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KayG

Registered:
Posts: 18
 #1 
I feel lost, numb and can’t stop crying. My baby Leone died yesterday. He was abandoned in the street when he was about 4 months old and I took him in. We don’t know what happened he was sitting in front garden when I left for the shops. A couple of hours later I got a call from a man saying he found my cat dead. I couldn’t believe it. I asked was he sure he said yes and told me where it was. Only about 10 metres from my house. When I arrived he was on the footpath covered in a cloth. I asked if they had moved him off the road and he said no he found him on the footpath. He looked perfect with only a tiny bit of blood from his mouth and his tongue was hanging out. The man said that he and the man across the street think he was poisoned by eating a poisoned mouse. He did love to catch mice. The street is very quiet with few cars so I think if he was hit someone would have heard or seen it. The most painful part is that recently about 2 months ago I went away on holidays and took him to stay with family to make sure he was safe. He ran away we think to try and make it back home. A lovely lady found and feed him for a month but I never stopped looking and we found him and he came home. The immense joy I felt when I held him I can’t describe. We were together again. I swore to never let him out of the house again and keep him inside for a month but he was unhappy crying and scratching to get out. He was over 3 and had previously been outside before he went missing so against my better judgement I let him out.
I feel so guilty and sick that this happened. If I had just kept him inside he was still be here. I feel like I let him down. Didn’t protect him.
I haven’t stop crying, eaten or gotten out of bed and have no desire to go outside. I feel like I can’t go on. The thing is I moved overseas and all my family and friends are now overseas and I am all alone. He was my companion the one I spent all my time and poured all my love into. When I was down it was him that brought me up with cuddles and purrs. Now I feel so alone and heartbroken.
I just don’t know what to do
scott

Registered:
Posts: 10
 #2 
Kay so to hear about your cat. Mine died just over 3 weeks ago at 10. I only let him go in the back yard supervised so he was an indoor cat. He was at the vet 2 days prior and everything seemed fine. then on Oct 1st he came up to lie beside me like he always does and then keeled over. I rushed him to the vet which is 5 minutes away but he was gone. It seems no matter how much we protect them things happen. Don't blame yourself, if he was used to being outside he would of been miserable to be kept indoors. We have to be thankful for the time and companionship they gave us. Take care
KayG

Registered:
Posts: 18
 #3 
Scott I am so sorry to hear about your cat. You obviously took good care of him and loved him very much.
I have had other cats die but have never felt like this. I feel so lost and lonely. Leone was a special one and loved me like no other. I think he was greatful that I took him off the street when he was a baby and never forgot it. I miss waking up with him looking at me with those big baby eyes. I didn’t know how I am going to keep going without him. My heart hurts so much. I can’t even bear to get out of bed and haven’t stopped crying.
KayG

Registered:
Posts: 18
 #4 
Scott Thank you for your kind words.
I am sorry to hear about your cat you obviously loved him and took great care of him.
I have lost animals before but have never felt like this. Leone was a special one and we had a bond like no other. He was my shadow and followed me everywhere. I think he was grateful that I took him off the street and gave him a home when he was a baby and never forget that. I miss him so much and my pain is so great I just don’t know how I will go on. I can’t even get out of bed or stop crying. I feel so alone and all I want to do is hold him.

Rjc

Registered:
Posts: 1
 #5 
KayG I am very sorry about your cat’s death and the difficult time you are having with it. I lost my 3 year old big, goofy, long haired orange tabby boy on June 25th to Saddle Thrombosis. He died a horrible death. Fine one minute then paralyzed in his hind legs the next. I went out of my mind and screamed In the vet parking lot to my husband to go get my Arnie out of the vet room ( I couldn’t even go in because I knew his chances of survival were slim to none and I couldn’t bear hearing this) because we were not going to euthanize!! I was pulling my hair crying and screaming. I am a very controlled person who has had tragedies and pets die. My Arnie’s death hit me as hard as my mom and brother. I never expected to feel so horrible, angry and lost. I have 3 kids along with my husband and we all loved our big tabby boy so much. I was his hero though. Like yours, Arnie followed me and was constantly at my feet. And the softest fur I have ever felt. I have had many cats. I have lost pets of old age and grieved but nothing compared to my grief with this cat. He was so young and happy. Full of life! He lasted 3 days after his initial blood clot then died in my daughters arms. I screamed again and ran to our room and bawled. It was horrible and 4 months later still is. I get angry at posts about old cats dying because they had a full life where mine got ripped off! I know its not their fault or the owners but I am angry and feel guilt and am plain sad! I loved him so much and he was ripped away from us in a horrible, painful and cruel way to him. They say a cat that throws a blood clot is usually in excruciating pain even though paralyzed and that when it first happens they scream a blood curdling wail. I am thankful I never heard that and hope he didn’t hurt because I was too srlfish to euthanize. I am getting better and so will you. I talk with my kids about him a lot and we all laugh and cry. He was a huge part of our family and I feel crying and agonizing over him is something he deserves! I am sorry this is long but its hard for me to generalize what his death did to me. Heart disease sucks. Good luck and know you are nowhere near alone in your grief.
KayG

Registered:
Posts: 18
 #6 
Rjc
I am so so sorry to hear about your baby boy and the terrible way he passed. My heart is with you and I feel your pain. I can totally sympathise with you. Our story’s are similar. My boy was also a orange tabby and taken so young just over 3. It was such a shock. When cats are old you prepare yourself that their time might come up some day but when they are young you just aren’t prepared. When I left home he was fine and a few hours later he was dead. When I arrived he had already passed. I didn’t get to hold him as he passed. I had expected to spend many more happy years with him by my side. Like your boy he was my everything. I have also had other cats and close family die but never felt like this. The pain is unbearable. Don’t beat yourself up. Your boy died at home with you and being held in your daughters arms passing knowing you loved him. You gave him that gift.
Thank you for sharing your story it really touched my heart because I could relate so well to it.
Kay
Angel_Dawn

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #7 
That's tragic and I am sorry. I lost my big orange tabby at 9 years old of what vets think was a heart related issue. He was with his sister when he died. Came home and found him lifeless on the floor. Hope it was fast.
His sister survived him by 5.5 years and I just lost her to cancer.
Dawn was 14.5 and I think it is unfair that other people's cats live to 20, 22, 23 ...and I lost mine at 14.5. I know old people who have cats that are 20. They feed them crappiest dry foods, hardly ever change their water in their dirty plastic bowls, never take them to the vet and they live forever and I lost my baby at 9 and 14.5 REALLY???! My kitty girl was in too much pain and I had no choice but euthonize. I would never let her suffer.

So, it is relative I guess... to me 14.5 is not old enough ...obviously 3 is still a baby... so sorry!!
KayG

Registered:
Posts: 18
 #8 
Angel Dawn
Thank you.
I am so sorry to hear about your cats. It is so devastating when we lose them. Especially when we try and do everything for them and expect them to live long full lives. It seems so unfair.
Leone was only a baby and I feel robbed. I had thought we would have so many more years together. I am sure you felt the same way. My heart is broken.
I feel your pain. Know that your babies were very loved and that was a beautiful gift you gave them. Even if it was too short.
Angel_Dawn

Registered:
Posts: 22
 #9 
Thank you KayG,
Yes, I always thought that my kitties would live into their 20s Didn't take into consideration genetics.

Truth is no matter how long they live it is never long enough.
Thinking about getting a parrot next that will outlive me. Don't want to die before my baby again.
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