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Posts: 7


I first got Bert when I was just 7 years old. I am now 26 and he left this world around 1.30am on Thursday. He passed away in my arms. 

He was my best friend. I grew up with him by my side. I don't know how to live without him. I had another cat who died in 2016 who reached 18 and as much as I loved him, he wasn't Bert. Losing him cut deep but not like this... I feel bad for saying that. 

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm restless. I know he reached a good age - 19. I know he had a good life and was happy. He got so much love from me. Despite being a family cat, I was his favourite human and we were always together. He lived in my room etc. Despite knowing he had a good life, it doesn't stop it from hurting. I'm in so much pain. 

I really miss him. I can't see it getting easier this time round.  


Posts: 26
Hi Livi1

I’m so sorry you’ve lost Bert, your best friend.

We pay a heavy price when we love our furry ones so much. The pain of losing them is deep and it hurts, it really does.

You will learn to live with Bert’s passing. I know it doesn’t feel like that right now. This is a good place to talk about Bert, about how you are feeling and be with people who are hurting, and missing their loved ones too.

I lost my gorgeous boy Matrix a week ago today, he was 11 and a half.

I think we feel the pain differently each time we say goodbye because our loved ones are different, and so are our bonds with them. Don’t feel bad about feeling your grief differently for Bert.

Be kind to yourself. Know it’s ok to feel like this and you are among friends.

Love to you xxx

Posts: 7
Hi Raychel 

Thank you for your kind words; they really helped. 

Bert was such a laid back cat. He didn't mind you touching his paws or stomach and not a lot bothered him - even my unruly dog Ted (who unfortunately passed in 2016 too). Bert was affectionate and cuddly. He'd often fall asleep in my arms. 

I will forever remember Bert and the profound effect he had on me.

I'm sorry to hear about Matrix. What was he like? I hope you're holding up ok. 


Posts: 26
Hi again

I’m glad I could help a little.

Awwww, Bert sounded like such a gorgeous cat and obviously brought you so much joy. You were his human and he felt loved and safe in your arms. 19 years old is amazing. But yes, I don’t think the pain lessens because he reached a great age.

Matrix was a Bengal cat. My story about what happened to him is under the thread “Another Victim Of Saddle Thrombosis” if you are interested to read it. He was also laid back like Bert. He use to come out from inside and do rolly pollys on the mat under the coffee table. He also loved to be spanked (patted quite hard on his lower back) and I too could pat his stomach and pull his back paws (he didn’t so much like the front ones pulled). He use to sleep on top of me at night in the winter. I think I was his electric blanket. He was a very active, outdoor cat and he hunted. Rainy days were my favourite with him because he’d come in all wet and curl up and sleep on my lap. He was also a vocal cat.

Thanks for asking how I’m doing. I’m going ok. Still get tears welling up and a lump in my throat. Today our vet rang to say they have Matrix’s ashes so I will go and collect them tomorrow. We live in the country and Matrix use to cruise around in the native bush so I will scatter his ashes there.

We will never forget them. We’ll carry their memory with us always.

How are you going? I hope you are ok.

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