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LaylaForeverinmyHeart

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Posts: 8
 #1 
It has been a month exactly today since I had to make the most toughest decision I ever had to make to let my Layla go. She was my whole life. Layla would have been 15 years old on July 23rd. I had her since she was 3 months old. I was 19 when I got her and I honestly don’t know life without her. She was my first baby and always will be. She was always so strong and hyper, so full of life and loving. She just had this amazing personality, she wasn’t your typical dog. She was like a person, understood everything and wanted to always be apart of everything we did. She loved going on car rides to the boardwalk and she loved cheese. She was always heathy, little problems here and there but nothing major. She lost her hearing about a year ago but that didn’t seem to effect her much. Then in February, she developed a cough, the vet gave her antibiotics which seemed to help a bit but then the cough came back. It didn’t seem to bother her much so we didn’t think too much of it. She was a puggle so she always sneezed and coughed when she got excited. Plus she always had allergies. But then the cough started sounding worse and that’s when we took her back to the doctor. He referred her to get a chest x-ray to rule out CHF. The x-ray showed that other than a heart murmur, her heart was fine but her left lung wasn’t. The vet said the lung appeared white on the x-ray but they couldn’t see exactly what was going on unless they did more invasive testing that required anesthesia but considering her age, he decided to give her antibiotics and steroids and bronchodilators to treat it as an infection and in two weeks come back to see if it got better. At first, she seemed a bit better but quickly took a turn for the worse. Not only was she coughing more all day long, she started having problems sleeping at night, would cry and bark and pace back and forth. Every night seemed worse and worse. She was also panting even when just laying down, so you could see she was stressed and having difficulty breathing. Her coughing started coming in spasms and she couldn’t stop until we gave her a cough drop to lick. Her last night, she didn’t even want the cough drop anymore which she always liked to lick. It’s like she was giving up. That morning, she just laid there and I knew it was time. She didn’t even want to eat (even though she was on the steroids which made her really hungry the days before). I didn’t want her to suffer, I wanted her to have her dignity as the day before she was still eating and walking. I stayed with her the whole time, I don’t even know how I survived that, I was hysterical but I would never forgive myself if I didn’t. She passed away while I was holding her in my arms. I have such regrets now thinking back that I should have kissed her as it was happening but everything happened so fast, I didn’t even realize it. I mean I kissed her so many times that morning and at
the vet while waiting for him to come in the room but still. I hope she knew how much I loved her and that if I could do anything to save her I would. I would give up anything for her to be here. I also second quess myself and feel like maybe I should have waited being that she was still eating and walking. Not a day goes by that I haven’t cried and talked to her. I miss her so much. It’s like I lost my first baby, the pain is unbearable.

Well today morning I asked for a sign and later was driving and saw a beautiful rainbow. It was so big and I saw it for the majority of my ride. I hope it was my sweet girl telling me that she’s okay 🙏

Thank you so much for reading, I love this forum, I read it every night, it really helps me to feel that I am not alone. Praying for everyone and their fur babies. May God give us strength during this difficult time 🙏

I love you my Layla girl, always and forever! Until we meet again my sweet angel.

07/23/2005-06/11/2020
Layla
Always in my Heart 💔🙏🌈
InmemoryofRuby

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Posts: 5
 #2 
I have had two heart dogs named Layla in my life. A beautiful Dalmation, and a self rescued Yellow Lab mix. I can’t use that name again as the heartbreak whenever I thin of either of them is awful. This past week I had to walk my Ruby to the Rainbow bridge. She was a 13 year old English Cream Mini Dachshund and the love of my life. Like you, I held her the while time crying and kissing her, hoping and praying she knew how very very much I loved her. She had a brain tumor that first blinded her and then eventually caused dementia that turned her in to basically a eat & sleep autopilot dog. Nothing was left of her personality but she seemed pain free and accepting so I continued in until she started wimpering too often for no reason. I couldn’t take any chance that she might be in pain. Hugs to you, every one here knows your pain and grief.
BeansMoM

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #3 
I bet that rainbow was her. Mine passed a month ago too, and I've seen several black butterflies since her passing. She was a black lab. When I see them i talk to them like they are her. I believe our babies are still around. Sending hugs
LaylaForeverinmyHeart

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #4 
InmemoryofRuby and Beansmom, I am very sorry for both of your losses. Thank you so much for responding to my post. It really helps to know that people understand how I feel. I really do pray that our babies could see us and give us more signs. What I would do to have more time with my girl, I would give anything and everything 💔
LaylaForeverinmyHeart

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #5 
Hi my girl, I miss you more than ever. I went to the beach today to get my mind off things and saw a yellow butterfly. I am hoping this was another sign from you. I have never seen a yellow butterfly before, it was beautiful. I love you so much my Layla girl, my heart feels empty without you💔😢
LaylaForeverinmyHeart

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #6 
Hi my beautiful Layla girl ❤️ Happy Birthday my sweet angel, you would have been 15 today and today marks 6 weeks since I seen your beautiful face and your precious big eyes. I miss you so much. I hope you got the balloons with the messages we sent for up for you. We also lit up a memorial candle in your memory. I wish you were here so I could buy you a bunch of toys like I used to. You used to get so excited. I hope you’re excited and celebrating up there. It hurts so much to not be next to you and kiss you and hold you. I hope you know that we all love you and miss you forever. And you are always in our hearts and in our family and in our home. Till we meet again Layla girl 💔🌈😢
LaylaForeverinmyHeart

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #7 
Hi my beautiful angel, it’s 7 weeks today since I last saw you. My heart is broken and I miss you more and more each day. You were and will always be my everything. I love you and miss you so much my Layla girl. You’re always in my heart. Until we meet again my sweet angel.
Benji

Registered:
Posts: 4
 #8 
It’s so hard to say good bye to the animals we loved. This marks my six week anniversary. We will always miss them at least they are not suffering
LaylaForeverinmyHeart

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #9 
I am so sorry for your loss. Yes we definitely will miss the always and forever 😢
LaylaForeverinmyHeart

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #10 
Hi my sweet baby girl, it’s 2 months today since I last held you in my arms and looked into your beautiful big eyes. I miss you more and more each day. I cry every single day. I’d give anything to see you again. I love you so much, it hurts so bad 💔. You will never be alone because you have a big piece of my heart. I will always love you and keep you in my heart. I love you my precious Layla girl, always have and always will 🙏😢💔
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