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swimmer01

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Posts: 5
 #1 
I just need somewhere to go.  Casey, Rainbow Bridge about a couple of months.  Heart failure.  I feel like I should have taken him home to go to Rainbow Bridge, but I had him euthanized.  They gave him 3-6 months on meds.  He would have died a laborious death.  I let him go and it still hurts.  I feel like I am crazy.  I want him back.  He was a rescue kitty between 5-7 years old...he was beautiful.  I still miss him so.  I can't convey how much it hurts to let go of an innocent animal.  From  the time I brought him home until his last day, this huge 16 and and 1/2 pound kitty was a gentle giant.  Not fat but very large! =)
Gorgeous pet.  My other cat is still lost a senior, she lays in his spot, though I got rid of everything that would remind me of Casey.  They sent me three paw prints of his and fur clippings after he was cremated and spread over a local pet cemetery.  I can't look at them still.

I loved/love this furrbaby.  When will this end?

bomom

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Posts: 5
 #2 
I feel your pain Swimmer01. I'm sorry for your loss. I wish I had more words of advice or wisdom to give you, as I just lost my dog Tuesday the 12th so its been less than a week for me. I still feel lost and sad but was able to remember him today without falling to pieces. I hope you feel better soon, and hopefully someone with more wisdom will have better advice to give you. Until then.. please know you did the right thing. Perhaps telling us more about your Casey will help?  
fostersmommy

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Posts: 893
 #3 
I don't know when it will end, but it will get better.  I think you did a wonderful thing by sparing your kitty a horrible death. Things would have gotten worse and you are a great person for seeing that, knowing that and sending your best friend on his way.
 We all know how much this hurts you, we have been there. 
Mare

Registered:
Posts: 11,059
 #4 
I am sorry your sweet Casey has passed on.  The pain in the early days of loss is unbearable.  You miss your fur baby so much and wonder if you will ever feel joy again.  Time truly is a wonderful healer.  The intense pain will lessen and your heart will begin to heal.  Coming here and talking about your feelings is very beneficial.  Your petloss family understands what you are going through and will be here for you.  Casey is free from pain and enjoying his new home.

Mare
precious Christoph ~ 2 years at the bridge ~

swimmer01

Registered:
Posts: 5
 #5 
Thanks.  I'm sorry for everyone's loss.  I was upset because someone said pets can sometimes be like child replacements...maybe they are right.  He was hard to let go of.  The vet even had a hard time.  I was comforting the comforter!  ;) 

But I know he isn't struggling to breathe anymore.  He is free and out of pain, wherever he is.

xo,

Swimmer

Casey's Story

My rescue kitty trapped and in a small cage...I saw him once pointed out to me by a friend. I left the store immediately because I didn't want anyone to see my tears. It was too soon. I had just lost Cassie. My other cat had not adjusted...the excuses went on and on. Cassie had been with me for 19 years and symbolized so much I had gone through during that time. I couldn't forget yet. I remember wiping her paw marks off of a dusty, outdoor picnic bench. I cried so hard I think the nosy neighbor heard but I didn't care. I felt like 19 years just passed me by instantaneously. I had no idea an animal could mean this much and the suffering she went through, just to ease my mind. I thought I had kept her alive for a year through meds, antibiotics, force feeds and watering...but she did it herself. Until that night she looked at me...I knew.

Two days later I went back. The large cat was still in a cramped cage with a weeks worth of cat littler in a small, pie sized tin. His food was getting low and he had little water. I was on my way to work. I stuck my finger in and he seemed very cautious but he came up to smell and went to the back of the cage and lay down. "How much would it be to hold him for a couple of days?" I asked an attendant who seemed more interested in gossiping with her cohort. "Don't worry...he'll still be here." She said without emotion. I went back that evening to retrieve my "girl" cat. They opened the cage and let me hold "her." She was stiff and I knew wanted to run but allowed me ten seconds of cooing and cuddling. I was sure this was a male. "This is a female correct?" I asked simply because of her size and weight. Three workers stood there, seemingly scratching their chins. Two of them lifted up her tail. "YUP, female. We can cut her claws for you too if you like."

Back in the grooming section I saw about three workers. The one that took my soon to be new cat obviously cared a great deal about her...more on that later. I bought a carrier asked for more info. but they wouldn't give it to me-Just that she has been around for awhile.
I took her out in a cardboard carrier, with various items I had bought to make her stay more comfortable, I had hoped. The older groomer that trimmed her claws came running out in tears. "I just wanted to say good-bye...it's time for you to go home little girl." I let her have her time but her gaze wouldn't meet mine. Another crazy cat lady, I thought to myself. Just like me.

Completely silent on the way home. I kept talking to, the box, I had never had an animal so quiet on a car ride home. I brought her in and praised my other kitty who immediately sensed an unwanted and new presence. I closed my bedroom door and immediately opened the box. My new creature slinked to the ground and immediately dashed under my bed. "Shi-t here we go again." I thought to myself. Everytime I had retrieved a new animal they liked one spot under my bed. The middle. Unreachable. I let her go and put food and water by the bed as I talked baby talk longing to hold my new and huge cat. I had named her Brandi and even had a name tag made for her.

A couple of hours passed as my black, silky kitty sat by the door with her fur standing on end. I pet her vigorously but she looked at me like I had just betrayed her deepest trust. She did, however, soon come back to normal as she always did. I had Jinx from birth and new she was well cared for. I was trying to entertain phone calls and a friend that had stopped by. Finally I was able to check on my Brandi. SHE was laying spread out on the carpet in the middle of a sunbeam. She rolled over on her back as if to say, "thanks for getting me out of that cage." I smiled to myself realizing I didn't make a mistake after all.

A week went by and I took Brandi to the vet. Her carrier was way too small as I had had much smaller kitties. The vet assistant turned the cage face down to get her out. She finally slid out unwillingly onto the towel the vet had provided. "I don't think you have a female cat." She immediately laughed. The vet confirmed that I had a male neutered cat. I renamed him Casey after my Irish heritage and scoffed at the ignorance of animal care chains. 16 pounds and counting.

I know Casey has been abused in the past, just by the way he acts. He finally warmed up to me after a couple of weeks. I was laying on the couch reading and he jumped up on me, lie down and put his head on my shoulder. I have never felt such relief in rescuing an animal.

My Casey 16 pounds and still growing!



Casey was with me a short while.  I kind of wonder if this chain knew he had health problems.  He was so quiet and gentle I just wonder if it was the beginning of his heart troubles.  =***(

Thank you again.


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