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Posts: 67
and I am still a mess.

When I go for my walk without my dog I see others walking theirs and I say "heartbreak on a leash" to myself.

I have had company for a few days and they have interfered with my grieving and I feel that I have lost my dog. I can't find her in my memories.

I only got about 5 days by myself and then they came. I hope she comes back when they leave. I need her. 

I still want to call the vet and see if maybe my dog is still there, maybe in the backroom somewhere. This has to be a bad dream, a joke, a test to see if I did love her or not. 

She is not in her spot...


Posts: 2
Hello Tanker_1... I’m new here, but your story spoke to me. I’m so sorry for your loss. It has been 3 weeks since I lost my beloved pup and I can relate to may of your feelings.

“She’s not in her spot...” I can’t tell you how many times in these three weeks I’ve looked for my boy in his usual spots and how my heart breaks every time he is not there.

“I can’t find her in my memories.” This hurts, but I can relate to this so much. My husband and I move around a lot, and each time we move, the time we’ve spent in previous apartments become more of a distant memory to me. The problem with that is that time spent in previous apartments is also time I’ve spent with my precious pup. I wish some of my memories with him were stronger. It has helped me to look at old pictures (and videos, when I have them). I’ll be crying when I look at them, but I will also smile because they take me back to that happy time.

I hope you are doing ok today. At 3 weeks out, I have some days where I can be ok and some days where I can’t stop crying.

You’ll be in my thoughts today ~

Posts: 580
I know how you feel. When our "heart dogs" are not with us any longer it's hard to get back to life. Our lives have changed and will never be the same. You are only being a "mess" because you are grieving so deeply inside. I big piece of your heart left that day 11 days ago. I feel you and know your pain. Yes it is hard to see others walking their dogs knowing that one day they will take the path that we did. Yes it is "heart ache" but I wouldn't ever give up the 16 + years with Termy even knowing that this day would come. This is why we love them so fiercely and they love us the same. They know that their lives are so short and that is why they pack so much into loving us. They want us to have enough to last the rest of our lives. What a gift they give us. Don't you think? Take all the time you need but please try to remember the journey you got to share with your baby. I do.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
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