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marcyzombi3

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Posts: 10
 #1 
It’s been 3 days since we let Tepito go into doggy heaven. People are asking if I’m “okay” and it’s such a hard thing to answer. I miss him so much and I feel like me saying I’m “ok” might sound like I’ve moved on and I haven’t! Has anyone ever dealt with this? Or when you meet up with a friend again after and you almost don’t care about what they’ve been up too because you have so much grief? It’s just weird getting back into society with that heavily on your mind.
Miasmomma

Registered:
Posts: 11
 #2 
I understand. 100%. I'm trying desperately to get back to "normal"... getting back to my routine. But nothing is normal. I'm trying like Hell to hold it together, but inside, I'm just SCREAMING. I'm not okay. It feels like it will never be okay again. I'm battling as hard as I can with everything I have in me not to let the voices of doubt and regret and shame knock me down, but they are SO loud. Every time I have even the slightest moment of peace and I think that maybe, just maybe, things are starting to improve, it all comes crashing down again and knocks me over. I want her back... so bad. It feels like the only thing that will help is snuggling her again. I feel so helpless... hopeless. :(
marcyzombi3

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #3 
Miasmomma,

I know what you mean. I had a trip to LA to visit friends already planned and it kinda helps to be with them because they have a dog they love and cherish and they understand. I constantly have Tepito on my mind. I miss his paws making noise throughout the house and looking for him when I wake up or calling my mom when I’m out of town to see how he’s doing. It’s just so hard. Life feels like there’s a huge void. Something isn’t right ...
Miasmomma

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Posts: 11
 #4 
I understand. So much. My Mia's bark was SO full of joy and excitement. The house is so quiet without that, now. The silence is deafening. I didn't realize how quiet my other two dogs are by comparison. I miss her happy face... her smile. I miss the cute little noises she'd make when I came home and went to give her snuggles. She made me feel like the most important thing to her in the world, and I just feel lost without that bond.

My head is spinning. I feel like I can't breathe. It's SO hard to believe that I made the right decision when it hurts this bad. :(
cosesmom

Registered:
Posts: 465
 #5 
Tepito's mom,
Give it time, 3 days is still "feeling like forever" It'll take time, believe me. It's been over 18 months and I still mourn my loss. Termy has been gone for a long time and I still cry and can't talk about him to others with out choking up. Your never going to be okay anymore. You will have better days months from now. Little by little you will start to feel better. The time line for feeling better is different for everyone. One day you will start to remember the journey you shared with Tepito and all those things that made life with him so very special. I stayed in a very dark place for over 6 months and only wanted to be with Termy and nothing else mattered but then I understood that someday I will be with him again. You will move on but it will be a different normal. There will be times that remembering him will crush you and then there will be times when you will smile as the tears run down your face as you remember something that he did that endeared him self to you. We all make a decision based on what we knew at the time and we made it with our head because if it was to be made with our hearts we may have never let go. We did it for them, out of love and nothing more. Be gentle with yourself and cry as much as you need to. I understand and I am sending you my support and understanding.
love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
marcyzombi3

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #6 
cosesmom,

Yes to everything you said. Thank you so much. Likewise I’m sending you support and doggie hugs. <3
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