Registered: 1212944938 Posts: 1
Here's a picture of my little man, Toonces, the loss of whom is what's brought me to this site....
http://www.petloss.com/mbphotos3/toonces.jpg Toonces was my 15 year old "no-so-much-a-normal-cat" companion. I met him at a shelter when he was only 3 days old, and knew he was the one for me. He was my wedding present from my new husband. Toonces was the runt of the litter whose mom didn't much attend to. I visited him for six weeks until i could bring him home - we definitely bonded from the beginning - even when i visited him with his litter mates - and he knew i'd be his mommy. We shared many treasured years of love and affection.... He was incredible with his vibrant spirit... he definitely thought he was a "people" rather than a feline. He followed me around like a dog might and hugged me (literally) with his front paws around my neck, face nestled in my hair, purring loudly and loving me. He was truly one of a kind. He was a popular visitor at our vet's office, he would "help out" by hanging out at the reception area when he was boarded there when our family went out of town. He made himself everyone's pal and loved to be held, snuggled, and on top of whatever anyone was trying to work on. His human girlfriends at the vet miraculously saved his life 3 1/2 years ago when his liver shut down (quit eating as his belly was full of ponytail holders and ribbons after years of feasting on stray items), and he went from 16 pounds to 4 pounds. We nearly lost him during that struggle but somehow our little man found the strength and drive to recover completely from that ordeal (eventually even gaining all that snuggly weight back!), after weeks of feeding him through a tube in his neck and loads of nurturing by our family and his vet friends. This time, though, he battled a couple of months of treating a bladder infection (first using oral medication and eventually twice daily injections) that simply would not heal. We finally made the decision that his existence had become too painful to ask him to continue to fight it. On May 27, we made the hardest decision ever and released him from our world into the loving arms of our Lord, with the kind and gentle assistance from his trusted advocates at his vet office. He was resting comfortably in my arms when he passed and he relaxed and seemed somehow to know he was going somewhere better as he failed to react to my very emotional display of deep sorrow and despair. He simply laid in my arms and let go as the doctor gave him medication to allow him his final release. He went quickly and painlessly. As this community is painfully aware, our family is grieving deeply. Our dog and surviving cat both clearly miss him, and after nearly two weeks, they've finally stopped searching the house for him. My husband and daughter are both coping bravely with this loss. Thank God our daughter has been graceful enough to understand the concept of letting go of someone you love so much when they're hurting and we know it won't get better no matter how much we hope and pray for it. I am having a hard time of it, knowing we did the right thing but constantly fighting that nagging "what if" thought that keeps making me (privately) question our decision. Again, intellectually I KNOW we did the most loving, humane thing we could do, but wow that is hard to hold onto when you feel so lonely for the little man who was such a HUGE part of our daily lives and whose memory is vivid in every portion of our home. I miss him dearly and am so grateful for the amazing 15+ years we had of his amazing companionship. What a blessing Toonces was to us and we'll someday think of him without the still-sharp pain.... but how long does that take!? Thanks for listening to my long, long story... it took me a few days to be able to come here and emotionally be able to deal with sharing my story - but i know if anyone understands, this community does. Reading the other stories of loss on this site has helped me and comforted me to know i'm not alone - and i've shared in the grief of so many others on this site..... thanks to all of you for sharing.. Hugs to you all as we share in this loss... ~holly
Registered: 1198872932 Posts: 1,205
My deepest condolences to you Holly and your family
I am so sorry for your loss, he sounds like an amazing little man. I am so glad that you found the courage to hold your dear boy in his last moments on earth, he felt your deep love for him always you know. I have always been with my babies when they have been pts, but I know, not everybody can deal with those last memories. I have to do it as I know I would regret deeply not being there for them. I know because I had two of my little feline girls, die in road accidents, and I felt so much worse, because I hadnt been there at the end. I know how much you are hurting, he was your dear boy. I am thinking of you, and your family. Your story of Toonces life was so sweet, although I know it must have taken a lot for you to write. Much love Di, may you soon find peace....xxx
Registered: 1182807878 Posts: 536
Holly, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your sweet precious Toonces. Toonces was a very handsome boy. Your Toonces will be forever in your HEART. I too know how hard it is to lose a precious furkid. I lost my NIKKI on June 26th,2007 to lymphoma cancer and kidney failure at the age of 16yrs+. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time of grief. Lots of ((((((((((((((((HOLLY&TOONCES))))))))))))))))))))). He knows how much you loved him and he too loved you. THERE ARE NEVER ANY GOODBYES,ONLY WELL WISHES, TILL WE SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN. WHEN YOU MEET AGAIN THATS ALL THAT WILL MATTER. THE TIME BETWEEN WILL BE JUST A DISTANT MEMORY, AND NOT WORTH THINKING ABOUT. IT WILL BE AS IF NO TIME HAS PASSED......... Again i'm so sorry for your loss of TOONCES. Much love Terri, may you soon find peace.... xoxoxox (((((((((hugs)))))))))))). Take care, Terri(UWHusky-Nikki'sMom)