Registered: 1531611915 Posts: 1
My beagle mutt, Gypsy Vanner (like the horse. She didn't respond to any other name, the goob), was hit by a car 2 and a half days ago. It was a very busy morning and she got out and.... well, she was at the edge of the yard and the driver was distracted.
She was my only family. 8 years, and she never left my side. I can count on one hand how many times I slept somewhere without her. Through homelessness and constant moving, she stood by me. Through miscarriage and the death of friends and my mother... She was there. Always there. And now she's not. I can't sleep. I spend most of the nights sobbing and screaming and begging for her to come back. I have regular anxiety attacks. I cry or get angry for absolutely no reason. ... I've never experienced a pain this deep before. I can't connect to my daughter or boyfriend--I feel empty around them and experience no affection for them. I feel like the entire world has changed. Most of all, I don't even feel like the same person. It's as if... I'm missing the good parts of me. I'm entirely alone without her. Even with there being so many around me who love me... She was the only who made me feel complete.
Registered: 1392656387 Posts: 93
Lullaby I can totally relate to your feelings. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my boy Dickens just 3 days ago to an unknown illness. He was 13. I cry all the time, I can't function. I have other pets I can't relate to. Dickens was my joy. He was with me all the time. He and I communicated. And now it's all gone. I've been through this before and don't know if I can survive this. It's just so painful. I don't want to see anyone or do anything. I want you to know you're not alone. Somehow it gets better but it takes time. Be good to yourself and don't let anyone tell you how to grieve or how long it should take. Do what you need to do.
Wishing you peace. Skmk
Registered: 1528822716 Posts: 9
Lullaby...you are not alone...we who have lost our beloved pets understand the pain and loneliness...others just don't understand and think there is a mental problem.. we who share your grief and our own know exactly what your going thru...life will never be the same without our beloved pets. Just take it day by day.. from those who do understand.... Pam
Registered: 1531202970 Posts: 106
Lullaby, I remember when my first dog died at age 15; I got that goofy puppy "free puppies" out of a box when I was 24. The dog was at my side through a marriage, my husband leaving me and ensuing heartbreak, frisky single days, a new job, being broke, travels, a new man, settling down. When he died, I was heartbroken. It occurred to me recently that dog was at my side through a time in my long-ago younger years that had so much change; so many highs and lows. I sobbed into that dogs neck more times than I can recall; and enjoyed his good nature with hikes and laughs. They really do mark times of our lives -- unconditional love and attention no matter what is happening.
I am now 64 and just loss my third dog (she was 14). It never gets easier; in fact her death has hit me the hardest. Like you, I miss her so much that at times I feel like I cannot breathe. It has been 3+ weeks since she passed and it is still hard -- but it is a bit easier; I am not crying as often; I feel like I am coping a bit better. So hang in there -- it's so fresh for you. Know we all support you and understand how you feel.