Registered: 1210699349 Posts: 9
I had to put my little chihuahua to sleep yesterday. He was about 14 years old, but will always be my baby. My mother in law and I had "joint custody" :-) and it was a heartbreaking decision for us to make.
We took him to the park yesterday morning, and fortunately, the sun was shining. He got to take in all the wonderful smells, sights and sounds. We made paw prints in clay and then took him to the vet. Pulling into the vet's office was the hardest thing I ever had to do. All I wanted to do was run screaming the other way! It was the most peaceful way to go, and I think he had a really great last day, but I can't stop being so sad. I just keep crying. I feel like I have to keep my sadness a little to myself as people expect you to get over a pet quickly. I am trying to work today, but all I want to do is curl up on the couch. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone, and I am not crazy for being this sad about losing my dog.
Registered: 1194492978 Posts: 5,100
I am so sorry you have had to say farewell to your beloved little chihuahua. Making that decision is the most difficult thing for us to do, but in the end, we know our babies have been totally liberated from their suffering. But, how our hearts miss them when they go!
We would never think you are crazy for being so sad about losing your dog. Dogs, and other furbabies, are family members who love us unconditionally, so it is only natural that our grief is very intense and protracted. And, who cares what others think? This is YOUR loss, not theirs.
There are so many people on this website who have walked in your shoes. Please lean on us if it will help.
Hugs, Melissa Betsy's forever mom
Registered: 1201648552 Posts: 846
I'm so sorry for your loss. You're most definitely NOT crazy to be so sad. We love our pets so much. They give us their very all, and they ask for so little in return. Anyone who doesn't know that hasn't experienced the wonderful gift of a pet, or they shouldn't have pets in the first place. They're such a huge part of our lives. I know your pain is very deep and new right now, but feel free to cry all you want. Let it out, it's good - it's part of healing. I can't believe you're at work. I couldn't work for days after Luna and Gypsy passed. We all handle grief differently and it's going to take some time before you feel somewhat normal again. But in time it will get better. Just know that your baby is at peace and is happy and whole at the bridge and loves you very much. Your baby is also with you always - in your heart. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Gerlie - Luna13 (Luna and Gypsy's forever mom)
Registered: 1210699349 Posts: 9
Thank you so much for your kind words. I feel like there is a fist turning my insides right now.
I knew this day would come, however, I guess I just wanted to believe he would be with us forever. It is just so hard to believe he is really gone. I was with him when he passed. I didn't want to see it, but I felt he deserved to have me there with him. He would have left me alone, not in a never million years. Sounds crazy, but I worry, did he know what we were planning? Did he feel betrayed? Did it REALLY not hurt, like the vet said? On his "good days" was he trying to show us that he could make it just a bit longer? I still remember when he was small enough to fit in my palm! He was the smartest animal I have ever seen, and at times, I thought of him as a human trapped inside a little 5lb chihuahua body. He knew me better than anyone. I have ripped myself apart with guilt for every time I didn't have enough time to spend with him, or he spent too long home alone if I stayed late at work. I am sure this is part of the normal grief process, but it doesn't make it any easier. I have to pick up his ashes tomorrow from the vet, and I am afraid it will be more than I can bear...