Registered: 1552968037 Posts: 2
It’s been three months and I’m struggling every day. Some days are awful, some days are better. Trying to make dietary changes and other positive changes. I’m mom so I tried to be strong because the whole family is grieving. And during the end process I didn’t want my furry angel to see me cry so I tried to be tough for her, Since she was very alert but very ill.
I feel guilty for thinking how it may be a relief when this is over, relieved for both of us since she hated getting her meds four times a day and I hated forcing her meds. She was only 12 lbs and it took two of us most of the time to get it down. Never wished her away just wished she wasn’t sick. Chemo pill worked great and gave us two months of a healthier girl plus some Cbd oil. We called her our perpetual puppy during her whole life and could never imagine our family without her. What I couldnt also imagine is the impact, how much I would miss her, they literally take a chunk of our soul with them. Ive lost humans in the past but it’s not the same feeling. Not even close. I realize too that I could blow any stupid bs off when she was here. Now not so much. Dogs and pets in general are magical that way. I will consider another dog in about a year when I’m not such a mess. Our family is not ready for it now. She was my baby girl for almost 17 years. No matter what age they are or how long you have them, you’re never ready to let go.
Registered: 1547824454 Posts: 37
Roxys Mum , I'm so sorry for your loss and the way you are feeling , I'm with you too having lost my beautiful collie Berry on New years eve. You phrased that very well when you say that loosing our beloved pets takes a chunk from our soul. I'm not sure how or when life gets better and I too struggle every day, in fact I think I'm feeling worse each day ! If you have any coping strategies please let me know. My thoughts are with you, hopefully this site can help all of us grieving.
Registered: 1552968037 Posts: 2
Im so so sorry for the loss of your precious baby. Just yesterday a friend of mine texted me "it gets better, I promise". I thought, ok, when? She lost her baby seven years ago. BUT it gave me hope for the first time since we lost her. Of all the talks and advice I was given and sympathy, that resonated with me finally. It gave me hope. Im changing my diet to plant based to see if that helps the physical pains and issues that I've felt since she passed. I was pretty iron clad until I lost her. The things that I am doing that do work for me most days are: First thing in the morning, I listen to Les Brown on YouTube. He's so inspiring and his story is amazing but I also listen to others. Im also doing things for myself, even little things because we need self love, especially now. Small diy projects, planting something indoors or outdoors, donating to animals in need, taking up collections for animals in need, anything I can do to help others now because I cannot adopt another angel now, I wouldnt be my best self and need time for myself to heal because I am broken. Not easy to admit, but saying goodbye broke me. BUT most broken things can be fixed. It's a battle everyday. I was lucky enough to be home with her and work from home and when she got sick in June I was lucky enough to care for her 24/7 I'm sure that's one of the reasons my family is doing better than I am. Being with friends or family members that understand is good too, they may not be as dog crazy as I am and not the best pet parents on the planet (I try not to judge) , but they will be positive people that I only have good times with. Just now Im moving from that isolation period but only with easy people to be around. This board is good medicine too. 24/7 venting and people that understand. There are in person pet loss support groups, not in my area but they are out there, those are valuable too and my vet recommended them too. Leaving my comfort zone is a big one that has worked as well. Joining a group with people I didn't know, it doesn't always work out and I think I wasnt ready but doing something to build yourself is helping. Life changes I suppose. Thanks for listening. I hope you have a great day today.