Registered: 1214660152 Posts: 8
I'm hoping someone can comfort me.
My Kuma died yesterday. It was just Kuma and me living in my small apartment. She was my best friend, roommate, confidant, my everything. I stayed with my son and his family last night and I will stay with my daughter tonight. I don't know how to handle coming back home alone. I have never been so heartbroken in my life. Please, any words of wisdom or comfort will be greatly appreciated. I can't stop crying, even though I know that if my Kuma is watching me she will be greatly distressed at my pain. Please help. Alicia in San Diego
Registered: 1214505059 Posts: 117
Alicia, I am so sorry to hear about Kuma.
Sending lots of hugs and light your way.
I know it's unbearably hard. We lost our precious Daisy Monday and the pain is still too much for me. Try and remember all the wonderful things that Kuma taught you. All the little things you shared that helped you grow. Embrace those. Smile and laugh about them. It's OK to cry too.
I feel the same way that Daisy wouldn't want to see me this messed up. Though she can see and hear how much I love her still so...
Realize that we are so forever fortunate that our babies came into our lives and shared it with us- however short that time seems. You came to the right place. I have received so much comfort and support here that has helped in a big way.
There's a nice poem in the "Why" forum link that I just thought was beautiful. About someone telling the Lord how hard it is for them to give their special loved one back to him. And the Lord replying that he felt the same way when he gave them to you.
Hang in there. Lots of hugs.
Pat (Daisy's daddy)
Registered: 1206449055 Posts: 657
Alicia, I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost the love of my life three months ago. She was simply everything. I have no other family and she filled my house and heart. Idon't really know how we get through it--I have been coming here since the beginning. The people are the best--but then they are all pet lovers who have lost and they are the only ones who really and truly understand the depth of our sorrow. There is no other place on the internet that can compare to this site so I would say just keep coming back to read and write. There will be more people later on who will answer you and maybe be able to give you some comfort. I am so very sorry we have to be here.
Registered: 1189356273 Posts: 105
Dear Alicia, my heart goes out to you! My Beloved Pet disappeared just about a year ago, and I'm still not over it and may never be! It seems no one really understands the pain that follows a loss of a beloved pet unless someone lost one. It IS pure anguish and just inconsolable, it's like the heart is breaking! It's a very tragic loss! Just know you are not alone, and I'm praying right now for you!
Registered: 1190291298 Posts: 228
I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend, Kuma. It is such a very difficult time for you but I believe that Kuma will understand your tears. Please take all the time that you need to cry. When you feel up to it come back and tell us more about your Kuma and how you spent your time together. I truly understand. Saint
Registered: 1193533588 Posts: 991
Let me extend my condolences at the passing of your Kuma. Being by yourself during this time is difficult and I am glad you have your children who can help.
Do you know the story of Rainbow Bridge. It has given me great comfort over the last few months. It is so good knowing that our babies are there, happy and healthy, just waiting patiently for our time to join them.
You've come to a good place. Everyone feels the same about the furbabies they've lost. Everyone understands what we're all going through. Come back and post some more. Tell us your stories of Kuma(you never said if she is a dog or cat, or something else) and share a picture when you can. Rant, rage, cry; we will understand here.
My prayers are with you today.
Registered: 1211823351 Posts: 1,569
So sorry for your loss. I can only say I know how you feel and that others here will also reach out to you during this most difficult time. Kuma is at the bridge with many new friends today as she was yesterday. She will always be with you...............in your heart. You have lost a soul mate and companion with which you had that unbreakable bond of love and devotion. When the time comes for them to go they always leave a part of themselves in our hearts, as it should be. I can only hope that with time you can replace these sad times with happy and joyous memories you two shared. Again, my condolences for your loss.---Jerry in Oklahoma. Kuma; you know how much your mommy loves and misses you. As you watch over her send her a sign that you are there with her in her heart.
Registered: 1214505059 Posts: 117
Alicia. My heart goes out to you...
Here's a poem from another forum message I found here that helped me a lot.
love and light, Pat (Daisy's daddy)
The Answer to WHY
Scalding torrent acid tears scorch my tired eyes
Red rimmed, blood shot, and burning, turned up to the quiet sky
Black blood filled with hurt and anger courses through my veins
Fueled by a heart that’s so familiar with such loss and pain
Searching the midnight sky for answers left by day
Happiness and comfort are strangers to my life’s way
Wondering and wandering about a world that’s so unkind
Waiting for foolish answers to the questions in my mind
Why This One? Why Her? There Are So Many Others To Take!
This One Is So Special, Who Dares Decide Her Fate?
Why Couldn’t She Stay Longer To Easy My Troubled Life?
The Loss Of This One’s Little Soul Cuts Deeper Than A Knife
No One Else Is Good Enough To Keep Her Safe And Warm
Who Else Could Be Trusted To Save Her From The Storm?
My Love For Her Is Stronger Than Any Other’s Could Be
Why Do I Have To Suffer? She Belongs Right Here With Me!
Thou reeling with the loss of one so vital to my days
I wear my scar so secretly and drift through life’s great maze
Passing minutes turn to hours to mark my time alone
Then lightening streaks across the room to touch my heart of stone
The answers come so violently like a hammer to my chest
Me, who had the nerve to think that I would know what’s best
The sky opened up it’s eyes with a great torrent of rain
The silent voice wrapped in thunder said “I KNOW YOUR PAIN”
“I ASKED THOSE QUESTIONS TOO, BEFORE I SENT HER SOUL TO YOU”
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
I am sorry to learn that you have lost your beloved Kuma. Losing a faithful and loving companion and best friend is unbearably difficult, especially in the beginning. You will feel a rollercoaster of emotions, but this is normal. No two people grieve in the same way, so don't let anyone tell you what you should be feeling. I lost my beloved 16 year old terrier, Betsy, almost six months ago and I still miss her everyday. But, I also know she is no longer suffering from the dementia that stole her personality and joyful little "WooWooWoo" yodel. It helps me tremendously that I believe in the afterlife, so I feel we will be reunited one day. It also helps me to come here and share my feelings, and offer comfort to others.
When you feel up to it, please tell us more about Kuma. What type of furbaby was she? What was she like? We will be here to offer you support. All of us are here because we have lost our babies, or have sick babies. We know your pain. I have lit an internet candle for Kuma under her name. You can find it by going to the first page of AurichWolf's thread entitled "Light a Candle Here" on this grief board and clicking on the little Light a Candle icon in her first post. This will bring up the candle page. The candle will burn for 48 hours. Hugs and prayers, Melissa Betsy's forever mom
Registered: 1214679259 Posts: 1
I lost my Oliver six days ago and wrote a poem for him...it has helped..and I have told people I ma very sad and they have been supportive...here is my poem....
To the best cat I ever had, to my cat Oliver Where has my little buddy gone? I keep listening from dusk to dawn For his mournful but knowing cry And I have to wonder why I was so lucky to own my little man To hold him like only I can To be greeted at the door To love him up some more I long to look into his baby blue eyes To guess at his thoughts so wise Why did he always seem to know My feelings of happiness or woe And here I sit looking at the ceiling Wishing to take care of you, always willing Never wanting to let you go Holding firm because I love you so It was the hardest thing to do And hoping that you knew I did it because I love you Letting go, so hard to do Are you twirling or swishing your tail? Purring softly as you nestle without fail? Can we have our staring contests again? Can I laugh and call you little man? Your dazzling blue eyes I loved so dearly In my memory I can see them clearly And with your last breathe you did take A piece of my heart was at stake How lucky was I our souls aligned Rest assured I was never blind As to who you were or what you meant Let my love reach where you have been sent.
Registered: 1211242652 Posts: 355
Please accept my condolences on the loss of your precious Kuma.
I know how special they are to us; they truly are our babies, friends, confidantes and companions. This is a wonderful site. You will met so many caring and understanding people here. The chatroom is also a great way to connect with others who are experiencing the same feelings you are. I know how hard it was for me to go back home after my cat Cheeseburger passed on May 4th, 2008. I stayed by my mother's house for some time. It is still so hard to be there without him. He was part of everything I did. Please know you have friends here who truly understand and care. Bless your sweet Kuma. Dee Cheeseburger's Mom firstname.lastname@example.org Dee + Cheeseburger = LOVE
Registered: 1205715660 Posts: 763
Dear Alicia, I am so very sorry for the loss of your darling Kuma. Your loss is so new and I know how you are hurting. Your baby Kuma is watching over you, and I believe our loved one's spirits are still with us. The body may give out but the essence of our babies stays with us. Several family members and I have had visits from our beloved Mr. Meowgy. We really believe this. Please keep your mind, eyes and ears open.
You are lucky to have a wonderful son and daughter to share your sorrow and give you much needed support. Continue to come to this website. The people here have been such a comfort to me these past 15 weeks. Everyone is so kind and caring and they do understand. I hope time will help to ease your pain but for some of us that is just not true. Kuma will give you the strength to cope. She loves you and does not want you to be so sad. I wish you peace and comfort. Donna, Mr. Meowgy's mom
Registered: 1207026279 Posts: 699
I'm so very sorry your Precious Kuma has passed. I wish there were some comforting words that I could write to you, but I don't know any. Your post sounds much like what I felt when I lost my beloved boy, Grunt, in February and I was devastated, he was also my everything, like Kuma was to you. The only thing close to comfort that I could feel was that he was no longer in pain, that he was no longer suffering. Mostly my heart was broken, just as your heart is. I do so feel your pain. Let the tears come - there's not much that will stop them anyway. The support of your family is so helpful. Take your time and be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve. You are so right, your Dear Girl Kuma would never want you to be so sad - our babies lived for joyfulness. She is watching over you, and of course, she never left your heart. The path of sorrow is a long and difficult one to travel, but we will share all of it with you. Please come back at any time that you need to talk - letting your feelings out will help you. You are not alone, my friend. I say a prayer for your Beloved Kuma. With deepest sympathy, Katharine, Grunt's Mom Forever
Registered: 1214367041 Posts: 28
I am going through exactly what you are. My "Bella" passed away unexpectedly on June 16th, and I have never been more devastated in my life. It is harder than a human loss for me. It has been 2 weeks now, and the only way I have got through this so far is working 11-12 hrs. a day, and trying to keep as busy as possible. On the weekends, my mom or my kids are taking me places. I hate being home now(it's so empty), it's the hardest thing being alone. It sounds like you and I have the same relationship with our babies. Bella was the love of my life, my partner, my best friend and my soul mate, and it sounds like your baby is the same for you. I still cry, but now it's once to twice a day, rather than all day, she's always in the back of my mind all day. It did help me get some peace, by having her ashes blessed by my priest. You are grieving now and will continue to. Just embrace the process, you have 7 stages to go through, and they may not be in any kind of order. Talk to your baby everyday. Ask her to show you a sign that she's okay now. Just stay with family until you feel a little better. I will pray for you daily. Also you can go to grateful.org and light a candle for your baby. It lasts for 48 hrs, but you can re-light anytime. I have done this, this week for Bella, and one for all of you who have lost your furbabies. Oh, and reach out and talk to friends and extended family about your loss, it helped me a great deal talking about her. I called anybody and everybody and they listened for as long as I needed. You can write me anytime if you need. My email address is:
email@example.com. Love, Shari (Bella's mommy)
Registered: 1213807858 Posts: 1,400
My heart goes out to you. I understand the devastating pain you are feeling about Kuma. I know you shared a great love and bond together. Kuma will always be with you in your heart. Try to have someone go back to your apartment with you if you can. In your own time you will remember all the great love and good times you shared together. We lost our sweetheart Meister on June 6, 2008. I cry a lot every day for him. I do know the unbelievable heartbreak you are feeling. It is great that you have your son and daughter to help you. When Meister went back to heaven my heart broke in a million pieces. I also stayed with my son and his family for a while. It was very hard to come home and look at all the places he would stand and wait for me to pick him up or look at where his little bed was. He slept with me and my husband at night. I miss telling him stories, making him special chicken and most of all telling him I love him. Each day you will become just a tiny bit stronger and Kuma will be watching to make sure your are OK. I think they watched over us just as we did for them. In time you might want to join the Candle Lighting Ceremony on Monday nights for Kuma. I wrote a letter to Meister and I read it to him on that night. You can also have a memorial garden or plants in honor of Kuma. Please know that we are all here to supportyou through this very difficult time. I will pray for you and Kuma. Many hugs, Mary Meisters Mom
Registered: 1214660152 Posts: 8
To Polkadots, Becky57, Luba, Saint, Molly's mom, Jerry C, WooWooWoo, Cat owner, Cheeseburger's mom, Mr. Meowgy, Grunt's mom, Sharibella and Meister's mom:
When I posted on Friday I never expected to get the support, love and caring that I received from you. Your advice, poems, shared stories and compassion have made me feel that I'm not alone at this terrible time. My heart also goes out to all of you for your loss. Sharing with all of you makes it so much more bearable. My original post didn't describe my beautiful Kuma. She was a 14 year old black lab mix. I don't know that I'll ever get over her leaving me. Thank you all, Alicia
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
Oh, Alicia, I am so sorry. We have a beautiful Black Lab mix (mostly lab) named Gracie, who came to our home in September of 2005 in a terrible thunderstorm almost nine months to the day after we had our beloved German Shorthaired Pointer, Easy, put to sleep. She had been abandoned, was about 1 to 1.5 years old, and was simply beautiful. She has been our saving grace, in more ways than one. After my beloved little terrier, Betsy, passed away, Gracie saw me sitting on my bathroom floor crying. She came up to me, licked my tears away, then stared into my eyes. She then put her head in my lap to comfort me. There is something special about the way a Labrador loves you. They have the purest of hearts, don't they? Oh, my heart just breaks for you.
I will be here for you if you need support. Just keep writing, if you feel up to it. Sending hugs and prayers, Melissa Betsy's forever mom
Registered: 1201648552 Posts: 846
Alicia: I'm just now seeing your post. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Kuma sounds like such a beautiful soul. You've definitely come to the right place. The people here continue to amaze me - they're a true Godsend. Losing a furbaby is the hardest thing imaginable. The pain is relentless and so deep. I lost my 2 labs last year - Luna (a yellow lab) to cancer at the age of 4, and Gypsy Girl (a black lab) to old age at the age of 13. To this day I cry for them, I miss them, and I long for them. I talk to them every night. Time helps heal the hole in my heart, but I truly believe I will never "get over" them. Then again, I'm not sure I want to. I know I will never forget the joy they brought to my life. What a blessing they were. Your precious Kuma is in a beatiful place, and she is yours forever. She will never leave you - remember that. I find peace in knowing that I will be reunited with my girls some day, and you will be reunited with Kuma some day too. I'm just so sorry for your loss. My heart truly hurts for you. I understand your pain all too well. I'm sending you many prayers and hugs during this difficult time.
God Bless, Gerlie (Gypsy and Luna's forever mom)
Registered: 1214765760 Posts: 11
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my beloved Layla on the same day. I have found this site to be so comforting. I feel like no one understands what I am going through but then I "log in" and everyone has felt the same loss and knows exactly how I feel. It validates my feelings and has been a tremendous help to me. I hope you can find comfort here and know that each one of us has been there too. Layla's Mom
Registered: 1212085953 Posts: 16
I know it's hard...I lost my Sadie two weeks ago today. These people here will help you a lot through this. Just sharing stories about your Kuma will help. These memories will be hard at first but they will eventually help comfort you. All of our loved furbabies are across the bridge now playing. We are all here for you and know what you are going through.
Registered: 1185992427 Posts: 613
Dear Alicia, I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your beloved Kuma, your precious little soulmate. I know the agony you are going through, believe me, I feel your pain. You came to the right place by posting Kuma's story on Petloss, the people here will listen to you, and give you words of comfort and wisdom twenty four hours a day. We have been in your shoes, we all are at different stages of grieving, and the early days and weeks are surely the hardest. This is a loss that is so hard to come to terms with, and somehow, knowing that our little fur children are together at the Rainbow Bridge, helps us go on with our lives. Your sweet little Kuma is being watched over by all of our fur babies that preceded her to the Bridge. She will be well taken care of Alicia, she was much loved here on earth, and likewise, she will be loved by her new fur family at the Rainbow Bridge. Until the day you are reunited with her, may you find peace and comfort in the beautiful memories that you two created. Hugs from Houston, MsSavion
Registered: 1210209740 Posts: 143
You have found a place where we understand how much it hurts to lose a beloved pet. Far more than a "pet", a precious member of the family. Our dear Pepe has been gone almost two months now. Some days are a little easier now but so many things remind me of him. When I walk to the park he used to love so much my eyes still fill with tears. I have his pictures on a shelf by my side in the computer room, along with the beautiful wood box that contains his ashes. I feel especially sad for you as it was just you and your dear Kuma. Be kind to yourself and take the time you need to grieve.