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arbitrary

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Posts: 4
 #1 
11 months ago I adopted Dozer, an energetic, loving and very rowdy bulldog mix. He died very suddenly last night, he wasn't even 2 and a half years old.

I was never a dog person, but Dozer was different, he was like a dog version of me.  Nothing made him happier than being in my company, he followed me everywhere and he was so enthusiastic for life. Every single day since I got him he would wake me up every morning, greet me at the door after work and sit my bed at night until I fell asleep.  He was very reactive and had a lot of behavioural problems when I adopted him but he had made amazing progress; he had dog friends now, his prey drive was mildly under control, he was less impulsive.  Most dogs and their owners didn't like him because he was rough around the edges outside, but they had absolutely no idea what a sweetheart he was at home.

He was extra snappy towards other dogs these days and I noticed he was getting out of breath really fast. I figured it was just the heat so I would take him out after dark and planned on seeing the vet in August. Otherwise he was perfectly healthy.  On a walk yesterday he got very excited after seeing another dog and tried to jump towards him.  After that he started wheezing.  A few minutes later he was vomiting.  I thought he was choking on a treat I gave him but nothing was in his mouth. I had to pick him up and walk him to my car. He wouldnt drink water.  He hates drives and panicked in the car and pooped all over himself.  He was starting to turn blue and was panicking like I've never seen before. I got to the emergency clinic and the entire staff dropped everthing and took him to the back and sedated him.  I heard the worst noises I've ever heard from him while I waited.  The vet came and got me after an eternity and explained that he was suffering from a very severe bracheocyphalic airway obstruction syndrome attack and that his chances were slim, and even if he survived there would be chance of it reoccuring if he wasn't kept calm. There wouldn't be any more playing, walks, playdates, or excitement for Dozer.  The amount of pain he was in was just excruciating. I had to make the decision to put him down.

I was there for his last moments.  He was looking up at me in my eyes.  He knew exactly what was going to happen as he looked at me with sadness for one last time.  His eyes closed and that was the last I ever saw of Dozer. I've never had a friendship so pure and I'm really grateful for the time I was able to spend with him, but I miss him so much it hurts.

This morning I woke up to nothing. After work I came home to nothing. My apartment is as vacant as my heart.
EliseT

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Posts: 2,160
 #2 
I am so sorry for your loss of Dozer so suddenly and at such a young age. He sounds like such a fun loving pup and if he had lived, it doesn't sound like his quality of life would have improved over time and he wouldn't have been able to be himself. You did the kindest thing you could do, letting him go and he knows how much you loved him.

It has been 10 months since my boy passed and his passing was harder emotionally than any human I have ever lost. It takes time and a lot of tears but one day, you'll think of Dozer and realize you're smiling a little, because you've just remembered something fun you did together or something special about him.

Sending hugs of comfort your way,

Elise, Buddy's mom
JCo

Registered:
Posts: 13
 #3 
arbitrary, 
I can sense the depth of the love you feel for Dozer, and I am certain that he appreciated that and still does. What a sudden and unexpected tragedy, I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost my 15 year old boy, and its has been extremely difficult, but I'm sure the suddenness of this makes it even more traumatic. You had no choice and you did the humane thing. Sometimes when we see our pets suffering we wish we could take on their pain to relieve them of it; I think that choosing euthanasia is a way we do that. Praying that you find peace. xo
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