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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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Posts: 167
I lost my cat on 8 Dec 2017. She had developed squamous cell carcinoma in her mouth and I had to put her down. Since then, I have spent a few hours everyday in tears about this, and just seem unable to move past her death. It has been some 270 days of me being in tears daily over this pet's death! Everytime the thought of her comes to mind, I just break down in tears. I have never experienced such a prolonged spell of grief and neither had I been so prone to tears before this.
This started me on a journey to find out more, and from sites like this, I discovered that 1) many, many other people had experienced prolonged grieving over the loss of their pets, and I was really not unique in this way, and 2) there was this 'hidden' world community of people like me, all still grieving for the death of their pets, in spite of the passage of months and even, years of time.
This experience has been novel and an eye opener for me. This prolonged grieving, sadness, crying is like nothing I have experienced before, so I couldn't really draw on my past experiences to come to grips with it (and btw I am an old guy). If it hadn't happened to me, I doubt I would understand this type of 'disenfranchised grief', much less be sympathetic to people going through it.
However, I must wonder whether this experience so many of us are going through is just a normal kind of thing or are we all in clinical depression and perhaps needing some professional help? Without professional intervention, would we be able to get back to an even keel and our normal selves, or would we just continue to be sad or depressed for the next 5 to 10 years?
We loved our pets so much and I'm sure we are all so thankful for our time with them. But at the same time, I'm sure many of us never knew that the grieving process was going to be so hard and prolonged. I hope we could at least shed some light on this experience from our collective sufferings...

Posts: 4,779
They say with great love comes great grief. For me, it was months before I was any semblance of my normal self, and still, even today after 6 years, those moments come of great sadness over the loss of my boy, Harry. I think that "normal" is different for each person. Your cat was your companion, your friend, your family. How can you not feel so much grief over her loss? I am doing better, and I was able to open my heart and my home to some rescue cats, and they bring me a lot of joy. They in no way replace my Harry, but, they have all found a place in my heart. Remember there is no time limit on grief. Have you thought of maybe volunteering some of your time to a shelter, and opening your heart to those that need some love.
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