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griefstricken

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Posts: 601
 #1 
I am absolutely devastated. I joined this forum 6 years ago when my Ferret Bella died. I never thought I would have to be on here again talking about another animal so soon. I got Benji (Yorkie/Maltese Mix) in August 2015. He saved me when I was going through a very hard time losing Bella. He is everything to me. Last week he fell ill very suddenly and had to stay in the hospital for a few days. Long story short he was diagnosed with Lung Cancer and has issues with his gallbladder. The gallbladder is operable but the Vet said that it wouldn't make sense to do that operation because of the cancer in the lung and because of that it would make the surgery that much more risky. My heart is broken in a million pieces. I am gonna completely fall apart when I lose him. All I do is cry. He is home now. The Vet said he can come home and I can give him Hospice care. I have different medications to give him. Pain pills etc. He ate the other day for the first time in a week. Today he didn't get up when I tried to get him up for food, water and medicine. he is just laying down. I don't know what to do. I am so very heartbroken. My life is falling apart. Along with this I am dealing with not being able to visit my Mother at the Nursing Home for almost two months now. I am so very afraid that I will never see her again. How much can a person take. I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown. I pray so much and the more I pray the worse things get. I must go for now I am crying too much.

Donna
SimbaMom

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Posts: 13
 #2 
Dear Donna,

I have not posted here often, but I have been following posts since my beloved bichon frise, Simba, died of lung cancer in March 2014. It was only six weeks between her diagnosis and the terrible day I had to let her go.

I am so sorry for all of the grief you are going through. The anticipatory grief is heartbreaking, and the grief of actually losing your fur baby is worse. Having all of this happen while you can’t see your mother is a frightfully heavy burden to bear.

Please try to take care of yourself. Treasure every moment with Benji. He knows how much you love him.

I hope hearing from someone who has been down the same path gives you some comfort.

SimbaMom
griefstricken

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Posts: 601
 #3 
Hello SimbaMom

So sorry it took so long for me to write back to you. Things have been stressful. Benji is hanging in there but I am so scared everyday worried what will happen next. I am so sorry that you loss your precious Simba to this horrible illness. I love my Benji so much I am so scared about this Thank you for your support I greatly appreciate it as you see you are the only one that took the time to respond to my post. Back in 2014 when I lost my ferret Bella I got much better support on here. Oh well.

Take care, Stay safe and well

Donna
SimbaMom

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Posts: 13
 #4 
Hello Donna,

It is too bad the 2014 group has moved on. I didn’t post, but reading what they posted back then and through the years gave me so much comfort.

I’ll be thinking of you and Benji and also your mother. Please let me know how you’re all doing.

One thing that helped me was to keep some of Simba’s fur. I put some of it with a picture of her in a locket. The locket is on a bracelet that I still wear every day.

Take care,
SimbaMom
brenrae

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Posts: 4,776
 #5 
Donna,

I am sorry to hear this. I know it is hard for you right now. With Benji's illness, and not being able to see your mom. I know it is a stressful time right now, and it can be harder if there is no emotional support. I remember how hard it was for you to lose Bella, and now, with Benji having health problems. I guess the best you can do is keep praying, and try to make each day as good as you can for your baby. It breaks my heart to know you are going through this. I will pray for you and your baby.
ourbrandy

Registered:
Posts: 1,010
 #6 
Oh Donna, I am so sorry to hear of Benji's illness.  I know how much he helped you through the loss of Bella.  All I can say is just hang in there and try to enjoy each day you have with him.  These losses are just so hard to bear...our furbabies are angels on earth, sent to teach us about love and kindness.

I don't come here very often any more but when I saw your post I just had to respond. Please know that I am thinking of you and sending prayers of comfort your way.

Barb (Angel Brandy's and Angel Miriam's mom - and now mom to Bree)
~forever~
griefstricken

Registered:
Posts: 601
 #7 
Hello Brenrae and Barb

I thank you both so very much for taking the time to reply to my post and offer support. I greatly appreciate it. It is very hard for me to go through this. I love Benji so much. He is a true blessing to me. As of now he is stable. still eating. Has good days and not so good days. I am so afraid each day not knowing what will happen next.

Again it is great to hear from both of you. As I stated previously on here, its not the same support that I received when Ii first joined in 2014 for my Bella. Bless you both 

Hugs to both of you and your Angel Babies and Earthly Babies

stay safe, be well
Donna
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