Registered: 1509616535 Posts: 2
After lossing my little 4 legged best mate after 13 years it's ripped me to peaces.. the loss I feel has over welmed me with sadness and emtyness.. I find it hard to carry on with out her.. ive not stopped crying. I duluded my self to believe I would be ok.. even planned to go back to work the same day.. what an idiot I am.
I never believed she would go.. I believed after being just me and her for 13 years we would rule the world.. I pictured her with me at Christmas eating her roast dinner even this week at work with me.. I never imagined her gone.. never never never! Even after 3 days I can't come to terms with it.. I smell her.. hear her.. even see her, I can't believe she isn't here..
But.. she's not.. in the end she sufferd with such bad separation anxiety.. my vet I used for 13 years believed she had dementure .. she had to come everywhere with me in her last 3 months.. work, shops, even to the toilet.. we were together 24/7 in the last 3 months but then she stopped eating her breakfast as she ran to the car as soon as I was up scared I was going to leave her and how much I adapted my life to suit this for her I finally saw that this wasn't suiting her... she didn't want to go everywhere in the car.. she just wanted to be near me.. I threw money after money with the vets thinking this was the write thing .. I was happy to carry on untill I looked at her sad face on sunday laying on the bed staring at me.. waiting for any move I made witch in turn led her running to the car thinking I was leaving her.. in reality I was only going to the toilet.. I couldn't watch my little girl go threw this horible stress anymore.. i kept believing she would bounce back.. but she was getting worse.
So Monday morning as she jumped into the car thinking were going to work and didn't expect anything else I said my goodbyes.. I held her in my arms while I felt her body weight fall into my arms whilst she gently went to sleep..
I will love you always Jalo.
Registered: 1509503499 Posts: 16
My heart goes out to you and the pain you are feeling. I am sure you would do anything to have her back, but the old her not the little fur baby you had to let go. I lost my deezie on Sunday when I put him down and he was 14. Similar just him and I did everything and it has left a huge hole in my life and heart. Each day gets a tiny bit better but this is going to take a while. Try to think of the good times.
Much love to you
Registered: 1353903713 Posts: 5
Remember the good times spent with her,you made the right decision you stopped her from suffering because of the love you have for her. It hurts like hell..I know but now she can rest with no suffering. Jalo was blessed to have you as her companion it sounds like you gave her the best 13 years she could ever ask for. The pain of losing your friend is horrible but everyday that passes it will ease..we will never forget them..they will forever be in our hearts and thoughts we just have to remind ourselves of the good days and not the bad..in time your heart and mind will heal and you will focus less on the bad thoughts and more on the happy memories. ❤
Registered: 1509616535 Posts: 2
Thank you to both for such kind words..
Pam my heart goes out to you too.. you must have a big heart.. not only to grieve but to show your support to me too.. I would do anything to have her back.. as sure the same for you.
Bittysmom.. Thank you for your kind words.. that means alot.. reading your message put me straight back into tears. I hope I gave her the best years.. the guilt right now won't let me see that but I'm sure your right in time it will get easier.. right now I just can't get my head round it all.
Thank you again.. your both so kind
Registered: 1503009956 Posts: 158