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Mollypetunia

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Posts: 7
 #1 

I lost my sweet kitty, Molly, last month; she was only 11 yrs old.   I feel so guilty because I didn’t take her to the vet sooner.  She started not eating well in December but I just thought she was being finicky.  I’m seen her stop eating food before that she previously liked.  But I should have known better since she was diabetic.  But since she ate the treats I gave her when I gave her the shot, I wasn’t too concerned.  In January, one day I noticed she seemed to be breathing hard although she wasn’t panting. I, also, noticed that she had barely eaten anything in the last 24 hours. So I took her to the vet that day.  Well, they drained a large amount of fluid from her lungs.  The vet looked at the fluid and said it looked like cancer but would send it to a pathologist to confirm.  She said if it was cancer, there was nothing they could do and she would not get better and recommended euthanasia. The next day the vet called and said Molly had adenocarcinoma cancer.  I was devastated and hesitant about euthanasia fearing it was too soon.  But she had barely eaten in three days, was hiding and so restless that I felt she was in pain so I said goodbye to my sweet girl the next day.  

 

 

It’s been nearly a month and I still feel so guilty that I didn’t take her to the vet when she first started to cut back on the amount of food she was eating.  I keep thinking maybe they could have caught it in time to save her.  But then I’m aware that by the time she had curtailed her eating, she probably already had cancer. And even if I took her to the vet then, there may have still been nothing they could do, since I’ve read this type of cancer spreads quickly.  But the thing is I’ll never know. Do you think that I could have saved her if I took her to the vet earlier?

 

I’m usually pretty quick in taking my pets to the vet.  Oh, why did I hesitate!  It breaks my heart that she may have been hurting for a month while I did nothing.  I feel like I failed her; my sweet girl.  She was the sweetest kitty I’ve ever know and I feel such guilt, emptiness and loss.

Candie

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Posts: 1
 #2 
Hi Molly,
I'm so sorry about your kitty having cancer. As a retired Vet. Tech i can tell you with almost 100 % certainty that even if you had taken your kitty in earlier. There's nothing that can be done to fix adenocarcinoma. I don't know wny pet owners seem to want to blame themselves for having to make a decision to end or baby's life. Or that we should have noticed earlier. Having said that, I will tell you that, as a retired Vet. Tech. I am so angry at myself because I had to euthanize my baby, Barnabas, yesterday (April 29, 2020) due to stage IV Kidney disease. He was about 15 y.o. I noticed things weren't right for about a week. I feel if I were a decent "mom" I should have noticed earlier and having been in the animal health field, I should have known better than to not take him into the Vet. for a senior Well Check at least once a year.. I used to think I was such a good pet mommy and prided myself in my chosen career and I didn't do what I should have done. If I had just taken him in 8 months ago, I think we would have caught it in its early stages and kept it from getting as bad as it did, thus extending a happy, quality life for him. But like I said, the kind of cancer your sweet kitty had is not curable and I hope knowing this eases any feelings of guilt you may have. Take care <3
Mollypetunia

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Posts: 7
 #3 

Candie, thank you so much for your reassurance that I couldn’t have done anything to save my kitty.  I so needed to hear that because for some reason I’ve been feeling guilty again this week.  Your post was like a godsend.

I’m so sorry about Barnabas.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.  We all get busy in life and sometimes important things get left undone.  I’m sure you were a good mom to him and as you know our pets hide their illness so it’s not your fault that you didn’t notice anything.  Don’t forget all the good years you gave him.  

Barbara

Karmacat

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Posts: 167
 #4 
Hi Molly

Even when we know that our cats had came down with an incurable cancer, and that there was really nothing we could do at the end except not let them suffer on, it strangely doesn't make it any better.

Knowing that all pets have to pass on in one way or another also doesn't make their passing easier to accept. I lost my cat Karma more than two years ago to cancer, and even till today I still can't accept her passing. I miss her so much and mourn her passing almost every day still. It's just how things are when we loved the cat or other pet deeply. I'm very sorry for your loss and the difficult journey ahead.
Mollypetunia

Registered:
Posts: 7
 #5 

Karmacat, I know how you feel.  I just can’t let Molly go, not now not ever.  The day before she died, she came to me 4 times even though she was hurting so.  I knew then how much she loved me.  Her love for me has been such a comfort.  How could I ever let go of that love.  


I’m sorry for your loss of Karma. It’s so hard when they leave so quickly.  The hardest part is her not being a part of my every day life.  At first I was so afraid I’d forget her but now I know I never will. They‘ll always be in our hearts.  My best to you.

Karmacat

Registered:
Posts: 167
 #6 
Hi Molly

You will never forget the cat, seeing how deeply you loved her. That's one thing you don't have to worry about. Thank you for giving her a good life and ensuring she never wanted for anything till the end!

The death of my own K cat turned me from a cold, detached person into a crying machine. Even today the tears frequently flow. When we love our cat so much, we always want to save them from any suffering. And the realisation, at the end, that we are really powerless against old age and illness for our fur babies, brings a sense of deep sadness and despair. Unlike a lot of humans, they seem so innocent and pure, so deserving of a happy life free from pain and suffering...

For me, the first 6 months were extremely difficult, and following year after that was tough too. But the good news is that we can suffer deeply for a long time and endure. You'll see all the other people here on this forum who still feel the pain 5, 10 years after the fact and have still endured, and you will too.
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