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Rockys_mum

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Posts: 1
 #1 
On Tuesday morning my lovely cat Rocky who was my best friend had to be put to sleep, he was 12 years old. He had IBD for the last three years and was receiving a monthly vitamin B12 injection, a daily steroid tablet and special diet. For a while now the medication wasn’t working so well and he had lost a lot of weight. Two weeks ago the vet gave me some antibiotics for him and for a few days he seemed so much better on them. Last Saturday I felt something wasn’t right he didn’t eat much and wasn’t going to the toilet properly either. The following morning he was worse so took him to the vet and she gave him a steroid injection. The vet told me that if the injection didn’t work that there weren’t many options left. Sadly he got worse and on Tuesday had to make a very heartbreaking decision, I could see he was ill and miserable so he was put to sleep. I feel broken hearted and very guilty. I keep thinking all kinds of things like maybe it was a side effect from the antibiotics that had made him get sicker so quickly or perhaps I could have done something more or asked the vet about a different diet etc.

When my poor Rocky was going to the final trip to the vet to be put to sleep I was too upset to be in the room , so my mom went in with him. My last memory was Rocky looking at me from the cage and blinking in the sunlight as my mom carried the cage. I feel so guilty and keep thinking he must have wanted me there, but I was not brave enough to go in and now this will haunt me for the rest of my life. I just couldn’t bear the thought him passing away and suddenly going limp. Sadly I made the wrong decision and know I should have hugged him until the end.

Rocky was my best friend in the whole world. He had a special personality, I would talk to him and he always looked at me like he knew what I was saying. When I returned from work each day he would be waiting right behind the front door. Now the house feels empty and sad. When Rocky died part of me went too. I can’t stop crying and feeling guilty. I know he was ill but he trusted me and feel as if I led him to his death.
georgesmom

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Posts: 22
 #2 
Rockysmum, so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Rocky.  Our beloved furbabies do know what we are saying and when they look at us they look into our souls.  Your Rocky loved you so much and knew you loved him, and your decision to not go in with him was not wrong, it was how you felt at that time and he will never blame you for that.  You hugged him everyday he was in your life, and though it doesn't feel like enough, he was happy.

I lost my 13 year old kitty, George, a month ago, he had kidney disease and I still wish I could turn back time and change my mind and take him back home.  But he was very ill, he was not the same, he could not eat or drink and he was hurting.  I could not let him feel that pain.  I still feel so much heartache, and I still cry.   It hurts, I know, and nothing can make you feel better right now, nothing you feel is ever wrong.
 

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