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Fairyswearboots

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Posts: 2
 #1 
I had to say goodbye to my girl Nell last night. She was 14. She had a mass in her bladder. She’s been unwell for months. Had a vestibular episode a few weeks ago. She was weeing in the house then two nights ago she stopped weeing. She went 24hrs without urinating and was in agony. They catheterised her and gave her meds for pain but said an operation would only prolong her situation. We hit one last day with her, we managed a small walk, we ate chicken cuddled and watched films. I took her last night and we held her till she slipped away. I am a mess and can’t stop crying. I’m racked with guilt. I feel like I’m drowning, my boyfriend doesn’t understand as she wasn’t his dog and he wasn’t attached to her. She was my best friend and my daughters guardian angel. She looked after my daughter from the day we came home from hospital. Always by her side. I hope you can offer some advice on how to get through this as right now I can’t breath and feel lost. I just want her back. Xx
behrsmomdad

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Posts: 23
 #2 
we all feel your loss and pain you   are experiencing with the loss of nell,it seems so unfair and cruel that they suffer in the end, we lost our cat smokey may 13th so we know where your coming from,the first week we cried a river, we have pictures of her when she was well and try to block out the bad with the good times she was with us,it will take time to get over your loss of nell some people will never recover fully as a part of them was torn from them,try to think of the good times and the love and care your gave her and the love they gave back in spades...till we all meet again at the bridge 
cosesmom

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Posts: 580
 #3 
My dearest Nell's mom,
I understand and I feel your heart ache. It gets easier with time but you will never get over the hurt and you will mourn Nell forever. I am so happy that you shared a good day with Nell and have that memory to hold close and cherish. You sound so like me with my beloved Termy. I tried to make his last weekend special and create memories of his face as he gazed out into the world for the last time and I know he thought and would have said, "I remember when we walked these sidewalks together and today you carried me" All we can do is remember those sweet times and cherish them. Those last few days or even minuets will fade and the cherished ones will keep you going. Cry and grieve as much as you need to, it will help. Please, try to let go of the guilt. You were Nell's hero for you did the ultimate act of love and let her go. She is now free from pain. You will have times that you will feel okay and then you will have some bad days too. Like me, I never have moved completely past my heart ache over Termy and he went to the Bridge 19 months ago. He was just over 16, and lived a good life but living without them is never the same. Be gentle with yourself and give it time.
All of us here have experienced the the hurt and emptiness that you are feeling now. We all understand and we are here for you.
Love and doggie hugs
Termy's mom
KatKat

Registered:
Posts: 171
 #4 
so sorry about Nell.  I've had to say goodbye to many pets over the years and they all have left a hole in my heart and soul.  Time does make things easier but i know that is little consolation right now.  I'm sorry she was so sick, I know it was a great comfort for her to have you close when she left.  Please keep reaching out we are here for you.
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