Petloss.com Logo. Puff and Midget under the rainbow

ALL the Pet Loss Message Boards are moderated to make this an ABSOLUTELY SAFE place for you to find support.
You must REGISTER before you can post or reply.
Posts and replies cannot be viewed until after they have been checked for content & released by the Board Moderators. - EdW
Pet Loss Grief Support Message Board
Sign up  |   |   |  Latest Topics
 
 
 


Reply
  Author   Comment  
JRM49

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #1 
I had to put my cat, Mia, down a week ago today. She was my first pet as an adult. We had been together for 4 years; I adopted her when she was about 10 years old. 

I suspect the first part of Mia's life was pretty tough. A nice woman found Mia in her backyard, wanting to come in her house. Luckily she did bring her inside and posted flyers around the neighborhood, but no one claimed her. The woman wasn't able to keep her so brought her to the shelter. Mia had a large (benign) tumor on one side of her face that the shelter doctors removed. We're not sure how she ended up outside, but she was not the type to run away so I always suspected her previous owners put her out or left her behind to avoid dealing with medical bills. I saw Mia's profile on the shelter webpage the morning I was planning to go there, and knew right away that she was my kitty.

I know everyone says this about their pets, but Mia really was the nicest cat. She was so so sweet, and loved nothing more than napping on the softest blanket she could find, sitting on my lap and getting lots and lots of pets. She was always licking my hand and rubbing her face on mine when I would pet her. 

She was diagnosed with lymphoma about 5 weeks before she died. It was already pretty bad by then so she must have had it for a while. I didn't notice she was sick. We had a stressful last year, moving to a new city. I was so preoccupied with the move and starting a new job, and feeling sorry for myself when I felt homesick or the job wasn't going well. I told the vet I was worried about how skinny Mia looked but they said it was fine and I didn't push it. I should have advocated for her more. 

Worst of all, about 2 months before I found out Mia was sick I decided to get a second cat. When I adopted Mia the shelter told me she got along well with other cats and I always wanted to get her a companion. I thought having another cat to keep her company would be a good thing. I didn't know Mia was sick. 

Sometimes I think I gave up on her too easily (should have tried chemo, even though the type she had didn't respond well to it; should have tried more different foods to try to get her to eat, given her a few more days to try since she was still drinking water), but others I feel okay about not putting her through all that with little chance of it working. But mostly I wish I could go back and redo those last few months so badly. Poor Mia went through so much stress on top of being sick. I feel so badly for not noticing earlier, and for causing her extra stress by bringing home a new cat while she was sick. She deserved so much better. I hope she still always knew how special and loved she was. 
HeartBroken12

Registered:
Posts: 158
 #2 
Sorry for your loss JRM49!
Sounds like Mia was lucky to be adopted by you and having a new, more loving family. Unfortunately many of us don't know about their babies sickness until it might be too late. I read many times that pets don't show any signs, because they don't want their humans to see that they are sick. Or the vet saying the opposite of what's really going on.
I unfortunately lost my baby boy to lymphoma too. If I remember right they said it's not something surgery could take away, plus we choose more quality life for him then to put him through chemo.
We tried many things, and even tho he lived longer, unfortunately couldn't heal cancer completely..
I don't know you and what would've happened with chemo, but I have a feeling you could've regret about putting Mia through that struggle. The reason I'm saying this, because the more and more I read on this site, the more I realize that pretty much no matter what we do, after losing our babies we feel regret either way. 
I don't recall reading about Mia's reactions to your
new cat.  You mentioned : "..causing her extra stress by bringing home a new cat while she was sick". To me sounds like you were trying to help her by bringing her a new companion. I know it's easier to say then done, but might help you to think this way. You were trying to help. 
I hope you find some support and could go easier on yourself. If you knew she was sick, sounds like you would've done all you could. Most of us don't know on time. 
Blessings and hugs 🌷
JRM49

Registered:
Posts: 2
 #3 
Thanks for your nice response, HeartBroken12. I'm sorry to hear you also lost your boy to lymphoma.

I know that you're right, and reading this site has made me feel less alone and also made me realize that we are all too hard on ourselves and always feel we should have done something differently. I really just wish Mia was still here with me, I miss her. It still feels strange that I'll never get to see her again. 
Previous Topic | Next Topic
Print
Reply

Quick Navigation:

Easily create a Forum Website with Website Toolbox.

If you can, please help support this Message Board with a donation: