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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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Posts: 1
My husband and I had a bearded dragon named Buttons. We loved her so much--we still do. Her heat lamp had been shut off and we didnt know it until a few days later, and by the time we caught it, it was too late. A massive exotic vet bill later, and spending half my birthday in an after hours office, and we brought her home with meds and food. She survived the night, and then yesterday she just....had a seizure, and passed away right after.

My husband is the one that hurts quickest, so I was sort of quietly steady so one of us would be, but now I'm lying here thinking about her and how she's gone. I'll never give her another bath, or see her looking up at me all big dumb eyes and silly face. I'll never hold her little tiny hand with one of my fingers again. And the worst part is, I know the pain will pass, and she'll end up a memory--but I dont want her to be a memory. I had to put down my dog three years ago, and picturing her and Buttons together over the RB helps, this hurts?

I have a cat now, and I'm so scared of when she'll be a memory too. I'm sad. I leave in a week and a half to travel back to Canada while immigration starts, and my husband and I will be back to 2500 miles apart, except now he wont even have Buttons with him like he usually does.

None of this even makes sense, I just cant breathe well so I'm typing until it slows down. I didnt think I'd hurt this bad over it, but....the more I think, the worse it gets.

I miss my lizard and I hate my birthday.

Posts: 4
I'm so sorry for your loss.  It sounds like Buttons was very special.  I know exactly what you mean about not wanting them to be a memory.  It is such a painful process accepting what has happened especially when it wasn't expected.  

My thoughts are with you as you walk through this.
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