Registered: 1549468219 Posts: 3
I played a role in the untimely death of my ex-girlfriend's most well behaved, unique, loving, softest and most adorable cat. Her cat was a brown tabby that showed up at her door 12 years ago with a tail injury which resulted in him having a short stumpy tail (cutest thing). He was about 6 months old, half a year after her bull terrier passed. He lived in that same house his whole life, eventually accompanied by a hyper active jack russel terrier, which is 6 years old now. The cat spent time outdoors protecting his property and also time inside being cute and cuddly. Only medical issue was a hand injury which was treated many years ago. Two years ago, I moved into their house, along with my 12 year old FIV positive cat. On numerous occasions they had gotten physical so I'm pretty sure her cat got infected. I did mention to her that my cat had FIV. I moved out with my cat a year later and her cat hadn't been tested for FIV. Another year later, 5 months ago, her mom found a condo and the whole gang moved. This past Friday, with no prior symptoms other than possibly hiding in other rooms, her cat didn't want to eat and she noticed him breathing awkwardly, with stomach contractions. She took him to the vet and they said he had fluid in his lungs. His situation got worse as he wasn't responding well to their treatment and started choking and foaming at the mouth so they had no choice but to euthanize him. I've seen countless articles online relating FIV and HIV to cardiomyopathy (weakening of the heart). I'm in a very strange situation where I'm responsible for causing heart break yet comforting her for it at the same time. It feels very wrong. My 12 year old tabby has been living with FIV for over 5 years and he's fine. He's moved with me over 10 times. He's a little troublemaker, yet it was her cat that got the heart failure. I just don't understand why the good ones have to get taken and the bad ones are the lucky ones who get to stick around. It should be my cat that's dead and not hers. She's in a tough part of her life right now, she doesn't have much friends, is caring for her ill mom who has a neurological disease, struggling financially and with her own health, and now her best little furry pal just died. There could be a chance that the heart disease was hereditary but the FIV infection definitely makes things worse. And I know her cat should've been getting yearly check-ups as he's an older cat but he appeared healthy and she just has way too much to deal with already. I just feel terrible. I've had a breakdown at work Monday and again driving home yesterday and today here I am sharing my story on a message board, hoping for something, but I know nothing will bring the poor little guy back. Thanks for your time reading my heart breaking, life ruining story.
Registered: 1529423348 Posts: 167
The death of any cat is sad enough as it is, but it seems to me that you could be jumping to unwarranted conclusions. Firstly, it was never known whether your friend's cat got FIV from your cat even if they did scrap sometimes. Even if that did happen, there is no proof that the FIV directly caused the cat's death. FIV could predispose a cat to all manner of diseases such as cancer, renal failure etc but cats without FIV also frequently succumb to these same diseases.
There is no good grounds for your conclusions at all. Furthermore, your own cat which has FIV for an even longer time does not have the heart and lung problems your friend's cat did. There is no need to beat yourself up over this sad event. Rather just try to support and help your friend as much as you can in this very difficult and challenging situation.