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Callum1993

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Posts: 2
 #1 
Wendesday morning I lost my beautiful sibeiran husky Bella. She was 6 years old and out of know where on her morning walk she had a heart attack. I rushed her to the vet hospital willows but they could not bring my baby back. I feel like I've lost apart of me which I'll never get back. I can not stop crying doesn't matter what I do every where I go I just feel like I can see her. All I have in my head is her liying there after all of this happend cold. My family are all heart broken but I can't reach out to them as I feel like I'm making them feel worse. Im heartbroken and all I want is my dog back. I don't know how to get through this I'm scared It won't ever get better. The only time I feel abit of comfort is when I think about giving another dog a good home but then I don't want my angel in the sky to think I'm replacing her because she can't be replaced I just don't know to accept any of this. My grandparents both died this year and I don't know why but the pain I feel for my dog is so much worse my best friend has gone. I feel broke and I'm so sad I can't even leave my house. Please if any one has any advice of how to help me get through this it will be much appreciated.
MossimoLove

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Posts: 42
 #2 
Callum,  im so sorry for your sudden loss. my heart is with you in this difficult time.  I found this place much like you, in the aftermath of shock and a crippling depth of grief. There are never the right words to say at these times, other than, i understand, i am here with you in your pain, you are not alone.  

Grief is one of those things that never has instructions or a schedule, but what i do know is that we all feel the weight of the loss of a dear loved one, just as you for your beloved Bella. Your love is so evident in your words, please continue to come here, share your heart and let us help bear witness to your deep bond and love. I am here to support you during this time.   

And dont judge yourself too much for wanting to rescue another dog, some of us need that companionship to channel our grief into love.  I am one of those people that needs the companionship to help me weather this storm as much as it created an internal conflict of emotions.   If you need anything, please feel free to message. My love, support and lightness to you, Bella, your family and all that loved her. 

Take care, be gentle with yourself, go at your own pace, we are here for you. Mossimo's mom - anastacia
Callum1993

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Posts: 2
 #3 
Thank you so much for your reply anastacia. It means alot that there are people out there that will take the time to help others they don't even know.
SmileyMyLove

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Posts: 19
 #4 
Thank you for sharing your story. Means a lot. My mind is also a movie reel of seeing him all the time.
celesteri

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Posts: 1
 #5 
Hi Callum...I too can understand your feelings. My poor boy has been gone for two months now and I still have the same feelings as you. I think of him all the time and look at other dogs that I could rescue,only to feel guilty that Im trying to replace him....which could never happen. The pain is worse than when I lost my Mum and Dad and it feels hard to talk to anyone because they simply can't understand the true level of loss we are feeling. I find places like this are a great start to help with our healing without feeling silly for caring so much for an animal. Places like this bring me some comfort knowing people like you and I can share and relate what we are going through and hopefully be the strength for each other to find a way to come to terms with our loss.

I found doing little things like having a special place for him with a photo and a led candle on 24/7 makes me feel like he is still with me. I also got a personalised pillow of my boys face so that I could cuddle him when I went to sleep...especially since he slept in my bed with our other dog.....and I got a name tag with his name and the years on it to wear as a pendant on a necklace so I could carry him with me always.

Perhaps doing some things like this may help you deal with all these emotions. I can't say for sure if they helped me enitrely but they definately didn't do any harm. Having pictures and pillows around that allow me to see his face,somehow comforts me that he is still with me.
Perhaps the same may apply to you and Bella.

Take care xx

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