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buddy2k

Registered:
Posts: 103
 #1 
We just came home from our usual walk around the track.
The house feels so different now.
The joy seems gone.  My joy.
I used to love coming home and finding Lilly curled up somewhere, or sometimes, she
would greet us.  I always went to find her.  And smile and feel happy.
But now - it just feels empty and sad and quiet.
That's just how it is - for now.
I miss you my Lilly - lots & lots & lots


the_sweetest_one

Registered:
Posts: 6
 #2 
Buddy,

It does feel so incredibly different without them... Like their absence is palpable & hanging in the air. I’m so sorry for the loss of your Lilly. You describing her as your joy really touches my heart & I know exactly what you mean. I’m thinking of you & know how incredibly painful this time can be. Please feel free to message me if you ever need to talk. You’re not alone in this.

All the best to you, xx

Elle
sunspark

Registered:
Posts: 21
 #3 
Hi Buddy, 

I have lost 3 dogs in the past 14 months -- one was a rescue we only had for 2 years, the other two were brothers who loved each other and us so so much.

What you said about your joy being gone, that is exactly how I feel. I feel like something deep within me has broken forever, I will never be the same. I definitely feel like I don't have the coping skills that i used to have.. there is a change. 

We do have two new dogs, one is a female we named Lilly!! We do a lot of the same things w these new dogs, walks etc - same places, that we did before, but it's not the same. I am trying to love them and I do like them, but it is so different from the depth of feeling I had for my 13+ year old boys. So different. I guess it will just take time. Of course it will, I know, I think? but I do feel like I will never be able to repair this blackhole that has opened up inside me.
buddy2k

Registered:
Posts: 103
 #4 
sunspark,
It is 6 weeks today, that my Lilly left me, she died in my loving arms at home.
I too feel like something deep within me has broken.  I know that my heart is broken.
I feel like I am changed too, and will never be the same.
Lilly was my heartcat.  Without a doubt, I have never felt such love in my life.
The deeper we love, the deeper the grief - this, I truly believe.
I don't know why some bonds, are just so much deeper than others, but, I guess there
is so much that we will never know or understand. 
I hope that in time it will be easier, but for now, it's just not.


buddy2k

Registered:
Posts: 103
 #5 
Thank you for your kind words Elle.
The house feels so strange without Lilly.
It's hard to believe just how big her presence was here. 
It was huge.
She was so very special.
Lilly's mom

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