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Medved

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Posts: 3
 #1 
A week ago, 8 am, I put my best friend of 15 years to sleep.  We've lived in many states, crossed the country, been two both coasts and oceans.   I don't remember a time before him.

I keep reliving the last two days, it all went so fast, I did not even spoil him and its killing me.

The night before he was sleeping, so peaceful, I lay next to him.   The next day we woke up at 6 am, I gave him extra pain meds, water and carried him to some grass in front of my apartment.   Stayed with him there for 20 minutes, a friend bulldog stopped by to say hello. At 6:30 I carried him into my car and we went for a ride.   Stopped by our favorite park at 7:00.    He never got out of the car, but I backed up to grass and opened rear door so he could watch squirrels and other dogs.   7:40 we drove to the vet.

I tried to help him stand up, but he couldn't.  I carried him from the car to in front of vet door.

Vet came out and said they are ready for us.   Told us to the same room we've been going for the past three years.

Vet came in and explained what would happen, I was barely holding back tears.    They gave us a few minutes.   He was laying down, his head between his front paws, not afraid.

Vet came in, gave him an injection into his rear leg, he closed his eyes and his head slumped over his paw, vet checked his heart stopped and left.   I broke down, vet left us alone to say good bye.   After 5 minutes I noticed he was breathing.  His nose was wet when I checked, he was breathing.

The vet came back, checked his heart and it was still beating.  He brought another syringe and made an injection into his front left paw.   After 30 seconds he stopped.   He was a big boy, fighting till the last breath.  I gave him my last patt on the back, stood up and left.


The past week has been a blur, i no longer have a reason to go back to my apartment.   I still have all the toys, the food bowls, his food, leashes.   I can't touch them. My life revolved around him for past several years and I don't know how to live without him.

His rear legs stopped working months ago, I carried him with help of a harness.  Decision to end it came fast, his front legs stopped working and he could not get up.   I carried him outside for two days, hoping he would bounce back, he always did in past.  More pain medication did not help.   Nothing I tried helped.

I miss him so much.




pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #2 
Oh MedVed, I am so very sorry. He was at peace becaus he felt your presence and love. Again, I am so very sorry.

Raiders mom
Whippitless

Registered:
Posts: 9
 #3 
Medved, i am so sorry for the loss of your friend. Reading your story is easy to draw so many parallels to my own that happened 5months ago. I do understand what your going through. Like yours, mine was my best friend & closest confidant. We, too had been all over the (eastern half)this country, went thru lots of "life stuff" together.
1 week is still so fresh, I guess it would be hard to expect the loss of such a friend to be anything but.
In time, the feelings that youll always carry with you about your friend will eventually allow you to spend more time looking back with gratitude & fondness instead of the despair & grief that currently fills the void(?) that you currently & undoubtedly must be going thru. Allow these feelings to run their course, & resist the urge to try speeding up the process. Its weird, for myself, it seemed the more I felt the need to "get over it", the longer the grief stuck around. Once I allowed these valid feelings to exist, they seem to then run their course & outlive their usefullness more quickly. Give it some time, it does get better...
Again, so sorry for your loss.
pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #4 
MedVed,
I am so very sorry for your loss. It hurts in a way no one can understand until they have been. I hate that you had to put your baby down. Sweet boy can walk now. Many thoughts.

Raider’s mom
Dogsarepeopletoo

Registered:
Posts: 106
 #5 
I am so sorry for your loss. Our dog also lost use of his legs and the end was the same.

I am a few weeks ahead of you — it gets a bit easier to cope as time goes on. A bit. It is so difficult when they are such a beloved part of your life.,

I like to think that both of our dogs are running happily.

Take care.
pb313

Registered:
Posts: 104
 #6 
I agree. Our babies are happy and running. Well my Raider is playing tug of war probably with my dad.
Medved

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #7 
Thank you.  I remember the time when he used to run, chase deer, turkeys in Florida.   We used to run for 2+ hours, he had so much energy.

A thought of him chasing turkeys and running with other dogs warms my heart.   
Joe_L2

Registered:
Posts: 52
 #8 
Medved,

I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you're experiencing. My beautiful little sister, Baby Bunny passed last Friday and I'm a mess.

I know that none of us can take away the pain, but we are here to listen and offer words of comfort to ease the suffering.

I wish this emptiness on no one.


Baby Bunny's Big Brother, Joe
Medved

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #9 
Mishka is home again today.  Picked him up today.   Can't stop crying.    I put him near his favorite place in apartment.

I don't know what to do...
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