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hershdad

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Posts: 3
 #1 
Tuesday I had to put to sleep my 8.5 lb. miniature poodle. She was 13 years old and survived mast cell cancer, living with CHF when she got liver cancer. She had many illnesses we attended to. I work at home so we were always together. She was like a daughter I never had.I know it's just day 3 but I cry uncontrollably, can't sleep and the grief is overwhelming. My heart is broken and the house is so empty. I can't stop thinking about her. Any ideas? I am thinking of selling our house because there are so many memories of her here.
doglife

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Posts: 69
 #2 
I am so very sorry that you lost your precious girl.
In answer to ypur question, should I sell the house I can only tell you what I know of grief, & they say to never make any rash decisions while in the midst of intense grief. You may seriously regret that decision even a few months down the road.

Losing our fur family is sometimes harder taken than losing a human family. Not that it’s not painful it’s just different . Like you said your dog was it like your daughter and they say that dogs are like children so that is something that is very real that you were feeling the utter grief & pain of a great loss. Like you said she was with you every day .

I know that the memories are so painful in the beginning that it is hard to even look at a picture and it is even hard to look at their collar, leash or their toys. I know because I’ve been there and just recently too. I will tell you that is going to hurt terribly for a while , but it definitely does get better in time . And in time you will want her memories around you, they are what will keep you connected to her forever . I know you are hurting deeply & even after 6 weeks of losing my Getman Shepherd in expectantly, she was healthy & only almost 8, I still think @ her every day. In The beginning I was like you and I literally did not want to get out of bed because the pain was so heavy on my chest . I also work out of my house so I was with her every day of her life since the day that we brought her home as a puppy . She was my guardian and she was my best friend . But now that some time has passed the greif has changed. I want to talk @ her now, I want to look at all her pictures & videos. I want to remember how she would only go up on the couch & take a quick nap, only if she thought no one was looking. Every where I look I see her memory.
You will get to that place, just give it some time.
Set up a little memorial of all her stuff & keep it in a special place. Remember the happy times.
I am so sorry for your loss. You will heal in time.
I pray for peace & comfort & I Hope you feel her spirit all around you. She’s still with you, just in a different way.
Doggie hugs & kisses
Jada’s mom
hershdad

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Posts: 3
 #3 
Hi Jada's Mom., 

Thank you so much for your post. Helps so much to hear what you went through and gives me hope I will come out on the other side of this.


doglife

Registered:
Posts: 69
 #4 
Your welcome. And you will heal. There will always be memories that may trigger pain , but I’m hoping like you , that eventually instead of pain, it will be turn into a place of happy , loving memories.
Like today a piece of a carrot fell on the floor & I remembered how Jada would’ve eaten that right up before the other 2 would even notice it hit the floor. Today it sat on the floor & nobody gobbled it up. I immediately teared up , but I didn’t start wailing, so it’s a baby step forward. The memory was bittersweet. My older male GSD would normally have eaten the carrot, but he’s not doing well. And I learned that her younger brother Zeus only ate the carrots because she did. He doesn’t care for them.
I loved how she used to follow me around in the kitchen & be my little vacuum cleaner.
When you’re ready , I’d love to hear a happy memory of your baby girl.
Still in the greiving process here too.
I wish you well.
Jada’s mom
hershdad

Registered:
Posts: 3
 #5 
Hi Jada's Mom,

Please keep posting to me as you are able. So helpful. I look forward to painful memories being happy ones. One thing girl would do was climb up my chest and wash my face and sometime an ear two. I have also smelled her scent since she has been gone and the other night she woofed right at the side of my bed.
doglife

Registered:
Posts: 69
 #6 
Hershdad,

Thank you for sharing the memory.  I am glad it is helping you.    You made me remember a sweet & funny  memory of my girl Jada.   There were times when Jada ,  would step on our chest with one paw and strap us down and do a very thorough licking of our face, every inch of it.  And if I started laughing , she would lick harder.  It was too funny not to laugh.  And when I saw her do it to my husband, I would tell her to lick his ears, and she would and it would tickle him so bad, but he couldn't get up because she was 78lbs strong as an ox, stepping on him.   She loved to make us laugh, I swear , that when she got me to laugh, that she would nod her head and smile as if to say, " I did my job",  I made my mom laugh".    I love remembering these times. 

Did your girl do any other funny things just to make you laugh?  I would love to hear about them.      When I think about some of the things that Jada did to make me laugh, I start to chuckle. 

That is so awesome that you smelled her scent and she woofed,  she is showing you that she is still next to you in spirit.  She's watching over you.  That is magical.  I have only seen Jada twice in a dream and it was seconds before I woke up.  It was as if she was actually there by my side of the bed, getting up as she always did the second she heard me get up.  I would see those beautiful eyes staring at me and her happy face smiling as if to say, ' I've been waiting mom, glad you're up, now lets get this party started",  every day was a party to her, because she found ways to entertain herself all day long.  She was such a one of a kind dog.  I love seeing her in my dreams but it's too short of a time.

I made a butterfly garden for her in my garden this year.  I planted all kinds of flowers that butterflies are attracted to.  Jada used to chase the butterflies when they came in our yard.  So in honor of her memory, I want to attract as many butterflies as I could to my yard.   I also got some solar lights that are butterflies.  It turned out really nice.  Although the mosquitos are so bad that I can rarely go out in my backyard.

Hope each day you can  exchange a tear for a smile.  I'm trying to, but I'll admit it's not always easy.  I still get choked up really easily.  Like even when I read your post about your Girl.   Some tears were shed, but I also smiled and laughed, so that's good.  It's not bad to cry.  It releases what needs to be released.   It just shows how very much you loved your Girl and I loved mine.
Jada's mom

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