Registered: 1509252320 Posts: 3
I was fostering 4 kittens that I found right by a busy road. I initially took them to the local shelter as I couldn't afford to take care of them myself, but they had no rescues or fosters on hand so I was left with three (terrifying) choices: give them back to their mom - who was an adolescent herself and not able to properly feed them, and living right next to the road, leave them at the shelter to be euthanized, or take them in myself and the shelter would provide me with everything I'd need to take care of them.
I had no choice but to take them in, which scared me to death because I live in a house with four dogs and two other cats! And I have never cared for a baby before! So I nursed them (couldn't catch the mom, even baiting her with the kittens) and I slowly introduced them to my dogs because they are so good with my other cats. That was mistake number one. So yesterday, the kittens are two months old now and want nothing more than to run and explore. I opened my door and (as usual) the kittens run out. I was in a hurry and was stupid enough to think it would be just fine to let them roam the house. Unsupervised. With four dogs. Yeah, they spent a lot of time with my dogs and they got along great! Why not? This is the worst mistake I ever made in my life. I'm an idiot. One of my kittens is dead because of me. I didn't feel safe with the other three in my house anymore so I gave them to the shelter today. They are up for adoption. I miss them all so much. I'm not mad at my parents' dog. It's not his fault. I hate myself. I've never sobbed so much in my entire life. It's one thing losing a pet, and it's another thing to lose a pet so young, and knowing that it is my fault means that I will never recover from this. The only thing I can do is ensure that all of his brothers find loving homes and continue to help stray cats and animals in need in his honor. I am so sorry and I loved you beyond words. Rest in peace Jax, my wittle one.
Registered: 1508326382 Posts: 71
I’m so sorry this has happened but please don’t hate yourself. You didn’t mean for this to happen and all you were doing was the best you could.
Us humans are not perfect and can’t forsee what is going to happen, it was just a tragic accident, you didn’t make this happen. I know it’s just so raw for you right now and hopefully in time you will see it that way, that it was just an accident.
You've saved the others from the roadside which in itself is such a caring and kind hearted thing to do.
Please try not to beat yourself up, you are clearly a lovely person who loves animals and you don’t deserve to punish yourself.
Registered: 1403126300 Posts: 377
Oh my I'm so very sorry for what had happened please accept my most sincere sympathy on the loss of your little one. I can totally understand how you might be feeling now, because I just lost 2 of my little kittens yesterday to. my heart is so broken right now that is hard for me to even cope to. I already lost 3 of my baby kittens that I don't even think I will ever be a pet owner of another cat again. It's just hard to lose these little ones especially if we were so just to them I know it's so sad. but please don't be so hard on yourself, everything that happen was just an accident. You were a great parent and had such a great heart, because you gave the opportunity to them to be in your life it doesn't matter if it was only for a short period of time. What counts is that you open your heart and rescued these 4 little ones by providing them a lovely home. I know that whenever these little one is he's very thankful to you that you did what was best for him/her. ~ Mayra
Registered: 1509252320 Posts: 3
Thank you very much for your replies. I will honor my little Jax's life by helping as many shelter pets / strays as I can. He was gone too soon :(