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Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
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Posts: 1
I had to have my dear, old Jack Russell mix, Willow, euthanized April 17, due to complications from long term liver disease. Then, this Monday June 1, i had to say goodbye to my cat Leo- who was dying from kidney failure. They have both been my comfort, my friends, my family, my constant loyal companions for 15 years. I was just bereft when Willow died, but now losing Leo too...its almost more than i can bear. With social distancing (lack of social contact and hugs right now), and all the grievous things happening in the country this last week or so...I feel like i just want to crawl in a hole and not come out. It's a terribly lonely and strange time anyway, and now with my house so empty and quiet, no old pup to walk, no gentle old furball to jump in my lap...i'm so devastated. I'm not ready to open up to another animal right fact, there are few animals available- just pit bulls, "not good with children or other animals". 
Any thoughts, any advice, anyone lose two pets in such a short time when they were unable to socialize much in person with people? 

Posts: 8
I haven't lost two pets but I recently lost my baby named Buddy in a car accident. I know how you feel especially with the whole quarantine situation going on now. Being home and not seeing them there is heartbreaking. He passed away about more than a month ago but it feels like it just happened yesterday. I see his presence everywhere I'm not used to not doing our routine where I no longer take him out for walks or feed him anymore. I also feel the same way about not opening up to another animal. Buddy was my first REAL pet and I miss him so much. Buddy was a jack Russel mix and pit bulls are wonderful dogs but they are also a bigger breed so it's quite different. I'm so sorry for your loss especially since you lost two of your loves in such a short time, I feel for you. I say you should wait until your ready to welcome a pet into your home. I wish you the best and a healthy healing 

Posts: 1,191
I am so very sorry you are going through this. I can completely relate to what you are saying - I lost my Thomas back on March 5 and then Rufus on June 18. Thomas was 24 when he passed away, but we'd only been together for a touch under 3 years. Rufus, on the other hand, had been my boy for all but 1 of his 15 years. We had just celebrated his 14th Gotcha Day anniversary about 3 weeks before he passed away. And he was my last connection to the first two cats I had as an adult, so his passing was doubly painful because it marks the end of an era, so to speak, in my life.

For me, I decided to try to be busy to help get through the immediate weeks following my losses. I usually plant something in honor of my pets, so I have created memorials spaces in a couple of my gardens for both Thomas and Rufus. Thomas' memorial shrub is a coral colored peony that is going in the sunniest garden I have. It is right under my bedroom window. I have a window perch in my bedroom and Thomas used to love to hang out on that perch and watch the world go by. So it is only fitting that his memorial shrub be planted right under that window. 

Rufus' memorial shrub is planted under a window in my dining room which is in the front of my house. I used to come home and look into that window and see Rufus waiting for me. He would also call out to me from that window with his unique meow as i did yard or garden work. It really does hurt to come home and not see him there anymore, but at least his shrub will be there to welcome people to my home in the future, just like he used to do when he was alive.

In addition to the memorial shrubs, I am creating memorial spaces inside my home for both boys. The spaces will go up on wall shelves above my bed. They will have their urns, their collars, a picture of each cat and other things that remind me of them. I think I will also get a flameless candle for each boy to light when I go to bed at night.

When my beloved Blackie died, I wrote in a journal I created for him. I just wrote down my thoughts and memories of our time together. I no longer write in the journal, but it is bittersweet to go back and read the memories I captured. I do not have many pictures of Blackie, so this is one way I can keep his memory alive. And now, over 10 years after he passed away, I can finally smile when I read about those memories, many of which I had forgotten by now.

Anyhow, those are some of the things that have helped me cope when I've had to say goodbye to my pets over the years. For me, I tried to stay as busy as I could and just give it time to help me get used to the finality of their passing and their absence in my life. If you have somebody you can talk to about Willow and Leo, that also helps. Coming here also helped a lot - there was always somebody here ready to listen, no matter how much time had passed or what I had to say that day. 

I hope you will be able to get the same kind of support in your life as you navigate your world without Willow and Leo in it...

Hugs to you

Mom to angel cats Blackie, Squeeker, Thomas and now Rufus

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