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LindaK

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Posts: 1,405
 #1 
To be alone in one of your darkest hours. To have no one to talk to. Who really understands. All I wanted to do was help God's creatures. To do what was best for them. Good intentions which went terribly wrong. I hope they know I love them
fostersmommy

Registered:
Posts: 893
 #2 
They know you love them.  We all really understand.  You are NOT alone.  Here are lyrics from one of Foster's songs on his playlist--

"You're Not Alone Tonight"

We all drink to forget
Some of us more than most
When reality gets too real
And the fires of hell to close
But I'm here to let you know that
That you can make it through
If you believe that someone is watchin' over you

And call it an angel
Call it a muse
And call it karma that you've got comin' to you
What's the difference
What's in name
What matters most is never ever losin' faith
'Cause it's gonna be alright
You're not alone tonight

We all have our days
When nothing goes as planned
Not a soul in the world
Seems to understand
And for someone to talk to
You'd give anything
Well go on and cry out loud
'Cause someone's listenin'

Yeah, and call it an angel
Call it a muse
And call it karma that you've got comin' to you
What's the difference
What's in name
What matters most is never ever losin' faith
'Cause it's gonna be alright
You're not alone tonight

Keep your faith alive
You're not the only one

Yeah, and call it an angel
Call it a muse
Call it karma that you've got comin' to you
What's the difference
What's in name
What matters most is never ever losin' faith
Yeah, you're gonna be alright
You're not alone tonight

Oh you can cry if you want to, go on



KatLover

Registered:
Posts: 842
 #3 
Linda, I know you have helped many, and believe me, God knows.  None of us are perfect, we can only do the best we can.  God knows that.  He blesses and loves anyone who does what they can for his creatures, and that is YOU.  You have helped me many times, and I'm one of his creatures too.  Some people believe that we when we pass, we have a life review--believe me, you will have an army of little ones standing up for you.  And we all really do understand.  Go easy on yourself--

Kathy

Bobo

Registered:
Posts: 116
 #4 
Your not alone..and I quote the Master "I will never leave you, nor forsake you" I know its looks like one set of footprints in the sand, but your NOT alone! We are all here too.


cincygal10

Registered:
Posts: 1,066
 #5 
Dear sweet Linda,
      Your post frightened me.  Are you OK? You're not alone.  Too many people love you here .  Please don't catastrophize.  Things aren't as bad as you think they are.  You are just a little overwhelmed right now.  You know how I feel about  depression.  Please go see someone.  You are needed here.  You help so many people here.  Your are important and strong and most of all loved.  You have always given me support and love and many other here too.  Now it's time to love YOU.  It's your turn.  Love yourself and let someone help you through this.  Please call someone.  Hospitals have lists of places where you can go to get help.  Just try even though you don't want to.  A social worker told me a long time ago that just because you don't want to do something doesn't mean you can't do it anyway.  Please Linda.  Your furbabies love you so much and they need you to love them and take care of them.  There's nothing to feel guilty about.  You didn't do anything wrong. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it will shine so brightly for you, but you need to take the first step.  You can do this Linda.  You are so strong.  Pick up the phone and start your life over.
God Bless.
                           Sleep peacefully,
                                    Pam
River

Registered:
Posts: 262
 #6 
They know how much you love them. No one should ever feel alone here. What has happened? You need to talk about what is troubling you. You have helped so many and there are still so many in need of your help and there will continue to be.
JanH

Registered:
Posts: 555
 #7 
Dearest Linda,

Come and talk about what you are feeling. You know you can trust the people on his web site. If you are feeling so very down, do as Pam suggests get some help. You are precious, your love for others and your deep love for animals shines through your every message, you give hope and understanding to all those who need it. I always look for your posts, you have friends here, although we have never met we are all like minded people who care for each other in all ways, not just when comfort is needed for a beloved pet, but in all ways. Please Linda, depression is a terrible thing but help is there, if you reach out, if I can help, or any of us can, you know we will.
Your friend
JanH...across the water  
Murphy22

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Posts: 1,982
 #8 
Linda, you sound like something terrible has happened.  You can talk to us.  You know we understand and care about you. 
Sandie

Mayme

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Posts: 1,523
 #9 
My Dear Friend Linda,

First, let me say that you are not alone in how you feel. I too think about the many many things I did to keep my Baby from all harm. Linda, I was so careful to the point I wouldn't let shoes on my floor for fear Sammy would catch something. I think about it a lot. But I will tell you as I tell myself Sweetheart, the ugly spirit of guilt has no place in this. We did the best we could, even if we made mistakes. Our Father knows this. As much as our Babies are our Babies, we must remember that they couldn't "tell" us when things weren't right. We Love them Linda. This is what is required. I want you today to sit and see yourself as God sees you Dear One. He sees you as a Good and Faithful Servant. As a caretaker of His Precious Creatures. As a Dear Friend to all of us here. As His Beautiful Daughter that He loves with all of His Heart Linda. God Loves you as much as His Son Jesus. We are here for you and so is The Father Linda. We Love You! God bless.

Love, Mayme ~ Sammy's Mommy
twinkiesmom

Registered:
Posts: 844
 #10 

Has anyone heard from Linda?  I sent her a private message and got no response.  We had been e-mailing occasionally and she had not communicated anything to me in several weeks.  I am worried about her.

TDawg

Registered:
Posts: 536
 #11 
I AM ALSO WONDERING HOW LINDA IS DOING. HOPE SHE IS OK. LINDA WE ALL HERE AT PETLOSS ARE THINKING OF YOU. PLEASE LET US KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING MY FRIEND. SENDING YOU BIG ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))).

LOVE YA,
TERRI(NIKKI'SMOM)

KatLover

Registered:
Posts: 842
 #12 
Yes, Linda, please let us know how you're doing.  People here do care about you, don't beat yourself up about things that are ultimately out of our control.  So many of us are going through hard times.  Please let us know how you're doing.

Kathy

Cecis_Mom

Registered:
Posts: 1,191
 #13 
I panicked when I first saw these most recent posts as I have been worried, too.
 
I clicked on her profile, and it showed she did indeed login as recently as yesterday.
 
Linda, we understand if you do not want to post right now.
 
I am comforted to know you are still visiting us here in your Pet Loss Family ~
 
Silent Support is equally important around here ~
 
Reading new posts and praying for others always helps.
 
Love you, Linda,
 
Ceci's Mom (Robin) and Mama to Lil' Red, my precious boy
                                                                        and The Pinny Gig
Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #14 
I also hope you are doing ok, Linda. I know you've had a very rough time as of late. Your petloss family is always here for you.

Mare
grieving

Registered:
Posts: 210
 #15 
Pet Loss is a family large as the world so you are not alone the room is open 24-7 with people who understand because we too are here to mourn cry tell of the guikt (who cannot remember something they did even with best intentions their fur baby did not like )and to heal. Ypu are nott alone we are here with you click on reach out stay with us.
Hugs and Blessings
Suzanne

JanH

Registered:
Posts: 555
 #16 
Dear Linda,
You don't seem to be contacting us here - your Petloss family. We are like a family because we all care about each other -in many ways more so than our..actual...family. Sometimes our actual families don't seem to understand us or how we are feeling especially when it comes to the loss or the worry we are experiencing over a beloved pet. When my darling Mother died in May, I received some really comforting words from my Petloss family and I was so touched by the kindness shown. I hope you can soon come to the message boards and tell us you are coping.
Your friend
JanH...across the water
LindaK

Registered:
Posts: 1,405
 #17 
I am sorry to cause so much worry. Believe me I am not worth it. I have been trying to care for 3 "extra" kitties abandoned by the mean neighbor. I'm glad the neighbor is gone but it angers me that she abandoned her cats. Just left them like they were garbage. I am working with our local humane agent because there are animal abandonment laws in my town. Anyway, one of the cats is the black cat I have posted about before, one is a gorgeous longhaired fluffball tiger, and the third is a tabby cat who looks just like my girls Wiggles and Wrinkles. I called them Blackie, Gingerbread (the longhaired cat looks like my very first childhood pet "Ginger"), and Jitterbug. I lost Blackie and Gingerbread. They darted out the door and into the street. They both were hit and killed. I'm heartbroken. They trusted me. It was my fault they ran out the door. They were frightened and I knew better then to try and open the door with them so scared. I should have waited until they calmed down. But I didn't. I have become a terrible fur parent undeserving of these wonderful cats. Jitterbug has a vet appointment on Wednesday. Something is wrong. Her back legs are very wobbly and falls down a lot. She tires easily but is eating and drinking ok. I named her Jitterbug because everything frightens her. I believe she is hearing impaired. It isn't the "selective hearing" that most cats have. There is definitely a hearing problem. I will talk with the vet about everything. I am praying it is something like an ear infection causing the unsteadiness and hearing problem. If it is more serious I can't afford to give her the proper care. I don't think I can keep her and asked my vets office to post a flyer for me to find her a home. Today I will contact local shelters to place her on a wait list for an opening. More heartbreak. More pain. That's all there is. That's all there will be.








KatLover

Registered:
Posts: 842
 #18 
Hi Linda, first I'm glad you're OK.  Please don't beat yourself up over the loss of the two, you did everything you could and you try so hard to help God's creatures.  We've all been in this situation before, myself included, accidents happen.  When I worked with horses, every day was like an accident waiting to happen.  We've all been in situations with pets when through just sheer luck, things turned out OK, but they could just as easily have gone the other way.  I hope Jitterbug is OK, and that you will go easier on yourself.  You don't deserve feeling so much pain, don't put yourself through this.

Kathy

River

Registered:
Posts: 262
 #19 
You did your very best. That is all anyone can do. And that is more than most people are willing to do. Bless you for trying so, so hard to help so many. You are only one person trying to take on the work and responsibility of many. I am so sorry for your hearbreak and pain.
PamGarland

Registered:
Posts: 315
 #20 
Hi Linda,

I haven't been here very long but I do know all about guilt and how it can take normal emotions and twist them into something potentially dangerous to the poor person experiencing them.  
It sounds to me that you have taken on the task of a warrior, trying to save lives that no one else has cared about.  Personally, I believe that a higher power puts that spirit in certain people to better our world. It is not an easy gift to receive or to use but you were chosen for a reason.  If you save only one kitty you have fulfilled the purpose given to you. Please try to remember that you are only human and as such, you will make mistakes, have accidents, misunderstand and all the other things that are a part of being human. God, or the higher power you believe in, understands this better than anyone as He is your creator. 
Someone once told me that life is kind of like being in the army.  The commander tells you what to do and you do it, even though you don't know if it makes any difference immediately because you can't see the big picture like he does. Your higher power is your commander and you are following your spirit when you save little ones.
You've made a difference and it is a good one.  Take comfort in knowing that if you save one life, or bring love and care to one life, you are the most important person in the world to that one life. 
Please take care of yourself.  You were sent here for a reason and you are needed.


twinkiesmom

Registered:
Posts: 844
 #21 
Linda, I think you are a special person for doing all that you do.  I know how stressful taking care of our furry friends can be.  I adopted a shelter kitty this spring for $75 that ended up costing about $1000 in vet bills.  Emma was so sick it was unbelievable but we both got through it and she is so precious to me.  All you can do is keep going, one day, hour or minute at a time.  God loves you, as do your kitties and friends here at petloss.  I will be praying for little Jitterbug, that she will soon be well.

I wish I could be with you to help with all your kitties.  I am glad that you put a flyer up at the vet.  I have seen that work on many occasions.  I actually found a wonderful home that way for a sweet kitty I fostered.

As for the lady who moved away leaving those poor little kitties behind, well I will not write what I think about her for fear of getting booted out of petloss.  I will say that we all pay for the terrible things we do just as we are rewarded for the good.

God bless and keep you honey.  We are here for you.  Always!  Gentle hugs coming your way for all your furries.

Love and hugs,
Marsha


Berta

Registered:
Posts: 541
 #22 
Oh Linda, You are an angel to these precious furbabies. You are doing all you can possibly do to help them. That makes for a remarkable, loving person. Please don't beat yourself up for those kitties being hit by a car. You are not to blame. You were doing your best to rescue them and it's not your fault. My little dog I had just got from the shelter ran out in front of a car and got hit, too. He survived, but still...! I felt horrible, but things like this happen. He bolted. We try our best to make a good home for our furbabies and things like this still happen that are beyond our control.
You should be proud of yourself for doing all you can do to try to save these babies. That is all any of us can do. We love animals and we do our best. I will keep Jitterbug in my prayers. God bless you for your love and caring.
LindaK

Registered:
Posts: 1,405
 #23 
Thank you to all my dear friends! I don't feel so alone when I'm here. Too bad it is not possible to be on here 24/7.
Jitterbug sent me into another panick attack yesterday. I wouldn't wish a panick attack on the devil. Geez I don't like those things. Anyway, she bolted past me and out the door! She ran from me when I called to her and slowly and carefully started for her. Thankfully she stopped when she saw a big truck going down the street. She's scared of everything. I was able to get her safe and sound but then the panick attack came on faster and lasted so long this time. But Jitterbug is safe. That's all that matters. Thank you my dear family!
God bless, Linda
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