Registered: 1585762047 Posts: 2
I suddenly and unexpectedly lost my dear Angie to bloat (volvulus) this past Monday. For those who don't know, this is sadly an all-too common condition in deep-chested breeds and can kill a dog within a matter of hours. With her being 5 years old and spunky, we never thought we'd lose Angie so soon.
What makes it so hard is that I'm currently in quarantine in New York City (not because I am sick) and haven't left my home in 2 weeks. Angie passed away in Japan, where she lives with the rest of my family - my mom, dad, and brother. My whole family was there until goodbye, while I sat helplessly in front of the phone, refreshing it every 5 minutes all weekend to catch any updates. I live with my partner, and while I love him, he's never had a pet so his lack of understanding has made it even harder. I feel consumed by so much sadness and guilt - of not having been with my family, of not having physical contact with my usual support system of friends, of feeling anger toward/pushing away my partner who is trying but says insensitive things ("you're still sad about your dog?"), of not being able to find how to cope with grief other than crying myself to sleep at night.
This isn't the first time I lost a dear pet who lives far away with my family, but it feels so much worse now that it was such a sudden loss and the ongoing quarantine.
Here is Angie, Springtime last year in Japan:
Registered: 1152849614 Posts: 607
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s never easy to lose a pet, but the added distance and lack of information just adds to the grief. I’m sorry your partner doesn’t get the depth of your grief. You’ve lost a family member, not your keys or a phone.
No one would ever say “You’re still grieving a child or spouse?” and your grief is no less than the loss of those. They don’t have to understand your grief, but they should respect the pain you feel. I hope you are ok.
Registered: 1585819866 Posts: 2
I'm sorry for your loss, I get what your going through, I too lost my sweet baby boy this Monday, stuck in quarantine (not sick) and loosing my dog makes things worst
Registered: 1585596346 Posts: 10
I, too, lost my beloved dog too young, and unexpectedly, right at the start of the quarantine. It is hard to hear people going on about we are "alone, together" when I just feel alone. No one understands and it feels like no one cares to understand or cares at all. My husband is a very stoic person and while he cried for a few days, he has become distant and cold which is adding to a lot of loneliness during this grieving period.
In a more normal world, there would be opportunity to get outside, do an activity for distraction, and find some companionship and relief from these sad feelings. Being trapped in a house for weeks now with only my grief has been nearly unbearable. I stopped speaking to a friend who made some comment regarding the quarantine, saying that she is happy to be surrounded by her whole family. Well, forget her! A precious member of my family is missing, and I am now reminded of that loss all day, every day, because I cannot leave the house. It's a terrible time to be suffering a loss, and I have no sympathy for people who are at home, surrounded by the "whole" families during this quarantine. Some actually have the nerve to complain! They don't realize how good they have it! I think that is another part of it....so many people only care about this quarantine, and are so self-absorbed...people I thought were my friends. They don't even bother to realize that I, too, am living through this quarantine, but I am also living through the saddest time of my life, a great, unexpected loss.
Registered: 1585762047 Posts: 2
Thank you all for your thoughts -
@SpookyWolfe I appreciate you making this point. I explained to my partner that it's the same as losing a family member. Though his comments clearly don't come from a place of bad intentions (just ignorance), I've known him to not sympathize with something he doesn't understand, and we're working on that. It means a lot to have found a community here to feel safe and understood about my tremendous grief. @Fab14 I'm so sorry for your loss. He must've been a good boy to you throughout all the years together, and I'm sure having an extra dark spot in all this darkness feels so much worse. I hope that you have the rest of your family to support you through this difficult time. @lovemyboys The pain of sudden and unexpected loss cuts deep... I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this, and I'd only wish for less people to have to experience such a tragedy. It is definitely harder when you feel alone among your friends and loved ones. I know we're strangers here, but my heart goes out to you. Our beautiful companions will forever live within us, always protecting us...
Registered: 1586088717 Posts: 2
I am so sorry for your loss , in these days of isolation , the grief is even more profoundly felt as we are distanced from those that would normally comfort us in this time.
I too lost my 14.5 year old girl this week , up until then I was happy to be at home and for the additional time to have with her, and now she is gone it is hard to stay home as everything is a reminder of her . My first day I woke up and bent down as I always did to fill her water dish with fresh water and realized my baby is gone . I hope that this message board lets you know you are not going through this alone ! Stay well and heal my friend.