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MyBeautifulKids

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Posts: 3
 #1 
I have sadly lost two dogs in two weeks. My baby Fiona was 13 and had heart problems. She was on lifetime medicine. On April 9 she wasn’t feeling well. She wasn’t in any pain or discomfort she just was a bit restless. I didn’t think much of it because she could never sit still. She always moved from place to place. I was sick with the flu and tried to keep her close to me. I went to bed and she left my side I thought she was feeling better and went downstairs. About an hour later my roommate woke me up looking for her to take the dogs outside. Again I thought she had gone downstairs and tried to go back to bed. Five minutes later I went to look for her and couldn’t find her. So I looked under the bed and there she was gone. It looked like she had died about the same time I went to bed. It looked like her heart just stopped. Since again she wasn’t in any pain or discomfort just a bit restless. Today April 21 I lost my other baby Princess. Came home put her outside put the groceries up and then let her in. I feed her and I ate. Later that night my roommate had let the other dogs out so so I put her outside while I went to go have a poop. I’d figure just like other times he would let her in when he walked the dogs. Sadly this time he didn’t walk the dogs and didn’t know Princess was outside. I was in the bathroom for maybe 20 mins. I should have been only 10. After I was done I went downstairs looked outside since she wasn’t in. Didn’t see her. Went upstairs and looked again. Not there. Went outside again and started walking towards the other side of the house when there she was floating in the spa side of the pool. I screamed and got her out. I tried to perform CPR and much as I could not knowing how to do it on a dog but it was too late. She was gone. I feel so guilty that I didn’t walk her that I took to long in the restroom. That I let this happen to her. I feel so guilty. She was 19 and half blind. In the maybe 20 years we have been living here she might have fallen in the pool 3 times. She always knew her way around the pool. I feel so guilty.
jrinphx

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Posts: 1,355
 #2 
I am so sorry for the loss of your pups Fiona and Princess.  Losing one is hard enough but losing two is even more heartbreaking.  I know you are feeling guilty but you did not do anything wrong.  I say this as I often felt guilty when I lost one of mine.  Guilt does not serve us.  Your girls lived long lives with you and they know they were loved. 

JoAnn - mom to Jackie, Chan, Daphne, Scarlett, Noir, Stan, Thomas, Midnight and many other dogs and cats.  
MyBeautifulKids

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Posts: 3
 #3 
Thank you so much for your words JRIn. I miss my dogs so much. Fiona loved food and would always follow me every where hoping I would give her some human food. Her last meal was a big bowl of chicken. Princess was quiet but loved to sleep on my side of the bed. I cried all day today because I failed her. I failed to protect her. I failed to watch her. I wish I could see them again. To know that they are okay and happy. I Had never in my life experience this kind of pain. I wish I could be with my dogs.
jrinphx

Registered:
Posts: 1,355
 #4 
I know how hard this is.  I lost Jackie, my heart dog to cancer.  I lost my cats Chan to cancer, Daphne to kidney failure, Scarlett probably from cancer, and Noir probably from cancer.  I lost them all within 18 months of each other.  I lost my mother within 2 months of losing Jackie, and I was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 weeks after Chan died from cancer.  I sat in my back yard crying and trying to think of a way I could kill myself.  Instead, I found a counselor who helped me get through this.  It took a lot of tears and a lot of time.  But I did it.  I still cry for them sometimes and I will always miss them because they were my family.  I believe we will be together again and I know for a fact that the love bond never dies. 


Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes.
For those who love with their heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.     
Rumi

Take care of yourself. 
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