Registered: 1206704663 Posts: 317
Here I am, after 8 weeks and still crying like it was yesterday. I know it takes time but I'm wondering if I would ever stop crying for my baby. I don't know if it was the circunstances of how she died or the fact I was not there, I just think everyday: "why?", my little Jessie was not so old, she was in good health, why she had to go so soon?. I always hoped she would live very long 17 or 18 years... everytime I thought of how it would have been without her I felt so bad I did not even wanted to think about that. I just woke up from a horrible dream, a dream that became a nightmare and I cannot get out of there. I dreamed that I was walking with you like many times we did and that all of a sudden you died. I took you to the vets but they could not do anything... and the reality is similar, my baby died and there was nothing we could do. Only that now I wish I could just not feel this pain, the emptiness without her. My sweet Jessie was such a wonderful company, my little baby which I got since she was a little more than two months. She slept with me since the first day and our connection was so strong. She would know if was happy or sad. She always made me smile even if I was passing through stress. If I was in the computer you were the one who wanted to lay in my lap. I wish I could ask you again for you little paw, you were so cute doing your tricks. I could never resist to pamper you and give you something you liked in exchange. My little Jessie, it is 8 weeks now, the 2 months anniversary is aproaching, I know how it would be, tears and pain because you're not with me. I know you have now met so many wonderful dogs and kitties who are so wonderful like you for me. You were always social so you must be organizing those parties on the Rainbow Bridge. A big kiss to you and your little boys and your grandson. I hope you can eat lot of chocolate chip cookies and ham. HAPPY TWO MONTHS BRIDGE DAY MY SWEET JESSIE, I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU... Diana, Jessie's mom.
Registered: 1197081544 Posts: 686
It is so hard to reach these sad milestones. I don't think we ever truly get past such terrible losses, but eventually the tears will give way to smiles as you remember your sweet baby. I lost my kitty Gus, 5 mo. ago. I can now remember him with smiles, but there will always be a sadness. Even now, I still have days when the tears come for no apparent reason. You are in my thoughts on this anniversary. May you find comfort in knowing that sweet Jessie is always close by watching over you. Kate (Gus' mom)
Registered: 1192815206 Posts: 1,198
I'm so sorry you're still in so much pain, I wish I could give you some kind of magic formula to make it go away so you could enjoy your memories of your time with Jessie without tears. But I can't, I can only say I'm sorry and encourage you to keep remembering Jessie and to share your memories with us. If it helps any, I still cry over the memories of Batman & Nitelite, the two cats we had when throughout most of my childhood and into my college years. My mom had Nitelite PTS when I was away at college and she didn't tell me about it until a few months later when I came home for Christmas break. I was with Batman when we had him PTS, and it was a shock to go through that, especially since my mother kept his condition from me and I was unprepared for how much his health had declined since the previous summer. Both Batman & Nitelite passed away over 15 years ago yet their deaths still haunt me, especially Nitelite's since he was healthy when he was PTS (my mother put him to sleep because he was an incessant sprayer and at that time she lived in a rental home and the landlord was pretty clear that my mom would have to pay for the damage caused by Nitelite's spraying, something she could not financially afford at the time). Like your situation, Nitelite was PTS when I was away and my mother did not have his body cremated nor did she keep his body for burial, so I never had a chance to say goodbye to him in person. To this day I still cry over Nitelite's death, and I think it is not just because he is dead but because I didn't have a chance to say goodbye to him. He did say goodbye to me - he came to me and said goodbye to me for 3 straight nights in my dream around the time he was PTS so at least I have that to hold in my heart. But it still hurts that he is gone, and it still hurts that Batman is gone. Sorry to ramble in your thread...I hope someday you'll start remembering your life with Jessie with smiles and peace in your heart instead of the pain and sadness you currently feel. Give yourself more time - 8 weeks is not very long, especially given the depth of the bond and relationship the two of you had. Jessie knows you loved her, there's no doubt about that, and I am confident she went to the RB very secure in knowing how much you loved and cherished her. Hugs to you, take care, Kelly Blackie's mommy
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
These anniversaries are so painful for us. I know how much you have suffered over losing your precious little girl, being so far away when she passed. Remember how I told you I think she is now with you all the time? I still believe that with all my heart. Little minpins are fiercely devoted little creatures and want to be with their mommies. She is with you, I promise. I am so sorry you had the nightmare. Sometimes I think when we are anxious the nightmares can creep in and temporarily set us back in our grief. In your nightmare, you re-lived her passing which I know was so traumatic for you. Remember the happy little dream visit you had a while back? The one where Jessie came out from under the bed and gave you kisses? Now, THAT is the dream to hold onto. Hold it close to your heart, dear Diana. I know little Jessie and my Betsy are cooking up a storm today. There will be plenty of roasted chicken, brisket, salmon (for the kitties), chocolate, and cake. They will all fill their tummies and then settle for a nap under the big tree at the Bridge. Can't you just see them there? Jessie loves you so, and I know she will be watching over you today and whispering to you on the breeze that gently blows down from the Bridge. If you listen carefully, you WILL hear her. HAPPY TWO MONTH BRIDGEDAY, PRECIOUS JESSIE!! GIVE YOUR MOMMIE A SIGN THAT YOU ARE HAPPY AND WELL AND STILL WITH HER! Love and hugs, Melissa Betsy's forever mom
Registered: 1196453169 Posts: 1,415
Dear Diana--- I can feel what you're going through. It's been over 6 months for me, and I still cry every day for my Teddy. She was everything to me. I guess we must resolve ourselves to having this grief for a long time.
All my thoughts and prayers are with you on this difficult day. HAPPY 2-MONTH BRIDGE DAY, DEAR JESSIE! Mommy would love to have a happy visit or sign from you to let her know that you're doing well at the Rainbow Bridge. She loves you very much. Hugs--Teddy's Mom
Registered: 1208278231 Posts: 199
I am so sorry that you are still in so much pain over your beautiful baby's passing. I know that she is surrounded by a lot of new friends at the Rainbow Bridge. Happy Two Month Anniversary at the RB Jessie! God bless you sweetheart - make sure you keep a close eye on mommy from there. She loves you lot. Love, Piggy's Mom
Registered: 1207026279 Posts: 699
I'm thinking of you and sending you hugs because I felt the same as you when my baby boy, Grunt was gone 8 weeks. I'm sad with you - I know it hurts to be without your precious little Jessie. Love, Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever P.S. Every time I look at Jessie's picture, I think she is such a little darling.
Registered: 1205715660 Posts: 763
Dear Diana, I am so sorry for the loss of your darling Jessie, I know how sad you are and how much you miss her. These anniversaries are so very difficult. And the time seems to go by so quickly, another week, another month without our beloveds. Such hard days. You are in my thoughts.
Happy 8 week BridgeDay adorable little Jessie! Donna, Mr. Meowgy's mom
Registered: 1206704663 Posts: 317
Kate (mommy of Gus), yes I remember to read about your Gus, he is so cute. Is amazing how time goes by and you don't realize it but if you think of your beloved fur-baby then the pain comes and is like everything just happened. I have lots of pics of Jessie and I always see her, she always makes me smile though sometimes through tears. Kelly Blackie's mommy, thanks for sharing your story about Batman & Nitelite. Like you I had some cats and a dog before Jessie. I was little so the pain of them going to the RB (some died as a car hit them) was usually for some days and then gone. When I was getting older we got then a dog from an aunt and we had three cats. One day our dog, "Princess" disappear and we never saw her again. We had our kitties: the girls "Fifí" and "Tisi" and the boy: "Negrito". We travel one time to vist some family and my father stayed at home. We were about to move from a house to an appartment. When we came back out cats were gone. My father had without asking us, gave them to a friend (which lived very far... in the middle of nowhere you can say). We were so sad... we went one time to see them but "Tisi" was missing. She needed extra care because she only had one eye and had some health issues. It was so sad to see... so I was then 11. Some years later I was missing to have a pet. Then my mother decided to buy a little dog for me and there she was, one day I came from school and my sweet little Jessie was there!!! I was 15 years and Jessie two and a half months. That's how she became my baby. Melissa Betsy's mom, I know my little Jessie has a lot of friends including Betsy. I hope she's enjoying all the time in the RB. Our little fur-babys are such a innocent and wonderful creatures, they deserve that paradise for them. I try to forget the nightmares and just think of the beautiful dream I had with my Jessie some weeks ago. I just allow myself to cry if I need to, I know that helps me to let all the pain go and makes me think of the happy times I had with Jessie. Helen Teddy's mom, I know what you're feeling, time passes but for our feeling is like our fur-babies went to the RB yesterday. I know it takes time, but I also know that it would always hurt, even if later we would get other pets... they are all so special in their own way and if they pass awya we miss a little piece of our heart. Piggy's mom, thanks for your message. I try my best to do my daily chores. I work, clean etc, and I mostly end up crying for Jessie. I just cannot help it. I have may times that I think of her with a smile but just to think she is not at home with my parents anymore makes me feel so sad. Katharine, Grunt's Mom, thanks for your words, is so difficult totry to convince myself everyday that my baby is gone and I cannot see her at home. I know she's in the RB enjoying and hopefully one day I would be able to see her again. Jessie was truly an angel, so sweet... never angry, always curious, how much I miss those little paws scratching the door trying to enter the bedroom... Donna, Mr. Meowgy's mom, thanks for your words. I can almost see myself after like 20 years still writing about how much I miss Jessie. She was so special. To realize that already 8 weeks passed is difficult and amazing at the same time. Thank you all for your wonderful words, Diana, Jessie's mom.