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choochoo

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Posts: 115
 #1 
Just put my 17 year old pug Jaylo to sleep.I have so much pain and guilt.She had many health problems bad arthritis in her legs and spine would fall and have trouble getting up.Her enlarged heart was pressing near her trachea causing her to have trouble breathing mostly .She has dementia almost blind. where she will get stuck in corners and try to hide in corners.She would pace back and forth and seems confused not sure if pain or anxiety.Her meds were helping a bit but less and less.She couldn't get up to poop so she would lie in it and cry.she peed also this way but did still pee outside but her lasix made her pee so much.She would whine and cry at night sometimes during the day.She still was eating and drinking good loved to eat always.She had a good night last night slept all through which made me doubt if I should let her go but the prior week she would be up at night with breathing problems which scared me.She didn't look happy though but did get excited when she ate but otherwise she would wander and seem so confused and sad.I still don't know if I made right choice it really hurts the pain of losing her is so much I can't even reason.still I'm thinking why did I end her life she was just walking in my house now she's gone.has anyone felt this of gone thru similar decisions.sorry rambled on but I'm so sad now.thanks for listening
Shawna1978

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Posts: 2
 #2 
Choochoo, it definitely doesn't sound she had a happy life near the end, and that you did her a favor. I'm sorry to be so blunt. Our babies count on us to make the right decisions for them, since they can make so few themselves. And we HAVE to take that responsibility for them, no matter how hard it is for us. You made the right choice.

It has been 9 days since you posted this, and I hope you are feeling a little better now. Sending you lots of love.
choochoo

Registered:
Posts: 115
 #3 
Thank you Shawna for your reply and honest opinion.It helps to hear that I may have done what I had to do for sure.I am feeling just a little better about what happened but miss my little Pug.I know she was old and never gonna get better but just wanted her here a little longer.But that may have been at her expense as she wasn’t happy though she was walking around and still eating she was mostly confused most likely in some pain and lying in her poop and urine was getting worse.She could still be here but I don’t think she would be happy with all her health problems.I still will have doubts but in time hopefully get get past the guilt.Just having to make that choice seems so cruel to do for a pet I loved.thank you again and anyone else who listened or wants to respond.

Cinny2020

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Posts: 3
 #4 
Hello there. I am so sorry for your loss. You definitely did the right thing. It seems to be so obvious that others did the right thing when we read their stories, yet we are so hard on ourselves when we face similar circumstances. I had to make the terrible and gut wrenching decision to put my 18 year old orange tabby named Cinnamon down on 8/10. She had diabetes, hyperthyroid, hypertension and IBD that I was able to treat for 8 years. We spent 2 hours a day on morning and evening meds. She was my love and my life. I don’t have kids, so she was my daughter. She had been slowing down and I noticed that she would have a hard time in the litter box and would sometimes cry out and fall backwards and strain since she had bad arthritis in her back legs. She also started hiding in the closet and under my bed and didn’t want to be with me much anymore. The morning got bad when she peed outside of the box and started circling around the coffee table and wandered behind the air conditioner staring at the wall. It was the hardest decision of my life.
choochoo

Registered:
Posts: 115
 #5 
It is so hard to watch our loved pets get old and sick and hurt and we can only watch helpless.when they have to poop and pee on themselves and they just look so confused as to what’s happening it’s just heartbreaking.I see your cat like my pug werent happy anymore and suffering to some degree no one can be sure of but they weren’t living like a cat or dog should live like.so much anxiety and hurting and struggling just is not fair to make them go on .I would have loved to keep my pug here but she seemed so unhappy confused and scared most of the time.She was eating and drinking well although had to hand feed her noodles in the end so yes guess always wonder if she could have stayed longer but to see her in her condition was so hard.I think she desereved not to suffer anymore even though I would still have her with me today it just didn’t seem fair to her.This really is brutal to go thru and think about but it’s the price we pay for all the love and happiness they give us. I’ll suffer again to have such a loving pet to share life with.having to put them to sleep is so painful yet frees them so trying to think that way take care all
 
Cinny2020

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #6 
Thank you so much for your reply. I have been in so much pain and agony over making the decision to end her life. I just wanted to scoop her up and take her home and magically think that more medication would fix the problem and she would have more time with me. But I know that would be selfish of me to do when she was getting physically and mentally weaker and hurting. My worst fear was to come home from work and find her under my bed passed away and not have been there for her if she was in pain. My vet said she waited a week too long to help her dog pass and she suffered more than she should have. I could not have that happen to my beautiful Cinnamon girl. She deserved a peaceful and dignified passing as much as it hurt me to the depth of my being.
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