Sometimes it can help just to share.  Know that we are here for you.
Shannon
poppy18

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Posts: 112
 #14 
Sallie, thank you so much. Finding this site as been the only good thing since my baby past away. Buddy and you were blessed to have one another.  My Poppy would greet me at the door also. Get in my face at bed time when I was trying to read a book. 
Lucky, you're right looking around and not finding our loving pets is very difficult. It's painful.
I was looking out the window and there was a black cat like my baby Poppy.
In my dazed and emotion state for a second I thought.......my baby! I'm thinking my grief is making me crazy. I just went outside to tell my baby goodnight and put a stone angel near him. Fresh tears running down my face.
Sallie, you're right that the hurt is so bad you just can't take it anymore. I would also take a replay of loving him only to face pain like this again.
Rebecca
poppy18

Registered:
Posts: 112
 #15 

You all are so wonderful, thank you! Shannon my baby was the king of the house . He could me orney one minute then want to be loving the next. He would do things that would have me laughing so hard I had tears running down my face. He would act so mad if his food bowl wasn't full. I can't imagine being without him. It is overwhelming empitness in the house. Keep waiting for him to come around a corner, hear his meow. It's unbearable.

WooWooWoo

Registered:
Posts: 5,100
 #16 
Poppy18, I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet kitty.  I know the pain you are feeling is so intense and raw right now.  Don't hesitate to come here as often as you need for support.  When you feel up to it, please tell us more about your little boy.  You will be in my prayers. 

((((Hugs))))

Melissa 
eaduggan

Registered:
Posts: 33
 #17 
Love, cuddles and peace to you Poppy18.  We lost our William (cat) this week and know how hard it is.  We have other cats, but you still look around the house for Bill and expect him to be here or there, or doing this or that - and then you remember......  Please take care.  Give yourself some time.  We are thinking of you.
Mare

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Posts: 11,059
 #18 
I am so sorry your precious kitty has passed on.  Losing a beloved pet at a very young age is extremely painful.  Our pets bring so much joy to our lives and we are truly lost when they pass on.  Had your kitty been ill for awhile?  My heart goes out to you as you mourn the loss of your little one.

Mare
precious Christoph ~ my sweet bunny boy ~

poppy18

Registered:
Posts: 112
 #19 

I can't stand the pain. I miss him so much.

Lucky4Eternity

Registered:
Posts: 90
 #20 
Here, here. There's nothing that prepares your for this kind of hardship, except maybe dealing with it the second time around. But I think a special fur kid will always hold a special place in our hearts. I know mine does.

Wishing you some peace of mind.
poppy18

Registered:
Posts: 112
 #21 

Another miserable day without my baby.

poppy18

Registered:
Posts: 112
 #22 

So miserable. I want my baby Poppy back!!!

poppy18

Registered:
Posts: 112
 #23 

Sun is shining and I don't care.

poppy18

Registered:
Posts: 112
 #24 

Madison is sad too she said she misses you but she keeps things inside. You two had your disagreements also but she loves you. We're all torn about you not being here. Your mommy.

mytabbyboy

Registered:
Posts: 159
 #25 
Poppy, I think the remark you made about the sun being out and not caring encapsulates how I felt after my cat died.  It seemed almost an outrage that life was going on everywhere and no one was noticing that life had obviously changed so much.  Keep posting, keep talking, grieve all you need to here.  It helps.  (((poppy)))
AlandVal

Registered:
Posts: 81
 #26 
poppy18, I also wish the sun would go behind a cloud. I hate that it's a holiday weekend and people are out having fun, while we're so miserable. I miss my baby boy so much. You're not alone.

I don't know if it will help you, but it helps me to look at pictures of my Val, it helps me remember all the happiness he gave me. It's also been helping me to write about him, not just here but on paper, about when I first got him, about what he was like, about what he liked doing. It helps me focus on how wonderful he was instead of dwelling on the end.

Day by day, it will get easier. Please try to believe that.

Alex
Darian

Registered:
Posts: 282
 #27 

I'm sorry about Poppy :(       It took me quite a while to accept that my young dog was gone and I was going to have to live my life without him.  Once you can reach the point that you "accept" what has happened,  you will begin to heal.   But we'll never stop missing them.  You're in alot of pain now,  but Poppy is peaceful.   I hope you can find something to distract you from the pain.   In my case, I know it sounds silly,  but I distracted myself with a t.v. series which I bought on dvd and kept playing over and over.  It was a comedy and I felt guilty about laughing at first, but then I realized I needed to get my mind away from the guilt and sadness.   I hope you're able to feel better again very soon.

poppy18

Registered:
Posts: 112
 #28 
Alex, so sorry about your baby Val.  I know what you mean about the holiday weekend. I was looking forward to the extra days off work. If I would of known it was going to be me mourning my baby I wouldn't of looked forward to it. Writing helps. I'm still unable to look at his pictures. Maybe, I should force myself. I hope it gets better because the pain is unbearable.
Darian, I tried movies but can't focus. I love to read but that hasn't helped.
You guys have helped the most. Thank you!
Maxpooh

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #29 
Last night I had to put my sweet orange tabby cat max down. He was only 2 yrs old, it was unexpected. The last couple of weeks he has lost so much weight sleeping all day and got so skinny he was only 7lb. I was expecting to bring him to the vet and hopefully get some medicine and vitamins than bring him back home in the same carrier I brought him there in. I ended up leaving with the carrier but not him in it,just his blanket we laid him to rest on. His lungs were full of fluid they were Pail white and he basically had about 3 more days to live. I'm so heart broken all I've done is cry ..today is hard because it's the first morning I'm waking up to a different routine, hes not at the edge of my bed sleeping in with me on a Sunday morning....he isn't waiting for me to wake up so ne can eat...he wont be sitting with me while I cook Sunday dinner...hes in heaven now. I miss him so much I can't even get out of my bed I feel like I dont want to continue my day without him here. I feel like it's not right to be happy and eating when he is not. My mom says I did the right thing by letting him pass peacefully at the vet....he would have suffered if I brought him home. Hopefully I feel at peace with his death soon. I love him so much. RIP max pooh.
Lucky4Eternity

Registered:
Posts: 90
 #30 
Hey MaxPooh. πŸ˜‰ It's been 8 years since I posted on this thread and I'm happy to report that I feel a lot better today than I did when my cat passed unexpectedly. And coincidentally, I wrote her name down today for something totally unrelated reason, then I get a notice from Petloss... I'll take that as a sign. πŸ˜‰

My suggestion is to treat your pain, your tears and your longing as a kind of tribute to the love you felt for your cat. That is really what it is, a kind of tribute to how deeply you were touched by your relationship with this animal companion.

I found it helpful to assist another cat in need. Luckily, one came along at the right moment and that brought me newfound joy and a focus for my loving attention. It didn't make the pain of loss disappear any faster, but it helped me to express my love for another animal that needed it.

I hope you have a gentle grief process, but realize, it does take a while and if others fail to understand, it's just because they have no idea what it feels like to "feel" at this level. It's true, some people don't understand because...they don't understand.

All the best to you.
Lucky4Eternity
Chatnoir

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #31 
Just put my five year old girl down. It’s really hard and it takes time to work through the grief. Respect your grieving, feel all the feelings, and find ways to honor the love you had for your cat.

I am sorry you are here and missing your kitty. You did fo the right thing, hard as it was. ❀️
Julianne

Registered:
Posts: 28
 #32 
To Maxpooh and Chatnoir, Yes I understand your feelings too. I lost my little girl this morning about 9 hours ago. I had to let her go also. Perhaps that is the most compassionate gift we can give our fur babies. While the tears flow and my heart aches, I know I did the right thing to relieve her suffering and that we will meet again in another life. The love is just too strong and intense to die - it will remain forever.  One of the lessons is to pay that deep love forward, and I realize that love is the only thing that truly matters in this world. 
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