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Anneke

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Posts: 1
 #1 
I had to have my dog put to rest at the age 7. She was a strong and beutiful dog my beutiful dog. Each day i get home from school she would be waiting at the car door with her big doggy smile, sometimes she would even try getting into the car. I got her at the age of 4 weeks but i chose her at 2 weeks the moment i saw her i knew i wanted her. If we swam she would get onto the top step on the pool and bite at the water and once she feels she is done she would get out and roll around on the grass basically making sumersaults. I named her Tiny but she was anything but tiny seeing that she was a great dane/ pitbull/ boer bull/ lab mix she also had the biggest heart. At night i can hear her snoring while i try to contain my laughter to not wake my parents.

She loved her food probably more than us so once i noticed her not even touching her food i first thought there is something wrong but came the second day still the same and then i knew there was something wrong with my puppy at around day 5 she started to paind hard and weezing with every move she makes thats when I first said we should take her to get checked out we constantly checked her gums to see of its dog fever but they stilled stayed balck and like that 3rd week came around my baby weezing and painting not eating much and moving about even less and if she does shes draging one of her paws each time i saw her i almost cried because it pained me seeing her like that by then i mentined taking her to the vet 3 times and finaly we did but by then it was to late my puppy that used to be big and strong was lean and where she used to waight about 38kg bevore this now she waighed 23 kg. It was so bad the vet said its a miracle she made it 3 weaks he temperature was 42c°. Turns out it was dog fever but because she was black her gums had to much black stuf in them so they cant change coulour. The vet said they can give her treatment but there is almost no chance of surviving she had almost non red blood cells left her blood looked like water stread out. I knew i had to make the call seeing that shes my dog.

She never really licked but that day she licked me almost telling me its going to be alright. If i just nagged at my parents like most teens do we could have taken her sooner and i would most likely still have my baby at my side. As the worker came to cary her away she didn't even fight she just alowed him to pick her up and carry her away from me. I ran out of there crying once i came to to car i fell to the ground muttering over and over its my fault and shes my dog a fer minutes later shes dead joined. I felt empty and alone.

Latter that day i had to go and choose an new dog as if the previous events didn't even happen. It's been nearly 2 months since that happened and each time i look out my bedroom window and see either the new dog or the old dog lying in a shaddow i suddenly get this feeling of happiness thinking it her but its now. Sometimes i find myself roaming the yard looking for something but never finding my bundel of joy my fury shoulder to cry on or at some points the only reason to live anymore.

I always promised her i would take her with me to a new home were it would be only the 2 of us but now i cant. My lazy baby is gone and its my fault for not nagging more or doing more research. I let her down and she still had so much to live for she should still be here with me comforting me in this time of stress but instead i got a new dog that just wants to bite me that has eays almost like hers.

I find myself thinking what if she would have made it on the medication she made it thus far she was a fighter she would have made it but i didn't alow her to.
ccap1125

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Posts: 6
 #2 
Hi, i'm so sorry this happened.  don't be too hard on yourself sometimes we are in denial and think things will be ok.  i had a similar issue with my cat, by the time i got to the vet, it was too late.  i feel tremendous guilt.  forgive yourself and give yourself a break.  feel better 
EileenD820

Registered:
Posts: 20
 #3 
My heart breaks for you.  I, too, am feeling like it is my fault my wonderful little dog had to be put to sleep.  I find myself crying all the time, even though I knew in my heart at the time that it was the right decision.

Be gentle with yourself as I am trying to be with myself.  They say time heals all wounds.  I'm hoping that is true for your sake as well as mine.

Take care of yourself.
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