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Shayliesmom

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #1 

I posted on this board back in Nov 2015, when I lost my dog (Shaylie) of almost 19 yrs. You all were very helpful at that time, and I'm seeking your support once again. I'm sorry I hadn't been back since then, but to be honest, it was difficult. But I think I can benefit from your support again. 

At that time, I also had 3 cats (Jack, Sami, & Boomerang). Jack is the oldest at 12 yrs old and he has been with me since he was a kitten. Sami was 11 and I adopted her when she was about 3 or 4 yrs old. Boomerang was around 9, and he came into my life when he was around 5 yrs old. I then adopted a new dog a couple months after Shaylie passed. Penny was 1 when I adopted her. 

Anyway, Boomerang had previously lived at another house in my neighborhood, but after he showed up at my house a couple times and his owner not wanting him back, I decided to keep him, and I renamed him Boomerang (you know, since he kept coming back...lol).

My oldest cat, Jack, hated Boomerang, but he not happily, co-existed with him. Sami pretty much just ignored him. But Boomerang and my dog, Penny, got along well and often cuddled together. 

Sami and Boomerang were both very friendly with me and never bit me. They liked to play. And they both slept on my bed. Sami slept next to me and often rested one of her paws on my hand. Boomerang usually cuddled with my dog, Penny. Jack, the jerk (haha), does whatever the hell he wants. 

Ok, that's the background info.

This past February, I noticed that Sami stopped eating and had lost weight. She was already a small cat (normally 7 lbs) and had lost 2 lbs....too much. I took her to the vet and with x-rays and an ultrasound, it was determined that she had cancer, pancreatitis, and liver disease. The vet said there was nothing that could be done for the cancer and only supportive care for the liver and pancreas. I desperately wanted a little more time with her and thought if I could just get her to eat, I could put off her death until the cancer became too much. Unfortunately, Sami would not eat, even with a syringe...she would just spit it out. I refused a feeding tube....(a cat I had many years ago had stopped eating and I went the feeding tube route and vowed never to do that again, unless it was just a temp thing....it was pure torture for my cat). So, a week after taking her to the vet, I made an appointment to have her put to sleep. I knew it was the right time, because she actually passed away before the vet had finished with the euthanasia. I was very sad, but I didn't have the same guilt as I did when my dog, Shaylie, who was put to sleep 2 yrs prior. 

Well, 2 months later (this past May), it was Boomerang's time. About a week before, I noticed that he had lost a little weight, but I wasn't too concerned. He was a big boy (20 lbs) and was still eating, so I thought his new food was just helping with weight loss. Well, on a Sunday, he stopped eating and became lethargic. I didn't want to take any chances, so I had decided that if he still wasn't eating the next day, I would take him to the vet. Boomerang got worse throughout the day, and by Sunday night, he wouldn't move and his paws were cold. I took him to the emergency vet that night. The vet told me his body temp was 89 degrees and she didn't expect him to make it through the night. I wanted to give him a chance though, so they did all the warming stuff they could do and they ran blood work also to find out what happened. The blood work showed a problem with his liver and pancreas, just like with Sami. I asked the vet if I had brought him in sooner that day, if he would have had a better chance, but she said she didn't think so. I decided that if he could make it through the night, I would take him to his regular vet the next day to see about treatment (if any) for his liver and pancreas. The vet called me at 5:30 am Monday morning and told me that Boomerang had passed away. They had been able to get his body temp up a little, but it was all too much for him.

I've been really struggling. I was wondering why it was harder with Boomerang than with Sami. I chalked it up to being so sudden. But I think now it's because it was 2 cats passing away within 2 months of each other...and my dog 2 yrs before that.  3 pets in 2 1/2 yrs! Why?! Was there something in my house that caused the problem with the cats? Probably not, but I still wonder. 

I have guilt with Boomerang, because I also wonder if I had just brought him in sooner that day, he might have been saved. I've read about other animals with low body temp and they survived. I had my regular vet look at the emergency vet records, and he told me that since Boomerang had other stuff going on with him, it made it that much harder for him to overcome. But the guilt is still there. 

My dog, Penny, misses her cuddle buddy. However, my cat Jack is beyond happy....and that makes me upset. Jack is now running around on cloud 9 because Boomerang is no longer here. On the one hand, I'm glad that Jack feels comfortable again, but I'm also mad at him for flaunting his joy. It's stupid of me to think that way, I know, but still. 

I just miss them all so much. 

Thank you for reading.

Here are a couple collages of Sami and Boomerang....

 

Sami
Image may contain: indoor


Boomerang
Image may contain: indoor

Shayliesmom

Registered:
Posts: 8
 #2 

Since replies are moderated, I doubt this will be cleared, but still, I have something to say.

I came back to this board, asking for support, because I've been very sad by the loss of my pets. It would have been comforting to have received even one word on this post, but that did not happen.  :(  

I understand that people might be too sad with their own experiences, and just simply can't find the right words. I get it, because I've definitely felt the same way. Perhaps though, in the future, maybe a moderator could reply to a person's post, when they are clearly looking for support. It would be helpful to know that at least 1 person heard them and acknowledged the loss. 

I appreciate the support from when I posted about my dog back in Nov 2015. But since I am needing it again, I'm going to leave and seek help elsewhere. 

 

Pawprince

Registered:
Posts: 92
 #3 
I care. I have been dealing with my own grief away from here, so I know thats the reason I haven't read or commented on many threads. I'm sorry you have gone through so much loss. Your pets photos are beautiful!! Please keep reaching out for help when you need it, friends, acquaintances, groups, support hot lines. This has to be a terribly difficult time and I hope you find some comfort soon. God Bless
RF

Registered:
Posts: 46
 #4 
I bet many have read your story and empathized, but perhaps did not answer because of their own on-going grieving.  I lost my sweet Henry in April, and have been away from this site for a while, due to other things that demanded my attention (even though I still grieve daily for him).  But I know what you mean - when your heart is breaking you would like to have someone who has been there and done that speak to you and your grief.  

It would be good if someone could respond to every new posting.  Sometimes it seems like you're reaching out for some comfort or empathy, and there seems to be none there, at least not right away.  We all need understanding and hugs at such sad horrible times.
Dogsarepeopletoo

Registered:
Posts: 106
 #5 
A year ago, we had one dog and two cats - all roughly the same age. We lost the cat about 6 months ago; and recently lost our dog.

It's so hard -- I feel for you.
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