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Posts: 1,198
It's been over six weeks since my Blackie passed away. To this day I still cry when I think back on our very short amount of time together and realize he will never be coming back to me. I really, really miss him, more than I've missed any other pet or person in my life. I think Rufus, my cat that lived with Blackie and me for the last year or so of Blackie's life, is also still mourning Blackie's absence. He isn't quite as depressed as he was the first couple of weeks after Blackie died, but no matter how much extra love and attention I give him, he just isn't himself anymore, meaning he isn't as jovial and energetic as he used to be before Blackie died. So that is sad to see as well. It is surprising he has reacted to Blackie's death this way and for this long because he and Blackie absolutely did not get along with each other at all. He seems to be getting along better these days with Squeeker, my new kitty, but Rufus' temperament is still not quite the way it was before Blackie died. So sad...

The ache I have in my heart for Blackie isn't going to go away any time soon. I really miss the time we had together, time we spent not doing anything particularly special, but just time being with each other. I miss being able to look around and see Blackie resting and have him look back at me and me being able to tell him how much I love him. I'm nowhere to the point where I can look back on our time together and smile and laugh when I think of some of the silly things he did. The pain is still too much for me. I wish I could move forward and start to smile, I wish I could laugh, I wish I could enjoy the memories I have of our time together. But I can't and it is painful to even think back on our time together, so for now I either don't think of Blackie or I do think of him and just sit and cry (or if I'm at work or in a public place, I try not to cry and just hold things inside).

I hope healing starts to happen soon. I am tired of crying but at this point I just don't know how else to cope with this very painful loss in my life.

Thanks for letting me ramble on, I appreciate it and I appreciate that there are so many here that empathize and will always listen no matter what.

Blackie's mommy


Posts: 1

It has been a year since I lost my almost 12 year old husky my husband got him for me when he was 8 wks old..I still miss him alot  and find myself still crying at times when ever I talk about him..His name was Bandit..I have another dog he is a small mini silver poodle and is 10 yrs old now I have had him since he was 2 yrs old..Last year when I took him in for his annual check up and vaccines the Dr. told me he was going blind I have no trouble dealing with a blind dog or an aging dog..My worries is I have a little 2 yr old maltipoo girl and her and my poodle are play buddies..I am still grieving the loss of Bandit  and  worring about my poodle ..Wondering what I am going to do if something happens to my poodle my little maltipoo is going to miss the poodle.Its bad enough with 1 of us dealing with depression..I also have an old cat I think he is 16yrs now I have had him since he was a kitten..I also have a estimated 61/2 yr Inold CHOW SHARPEI girl that a friend rescued and didn,t work out ..We didn,t want to see this beautiful girl go back to the rescue so I had bring the girl over to see how she gets along with my 2 little dogs and the cat .It was supposed to be a 2 week trial ..She is such a sweet heart she even gets along with the cat..Because  of the Sharpei I take her to the groomers once a month with the maltepoo..Sharpei ,s are prone to skin infections because of the folds in their skin..Well to get to the point I have had her since and she has been a wonderul addition to my pet family..My pets are not pets to me but like my kids ..I even give then each my last name on their licenes ..They are a part of my family..when I was a kid and one of our pets passed  on from old age my parents  shielded me from seeing the passed animal and had it taken care of while I was at school or a friends house..So this situation with the loss of Bandit was a whole new ball game..The worst of it was it happened when my 15 year old was home   ..Bandit had just had a annual check up 1 month before he passed away suddenly in the middle of the night.My kid had to help me carry Bandit to the car so I could get him to the vet..  He was a 100lb dog.My kid tries to act like mr tough guy but I know it has to be bothering him because he was 2 yrs old  when we got Bandit..anybody out there in a similar situation?


Posts: 657

Kelly, We started here at the same time.  Your Blackie is a beauty.  I do the same as you, I try not to think of my dog because when I do, all I do is cry. Trying not to cry is so hard and it is all the time--whether in a store or at work.  It is an effort not to cry.  I don't think the 6 weeks have gone fast--in one way it seems like it all happened yesterday--in another way it seems like the days filled with crying never end. I'm glad you have Squeeker and Rufus.


Posts: 1,198
Hi Becky,

You are right, I am very lucky I have Rufus and Squeeker in my life.  It is sad to realize that only Rufus knew Blackie.  Squeeker has no idea Blackie existed nor was he blessed to know Blackie.  In fact, the only reason Squeeker came into my life was because Blackie died.  Blackie seemed to want to be an only cat and never really cared much for Rufus.  But somehow I think if Blackie and Squeeker had met, Blackie would have grown to like Squeeker simply because Squeeker is a persistently gentle cat that loves being around other cats.  So I think if they had known each other they would have eventually become friends.

You're also right in that 6 weeks really isn't that long a time.  But you know what, it really seems like a lifetime ago that Blackie was with me.  And now he isn't and I am left to carry on without him.  That's what is so hard - life goes on regardless of the fact that Blackie has died and is no longer here to help me get through my days, weeks, months.  Time flew by so quickly during the short amount of time we had together.  And now that he is gone it seems as though on the one hand time is passing so quickly but on the other hand it just drags by because the days are hard to get through without him here.

I miss you my beautiful boy, I really do.  I hope you are happy and healthy where you are.  You haven't yet come to me in my dreams.  I wish you would, I would really like to have one last chance to tell you how much I love you and to say goodbye.  Until then, take care and know that I will always love you with all that is in me.

Your mommy,

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