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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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Posts: 154
Hey guys. I haven't been here in a while. This board got me through my loss a year and a half ago. It was vital in saving my sanity. And now, I am so afraid that I will need it again.

A couple weeks ago I found a lump near one of the nipples of my 9 year old cat Myer. I immediately scheduled an appointment at her vet. The vet found it to be a tumor and she removed it that very day. The results a week later were that the tumor was in fact malignant, but it had "very clear margins" and showed no signs of being in the lymph nodes or blood. However, the vet was concerned at the rapidity of growth. On her advice, we have an appointment with an oncologist September 5th. For the purposes of more info and treatment options.

Of course, I have made the mistake of Googling. What a mistake. I have overwhelmed myself with information and thus have worried myself sick. I had no idea that mammary cancer in cats was so aggressive and so deadly. The future is grim, even with a positive prognosis.

I am terrified. The watching and waiting and rubbing to feel more lumps and the anxiety and the hopelessness and then the positivity and the assuredness that we can beat it and then it all starts over again.

She's healthy now. It's only been a couple weeks since I found the lump and it was removed. She's eating, she's playing, she's her normal self. But I feel as though I am already beginning the grieving process. That her time with me is tainted by this evil, evil disease and the damage it will wreak.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to maintain.

Any words of wisdom? Any experience?
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