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BeausDad

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Posts: 2
 #1 
Hello everyone,

  I am going to give a little bit of history so you can better understand what is going on. Six years ago I adopted the most amazingly handsome puppy. A dachshund jackrussel mix. Three months after bringing Beau home, he had his first seizure. We have gone through weeks where we were having runs of 15-16 seizures in a week, broken nails that have caused him to bleed for six to eight hours, and wild behavior swings through all the seizures. We have finally come to a good spot with medication and a food that has helped with his cognitive functioning.

  Three months ago i started to notice that his patterns were changing and I could not pin down what was going on. After a panel of tests, we found out that he has a tumor on his pancreas. Due to his epilepsy surgery is not an option and also because it is the pancreas. The vet has told me that it could be two months to five years before he goes. 

 Here is what is bothering me. Beau has never been a complainer. Even when he has been at his worst he has not cried or complained. He always takes everything into stride and just rolls with his life. We have been having seizures about once every two weeks, which is a major increase in activity. He has been showing some aggression after his seizures and the vet has told me that this could be a sign of brain damage. Think of the brain injuries that football players get. So his personality could change. One day he could be my sweet little boy and then  the next he could be mean and aggressive. I worry because I have another pup to think of, and I don't want Beau to suffer. 
 
  I just don't know what to do. I am afraid of pulling the trigger to soon or not at the right time. I just need to know that there are people out there that know what I am going through and can maybe give me some advice. Thank you for listening and I offer my love and support to anyone that has lost their pup. It is a truly horrible experience.
kenzcookie

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Posts: 10
 #2 
That must be awful to see him go through. Whatever you do will be for the best, but if I were to make a choice, I would just wait a little. See if there are any changes, cherish every second with him. You know your pup the best. I’m wishing you all my love. ♥♥
PoisonIvy

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Posts: 60
 #3 
My previous dog had a tumor in her mouth (fibrosarcoma).  I chose to not have it treated because the treatment likely would have been very arduous and definitely would have been very expensive.  Willa was 11, and I didn't want her last months to be spent sick and sad from radiation.  

All the vets who saw Willa advised that I have her euthanized eventually, rather than let her die "naturally."  So I spent much of the time during her final five months of life wondering about making the euthanasia decision and how I would know when the right time was.  It definitely wasn't easy.  As Willa's tumor grew, it started to bother her, although not all the time.  I finally realized a few things:  She wasn't going to "tell me" when the time was right. And there was no one day or time that would be 100% right, because doing it before she showed any evidence of pain or suffering didn't seem humane and doing it any time after she first started showing evidence of pain or suffering meant that, obviously, she was already being affected by the tumor. 

A few things that were important to me were that the euthanasia be done at home, that I would not have to go to work on that day or the next day, and that the procedure would not be done on an emergency basis.  All these required me to plan and to force myself to err on the side of "too soon" instead of "too late"; I really didn't want to have my hand forced by something terrible happening (in Willa's situation, bleeding, not being able to eat, choking, not being able to breathe). 

I'm not going to lie:  I was very sad and stressed for the last month or two of Willa's life, and a wreck once I called the home euthanasia service and made the appointment.  But I was also relieved at making the decision and at being strong enough to want to spare Willa more physical pain, even if it meant me suffering emotional pain. Our last few days together were very special.  I cried so much when she died but I think I gave her a "good" death.
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #4 
I am so sorry that you have to experience such a dreadful decision for you baby. I agree that maybe giving it just a little more time with Beau might help. I pretty much did what Willa's mom did regarding Termy. Each of us has to look deep inside and do what we feel is best for our babies despite the pain we know we will go through. Termy had seizures too but his were not as bad and it was really hard to watch and feel so helpless but father time caught up with my boy and his quality of life wasn't the best so I let him go. Cherish every moment and enjoy the time you both share.
Sending my compassion and understanding
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
JackieTeller

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Posts: 228
 #5 
Hi Beau's Dad, 

All I can offer is my condolences to your suffering and Beau's.  I recently lost my beloved Jack Russell, Rosie, to congestive heart failure.  Jack Russell's are not complainers.  I gave Rosie permission to go to the Rainbow Bridge (we had a talk...I had her for 16 years.)  

For me, I had to look at Rosie's quality of life, which was poor in the past year.  I had to look at am I keeping her alive for me?  What was best for Rosie?  

It sounds like your little Beau has been through alot.  We don't want our children to suffer.  I have cried a river of tears over the passing of my sweet Rose but, in the end, she was ready and I had to let her go.

I AM NOT advocating putting him down.  It is sad because he sounds like a young dog.  Pray about it and continue on this board and the answer will come.  

In the end, I know Rosie was ready to go home and when I gave her permission, the next morning she had a massive cardiac crises (after bringing her home from the vet less than 2 days before).  

I say a prayer for you and Beau.  Enjoy what time you have but in the end it is always heart-wrenching.

Rosie's Mom (Jackie)

BeausDad

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #6 
Hello everyone,
Wednesday afternoon my boy left me. He began having seizures at 11pm Tuesday night and continued to have them every two hours. I knew that this was the beginning of the end and that if I wanted I could get meds that would stop the seizures, but this was the first time he had been really effected by the seizures. When he fell of the couch and cut his lip I knew it was time. I took him to my vet and showed her a video of his seizure and she agreed. He went peacefully sitting in my lap and I told him what a good boy he was and how much I loved him.
The really cool thing is, that Monday before this all started I had a dream about my stepmother. She passed when I was 18 and we were really close. We were sitting at a table talking and she told me everything would be ok. I had thought she was talking about the new job I was starting that Monday but now I know she was telling me that she was going to take care of my boy. Wednesday morning when I was making my coffee I looked up and saw a cardinal sitting outside my back door and I knew that was my mom showing me that she was with me. I Wednesday night i took a bunch of Beau’s blankets to the trash(I kept one but could not stand to see the others in the house) and when I put the lid down, on the fence were 4 cardinals. One of them had the same red brown coloring as my beautiful pup. In that moment I knew that my family members that had passed before me came to guide my boy home, and that he was showing me that he was ok. It gave me a great sense of peace.

I want to thank everyone that gave me advice and helped me through this process. I feel that I made the right decision. My vet told me that with my love and care that I had gotten Beau an extra year and a half. So my pup may have had a short life but it was a good one. Thank you all again.
Love from Beau’s dad
JackieTeller

Registered:
Posts: 228
 #7 
Dear Beau's Dad, 

You were a wonderful daddy to Beau.  He is smiling down at you from the Rainbow Bridge.  It is hard to make the decision to let them go.  I had always hoped Rosie would go peacefully in her sleep but that didn't happen.  In the end, she was in my loving arms as she ascended to the Rainbow Bridge.

Rosie will be there to greet Beau also.  She was a little spitfire in her heyday and I love her so much.  You made the right choice.  Years ago I had a little yorkie named Ginger.  Ginger had kidney failure.  I kept that dog alive an extra year and a half with dialysis (yes, you can do it at home), special diet and she did come back around for a few months.  But then she went downhill and wouldn't eat.  I kept that poor dog alive because I couldn't bear to part with her and in the end, had to have her euthanized.  I waited too long and I told myself then that I would never make a dog suffer like that again.  

You made the right choice.

Rosie (and Ginger's) mama

Jackie
Frane

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #8 

BeausDad,

I was going through something similar just a couple of days ago - I was facing the same dilemmas. In the end, just like you, I opted for euthanasia. And just like you, I had the same "signs talking to me" two days after my baby was put to sleep (check my post).

One can never tell what they really mean - but they somehow made me more at peace with the whole thing (In all honesty, I doubt I'll ever be able to completely let go)..again, just like with you. 

Quite amazing to find others going through the "miracle" phase as well.

I'm very sorry for your loss - but at the same time, I'm happy to see some sort of closure as well. Stay strong and positive!

Best, Frane

Stillmaudesmom80

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #9 
I'm so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you made the right decision and Beau had a good Dad. That was cool about your dream and the cardinals. Best wishes.
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