Registered: 1596807435 Posts: 2
Yesterday I had to put down my best friend. She was a seven year old border collie mix. I got her six years ago, and she had been through two traumatic abuse situations. The first day I adopted her, she clung to me and I to her and we were inseparable. A few years down the line, I got married and she LOVES her dad. Not as much as me of course, but he was a close second. Quickly after, we had our first baby and we had initial concerns that she would be aggressive with the baby but didn't think about it because nothing happened.
A little background on my girl, is she does have a bite history. She has bitten several men out of fear and had one situation where she jumped the fence of my old home and bit a man that was on my driveway. We built a taller privacy fence for her- anything to keep her safe. We spent thousands on dog behavior therapists through the years, she was on Prozac, dog CBD, everything we could for her. Despite her fears, we loved her, she was perfect for my husband and I. Sweet, funny, loving. Fast forward a year and our baby is mobile and obsessed with the dog. We kept them separated as much as possible. The dog loved her. Licked her feet and always had to be around her. I'm pregnant again and have been incredibly sick. I had to run to the bathroom as I was getting sick and for the first time ever I left the dog and the baby alone and I hear a yelp. The baby, who loves the dog, jumped on her and the dog bit her face. A level 3 bite- 4 punctures and bruising. My husband always said if she bites the baby, we can't keep her. I was inconsolable when my husband came home. I begged to keep her, until her last breathe, I begged. We reached out to many rescues, but they wouldn't take her because of her bite history, and her separation anxiety. The only choice was to put her down. Yesterday, was the hardest day of my life. The night before she got pancakes, ice cream, a cheeseburger, a 2 hour walk, a photo shoot. It was the best night for her. I can't be in my house right now because I'm too sad without her here. my husband and I are having such a hard time with this. We feel horrible for saying things like "we wish we waited a few years to have kids, so the dog could be happy with just us", and sometimes its hard to see our daughter, knowing we made this sacrifice for her and it will mean nothing to her. I know this is the grief talking and we obviously would always put our daughter first, but it's just whats in my head and heart right now.
Registered: 1587490891 Posts: 12
I am so sorry that you all had to go through this. It sounds like you made her life wonderful and you made sure her last moments would be wonderful and peaceful. My words won't mean much now. Let yourself grieve, it was a hard and painful thing to go through. Please allow yourself time to grieve...in time you will be able to smile in her memory. I recently lost my dog due to aggression, and I can't forgive myself. It was the worst and hardest decision of my life. I never wanted to let him go. I bought a star for him....from the international star registry and I dedicated it on the day he passed. That helped me memorialize him, and now he will ALWAYS be up there and no one can take that away from me.
I am so sorry again for your loss and that you are in pain. be kind to yourself.
Registered: 1596807435 Posts: 2
Thank you so much for posting this! I appreciate your kind words. I’m sorry you had to go through the same thing. Sometimes I feel like when we have to lose our dogs over aggression, we get judged because we gave up, when really we gave it our all- if not more. I would’ve done anything to keep her here with me.
Thank you for the beautiful idea on the star. That’s an amazing way to always remember your sweet dog. I will definitely look into that. Thank you again for your kind thoughts, and I hope you are being kind to yourself as well :)
Registered: 1596856640 Posts: 4
I’m so sorry you went through this, I’m going through this too - we put our 5 year old Pomeranian to sleep a few hours ago due to aggression and having a new baby in the house and I’m absolutely torn to bits. It’s currently 4am and I’m wide awake crying and trying to find anything to make me feel better. It’s so difficult when you have a little baby around - me and my husband had learnt how to manage our boy and avoid his triggers (mostly although not all the time) and I naively thought I could keep him managed enough the rest of his life so he wouldn’t attack anyone but how can you explain to a young baby or child to avoid touching the dog? Our baby is 7 months old now and so interested in Maurice, I knew eventually it could end in disaster. When Maurice was aggressive it was a full on attack and nothing would stop him unless he ran out of steam so we made the tough decision to let him go.
I’m not sure I have any words to make you feel better as I’m looking for them myself, just know that you are not alone and deep down we know it was the right choice - for them and for us. It doesn’t make it any easier, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself even though I tried everything for Maurice.